Assertiveness. ASSERTIVENESS.pdf · Assertiveness is a positive quality that strikes a perfect...
Transcript of Assertiveness. ASSERTIVENESS.pdf · Assertiveness is a positive quality that strikes a perfect...
C.V.O. CA'S NEWS & VIEWS
Compiled by:
CA Nisha Ninad Gala
Assertiveness
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VOL. 23 - NO. 6 - JANUARY 2020
# Have you come across situations where you :-
Are unable to say NO
Have a suggestion but don't want to speak up in the group
Share a view different from the rest of the group and feel pulled down
Accept other people's viewpoints just to please them
Find yourself in a self doubting situation most of the times
Want to have things your way and get annoyed if they don't
Find others thinking you are dominating
Aspiring to be a winner and lead at all times
Do not tend to bother about the others point of view or feelings
Think you are always right
These are examples of either passive behaviour or aggressive behaviour.
Passive behaviour is a characteristic of people who seek to avoid conflict or criticism. These people
most likely allow others to make choices or take decisions for them. Aggressive behaviour is opposite of
passive behaviour.
Aggressive behaviour is shown through a loud voice and /or actions, demanding tone, dominating
roles assumed. People with such characteristic need to have control with themselves, ensure that their own
wishes and demands are fulfilled, even at the cost of others discomfort. These behaviours may work in some
situations, but are not desirable for a long term and overall for the group or team and even for the individual
personally.
Extreme passive or aggressive behaviours are often the triggers or possible reasons why there are
situations where
Tasks do not get done as desired or in the time frame required.
barriers in communication lead to rifts
meetings are ineffective because participants do not speak up
there are team disputes and environment of discontent
there is a lack of ownership and responsibility in the organisation
the performance levels are low
there is a lack of motivation ……and so on
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Assertiveness is a positive
quality that strikes a perfect
balance between passive
behaviour and aggressive
behaviour.
Being Assertive means feeling good about yourself and looking after your own interests as well as those
of others
It is about a direction that you are taking rather than being at someone else's beck and call.
It is also about being more self confident , standing up for your own point of view , valuing your own
judgement
Being assertive does not mean being aggressive , nor does it mean bottling u
Assertive people tend to be
Less stressed
More confident 'Good at dealing with others
Better members of a team
� � � � � People with assertiveness skills can
Present their view more confidently and have their voices heard
Deal more effectively and aggressive people
Get things done their way and earn greater respect
Know how to tell people bad things about themselves
Know how to criticise constructively
Be more relaxed and have more energy
Here are some everyday situations. Take a dive at these questions and identify your possible behaviour in
these situations. Look for the most likely behaviour:
1. You get tele-callers calling and selling you insurance and mutual funds practically every other day.
How do you respond ?
2. You are out at a restaurant with your friends. One of your friend mocks at you making demeaning
remarks in a fun way . What will be your reaction?
3. You are catching up with your favourite television series, when your sibling comes up demanding the
remote. Would you give away your remote ?
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4. At work, there is an interesting assignment which has come up. Your senior asks your team if anyone
interested to take up. Two of your other colleagues also show interest. You too think it's a great
opportunity not to be missed. How do you ensure you are involved ?
5. It is your first meeting at a new office. At the meeting, there is a discussion about a topic you are
proficient at. However, the other team members are not aware of the fact. Would you make your
presence felt ?
6. At a society meeting, a proposal for collection is shared by the secretary which you are not convinced at
all. The majority raise their hands in approval. Would you speak up?
7. You bought a gift for someone, and the person out rightly expressed an honest view that reflected that
he /she did not like the gift too much. What would be your reaction?
8. There is thought you have expressed about a particular issue on a social media platform. It has had
many negative comments and feedback. Would you counter argue?
There are no right or wrong answers to the above situations. The answers would be mere indicators of a
particular behavioural pattern and behaviours can be changed or modified.
Assertiveness is a behavioural pattern which can be learnt through practice and techniques.
In the next article we will delve more into the assertiveness techniques.
Source : Assertiveness a practical guide by David Bohman-Carter