© 2015 All Rights Reserved ... · personal experience, and who can blame his bedmate? Lack of...
Transcript of © 2015 All Rights Reserved ... · personal experience, and who can blame his bedmate? Lack of...
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55 Habits of an Empowered Woman
Introduction
We give a lot of importance to becoming an empowered woman. For many of us who
have always felt an invisible weight pressing upon us to act in a certain way, to act like a
woman, it can sound heady. It is like the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, and so we
strive hard and do everything so that we can feel empowered. We put our own
inclinations and plans on hold for a career so that others (especially men) look at us with
admiration and respect. However, is that what we really want?
What is empowerment? According to dictionary.com, empowerment is defined as “to
give power or authority to” and “to enable or permit.” Based on this definition, an
empowered woman is someone who has been permitted to wield authority. An
empowered woman has been given power. Permitted by whom? Given by whom? Why,
men, of course! Can a woman who barred from a college education or rejected for a
“man’s” job still feel empowered? Conventionally, no.
However, we say yes, of course! That is what this e-book is all about: feeling
empowered under our own terms. We are women, not men in skirts! Trying to compete
with men on their own turf is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. We will
never fit in. Why would we want to, anyway?
The first thing we need to do to become an empowered woman is to remember that
women are NEVER going to be the equal of men. Men and women are like apples and
oranges; we are completely different from each other, and we have to play by our own
rules.
So how can you become an empowered woman? I would like to say that it is as simple
as self-acceptance, spiritual enlightenment, and personal development, but those are
just words to you right now, isn’t it? As Shakespeare said, it is all “sound and fury,
signifying nothing.”
These phrases mean nothing unless you can appreciate just how beautiful you really are.
After years of being told by our parents, teachers, peers, and the media what is beauty
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and success, it will take some time to find the path to true empowerment. To true
power. For that, you have to get to a place where you can begin the path to self-
discovery. You can get there if you develop good habits of empowerment.
55 Habits of an Empowered Woman
1. Focus on yourself. Writer Nishan Panwar said, “Be a witness not a judge. Focus
on yourself, not on others. Listen to your heart, not to the crowd.” Each time
you wake up in the morning and when you are about to sleep at night, look
yourself fully in the mirror and find something to feel good about yourself. It
does not have to be much. It can be finding a particularly cute top on sale, or
the way your eyes tilt at the corners. It will make you feel good the whole day
and night.
2. Keep an open mind. You are a woman and you are strong! However, you are
not all-knowing. American inventor Charles Kettering put it quite clearly,
“There exist limitless opportunities in every industry. Where there is an open
mind, there will always be a frontier.” You should welcome new ideas, and
even consider all sides of old ones. You will be surprised at how liberating it
can be. It also makes you a much better conversationalist.
3. Get enough sleep. Writer Anthony Burgess grumbled that, “Laugh and the
world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.” This was probably from
personal experience, and who can blame his bedmate? Lack of sleep can make
you cranky and unproductive, and that is no way to achieve success. It can also
make you feel and look haggard so it becomes hard to feel good about
yourself.
4. Eat a healthy diet. Women usually go on diets to become thin and attractive
to men. Maybe that is why most of the time those diets do not work. You need
to eat right. As St Frances de Sales said, “The spirit cannot endure the body
when overfed, but, if underfed, the body cannot endure the spirit.” Eating a
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healthy diet is a way for you to stay healthy and energized; doing that will help
you accomplish your goals.
5. Plan your day. Personal time management author Alan Lakein states it bluntly,
“Failing to plan is planning to fail.” You can get more done if you make a plan.
“Winging it” is just not the way to become empowered. Make sure to include
time for rest and some downtime.
6. Accept compliments. Mason Cooley was very right when he said that, “We are
prepared for insults, but compliments leave us baffled.” You have got to
accept compliments gracefully. False modesty is cheapening yourself and
other people. Acknowledge compliments on your looks, work, or other
accomplishments with a smile and a thank you.
