Way back in time In a land known as Blart.

A society flourished All fueled on farts.

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All cooking and lanterns Even clocks ran on gas

The smelliest city That worshiped the ass.

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Naturally beans were the desirable food

for collecting the gas we now find quite rude.

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Everything ran smoothly As smoothly could be

The business of nose plugs Was booming you see.

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Until that one day The bean shortage came The lanterns went dim The plug market lame.

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The news it was sent From the bottom to top

When it reached their great leader The message it stopped.

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The Grand Anus Was King of the land But not for his mind,

Or the works of his hand.

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Because of his butt

He was King of Blart Because of the magnitude Of the gentlemans fart.

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“More beans we will need! Perhaps better kinds But who will seek out

These wonderful finds?”

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A young Blartian named Willard Raised up his hand

And said to the Anus “I’ll scower the land”

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So off Willard went To find a new bean,

More fartier then The ones home had been.

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He came there at last He’d become quite lean

When he finally saw The best bean he’d seen.

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But this bean was magic And as it would be

The bean was guarded By guardians three.

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The guardians there Were grizzled and grey

Guarding the bean And in Willards way.

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Answer our riddle! Oh Willard of Blart

Or no bean you will have No power of fart!

Starring long at the bean he’d give it a go

For one over nothing Is better you know.

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What is the flower that grows On the high mountain top

Where the wind always blows And the snow never stops?

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Willard knew then The flower they sook

He answered them modestly And opened his book.

Says right here

In this book of the land, Its the flobber flower that grows

On the mountain so grand.

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That is correct!

The bean it is yours! But you must eat it here, Not passing those doors.

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Willard was sad His head hung quite low,

He ate up the bean then decided to go.

He trudged back to Blart That wonderful land

With heavy heart No bean in his hand.

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There at the palace Sat Anus the Grand King of the Blartians

King of the land.

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I regret my great king As I’m put on the spot I found just one bean To put in your pot.

Excellent where is it? Put it in my hand!

The only bean that there is! Only bean in the land!

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Afraid that I ate it Oh Great Anus Sir,

Just then Willards colon Started to stir!

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You idiot Willard! You’ve ruined us all

Because of your idiocy The kingdom will fall!

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Being yelled at by the Anus Was never quite fun

But down in his tummy A rumbling begun.

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The collector of farts Was hot on his toes

He heard Willard rumbling And ran for a hose.

Looking surprised

As the hose it got hooked At his rumbling tummy

Everyone looked.

Then like the answer To the stinkiest prayer The pressure built up Let go down there.

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All over the world Not only in Blart

Was heard the great rumble Of Willards fart!

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It was louder then jetplanes Far more then a bus,

Willards big fart Outdid Grand Anus.

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So then it was By the law of the land A new King of Blart

Where Willard was Grand!

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The fart they collected

Lasts to this day And Willards still ruling

As Anus they say.

The End. ☺