7. Accept other people as they are. All people are unique. Expecting them to
conform to your idea of how they should be is precisely the kind of thinking
you are struggling against now. It would be a great irony if you expect other
people to accept you as you are when you are not prepared to reciprocate.
8. Surround yourself with people you admire. You should accept all people as
they are, but that does not mean you should try to be like them. The company
you keep is a great influence on your own thinking and behavior. Accepting
that other people can have an impact on you, and choosing the people to
spend your time with, is an important step in achieving control over your own
life.
9. Have goals. Without goals, you are aimless. As Zig Ziglar said “Lack of
direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days.”
Do not waste your time and energy on people and things that have no
meaning in your life. Discern what is important for you and keep your eye on
our goals at all times.
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10. Delegate. Do not try to be everything to everyone, and do not try to do
everything yourself. You will exhaust yourself to no purpose and you will not
get anything done right. As Benjamin Franklin said, “Never confuse motion
with action.” Pick what you want and need to do, and let other people take on
the rest.
11. Believe you can. Go for what you want. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you
think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” It is all on you. You cannot
win if you don’t try.
12. Have fun. Being an empowered woman does not mean you cannot be silly.
Let yourself go some of the time and be as outrageous as you want to be.
Former champion swimmer Debbie Meyers says, “Believe in yourself, not only
in swimming, but in life itself. You always have to have fun. You have to have
an open mind. If you're not enjoying it, don't do it. Life's too short.” Think of
them as cheat days.
13. Make your choices, and live with them. Theodore Roosevelt was quoted as
saying, ““If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your
trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.” You have to take responsibility for your
life. Playing the blame game supports the notion that you have no power.
Empowered women take charge, and taking charge means making decisions
and standing by them. There is no such thing as having no choice in the
matter; you are always making a choice.
14. Be persistent. Author Stephen King said, “…you can, you should, and if you’re
brave enough to start, you will.” Do not give up. If you truly believe that
something can still work out, then keep at it.
15. Cut your losses. On the other hand, you should make a clear-eyed assessment
of situations that are just too far-gone to salvage. Far too many women (and
most people, for that matter) stay in a situation because they have already
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invested time and effort into it, even if the case is hopeless. Do not waste any
more time and effort in trying to save it. Cut your losses and move on.
16. Learn from mistakes. No one is perfect, even women! Take failures and
disappointments in stride, and be grateful for them. They are valuable lessons
you need to learn on the road to success, and when you finally achieve it, your
past failures makes it all that much sweeter. More importantly, move past
them. Author Steve Maraboli puts it thus, ““We all make mistakes, have
struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes,
you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape
your day and your future.”
17. Learn something new every day. Make it part of your day to find out at least
one new thing, even if it is just a new word, or a new recipe.
18. Smile as much as you can. Don’t be stingy with the smiles, even if it is just at
someone who passes you the salt in the restaurant. A smile feels uplifting, it is
contagious, and it lights up your whole face. American motivational speaker
and writer Denis Waitley states, “A smile is the light in your window that tells
others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.” Don’t smile too wide for
no reason, though; that’s just creepy.
19. Focus on the good. There is no profit in self-pity. Moping over the bad things
that happen to you keeps you from moving on to other things. Whatever
happens, there is always a bright side. Look for it, and you will find that it will
lighten the load considerably.
20. Be kind. The Dalai Lama says, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always
possible.” There is a wealth of benefit in exercising kindliness. A nice
compliment, or a boost up a high ledge costs you nothing, and it makes you
feel good about yourself. It cannot hurt your reputation with the people
around you, either.
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21. Enjoy each moment. Life is so short. Savor each second as if it is your last,
even if it is spent working on a project you hate. You will find that you do not
hate it as much as you thought.
22. Connect. Social networks have made it so easy to make new friends and
rekindle old ones. Take advantage and cultivate these relationships into
deeper ones. Reaching out can help you expand your horizons.
23. Engage. Small talk is fine for casual encounters, but find opportunities to have
meaningful conversations with your friends and colleagues. Always ask why or
why not. Challenging established beliefs in a constructive way can help you
develop your mind, and make you a more interesting person.
24. Be honest. Live a truthful life. You will find it spiritually uplifting to express
yourself as honestly as possible.
25. Be constructive. However, while the truth may set you free, it can hurt other
people. If telling the truth will not benefit anyone, keep it to yourself,
especially if it is only an opinion. Remember, truth is not fact. You may not
have all the information to form an accurate opinion.
26. Stick to your principles. Accept other people for what they are and what they
believe in, but remain true to your own principles. Do not be pressured into
doing things that you know is wrong. As Aristotle put it, “It is the mark of an
educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”
27. Pay yourself first. One of the things that flight attendants tell you in an
emergency is to help yourself first before others. This is also true of life. If you
are not stable or secure, then you cannot help others. Make sure that you are
in a position of stability before giving to others. You do not want to get into a
position where you will need help yourself.
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28. Ask. If there is something you want to know and something you want done,
do not be afraid to ask. Youth leader Israelmore Ayivor advises, “Be bold and
never feel shy to consult people. You may appear like a stupid person for few
minutes if you ask questions; but you are likely to be a fool forever if you don’t
ask at all.” The worst thing that will happen is that find out something new,
and you are denied. If you do not ask, you will not get anything.
29. Yield power. Do not be afraid to give others authority or power if they
deserve it. Successfully grooming others to take on positions of responsibility is
a sure sign of empowerment.
30. Say no. Refusing to do something you are not comfortable with or that is
against your principles is your prerogative. Do not let others pressure you into
saying yes.
31. Take time to meditate. It is easy to lose sight of the important things in your
life in the rush of daily life. This can lead you to neglect your family, your
health, and spiritual well-being. Make the time for meditation and reflection. If
your religious beliefs include seminars and retreats, that is a good way to keep
a connection with your spiritual side. If you can, include your family in your
meditations.
32. Live a balanced life. Do not forget your emotional needs. Firmly separate your
work and personal life, and make time to nurture your personal relationships.
33. Leave your ego behind. Not everything is about you, even as you strive
towards personal development. The people around you have needs, too. Pay
attention to what other people say, and be sensitive to their feelings.
34. Think of others. Be aware of how your actions and words can affect others.
An empowered woman has no need to put down anyone or bring down others
to get ahead. Carelessly or deliberately saying or doing something that will
hurt others is not a demonstration of power; it is a sign of insecurity.
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35. Forgive quickly. Resentment and anger can eat you up from inside. Plutarch
said, “What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” Learn to let go of
your grievances ad you feel much lighter and freer. It does not matter if the
person who wronged you apologized; you should be more concerned with
getting rid of the bad feelings inside you. Forgiving someone is not to benefit
them, but to benefit you.
36. Solve problems. Make a point of being part of the solution, not the problem.
Avoid complaining about something if you cannot suggest a viable solution. If
there is a person or situation you do not like and cannot avoid, find a way to
tolerate it. Remember, tolerance is a virtue.
37. Inspire others. Always set a good example to others around you. What you
say or do should always make others compelled to do better. You may not
always be the bee’s knees, but others will see your sincere efforts to do your
best. That alone is enough to inspire others.
38. Be compassionate. It costs you nothing to give comfort to others in times of
trouble. You do not always have to have the right answers. Sometimes, all it
takes is a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on to provide some relief.
39. Be patient. Some things come quickly and easily, while others take time. Do
not despair if something you want remains out of reach. Take it one step at a
time. You will get there eventually.
40. Be assertive. This is not the same as being pushy. You should make every
effort to get what you want, and sometimes this means asserting yourself and
your rights. As Mother Theresa says, “Do not wait for leaders; do it alone,
person to person.”
41. Pay for what you take. Do not expect a free ride. You have to work for what
you want, and this will cost you. Be prepared to pay for it.
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42. Strive to be more. It can be tempting to rest on your laurels. You should not
let yourself stagnate, even if you are already successful in your work and
personal life. You have the potential to do more. Strive for the next level in
your life to continue your personal development. Consider taking up a hobby,
or join a fun run. Your continuing sense of accomplishment is incomparable.
43. Be decisive. Whenever you make a decision, avoid second-guessing yourself.
It does not matter whether your decision was right or not; entertaining doubts
is self-defeating.
44. Take charge of your finances. You should know how to handle your money.
Always be financially responsible, and be ready for emergencies.
45. Face your fears. We are all afraid of something, but that should not cripple us
in any way. Make an effort to expose yourself to your fears in manageable
increments. If you have a fear of talking in front of a crowd, join a club that can
teach you strategies for effective public speaking. If you have a fear of heights,
start with aerial yoga. Make it a practice to confront your fears head-on, and
pretty soon you will realize there is nothing to fear but fear itself.
46. Be self-sufficient. You don’t have to be Xena the Warrior Princess but you
should be able to do things for yourself. Playing the damsel in distress is to
stroke male egos, and some women find this a useful tactic. This is not playing
it straight, though, so think about what it will cost you.
47. Respect yourself. You cannot expect others to respect you if you do not
respect yourself. Always act and dress appropriately for the occasion, and
avoid negative attention. Have no part in an abusive relationship, in your work
or personal relationships. Nothing is worth sacrificing your self-respect.
48. Respect others. You get what you give. Accord others the respect they
deserve, and they will respect you as well. Value their privacy and accept their
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personal preferences. Never argue about religious beliefs and political beliefs;
they have a right to theirs as you have to yours.
49. Love yourself. This may seem self-evident, but far too many women let the
opinion of others define their self-image. Strive to be well-groomed and
presentable at all times, but be happy in your own skin. Do not let others tell
you how you should look like or what you should wear. American actor and
media personality Willard Scott said, “Positive feelings come from being
honest about yourself and accepting your personality, and physical
characteristics, warts and all; and, from belonging to a family that accepts you
without question.”
50. Take on challenges. Welcome the opportunity to go outside your comfort
zone and do or try something new or hard. This will hone your skills and widen
your horizons.
51. Enjoy the journey. Inspirational author Greg Anderson says, ““Focus on the
journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in
doing it.” Life is a journey, not a destination. Far too many people concentrate
on getting somewhere and fail to appreciate the ride. You will miss a greater
part of your life. Enjoy it to the full, pitfalls and all.
52. Specialize in one thing. While you can be good in many things, you should be
excellent at something. This does not necessarily mean being the best in your
career. You could be the best bowler in your team, or bake the best apple pie
in your family.
53. Take pride in your work. Whatever you do, do the best that you can. This is a
reflection of your sense of self-worth. Mediocre work means a mediocre
person.
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54. Value your time. Consider each minute of your time as precious. Do not waste
even one of it on worthless pursuits. There are so much you can do that is
worthwhile; you would be cheating yourself by wasting time.
55. Be graceful. You are never petty, disagreeable, or mean-spirited. You own up
to mistakes and apologize sincerely. You are generous with your smile, and
enjoyable company at all times. You leave only a trail of admiration behind
you. You are truly woman.
Digital Royalty founder and CEO Amy Jo Martin said, “Confidence and empowerment
are cousins in my opinion. Empowerment comes from within and typically it's stemmed
and fostered by self-assurance. To feel empowered is to feel free and that's when
people do their best work. You can't fake confidence or empowerment.”
Empowerment is not about what other people think or see. Empowerment is about
achieving all that you can through your own efforts and your own inclinations. True
empowerment is having the freedom to be who you want to be. Empowerment is a very
private thing, not a placard on an office door or testament to political correctness.
Empowerment is about being a genuine human being in total control of life.
To God be the glory!