We will begin promptly at 6:00 pm

Managing Conflict Constructively

Conflict Quiz--

Let’s test our assumptions and perceptions

Class Presentations

• Each participant expected to share a community project idea/passion with the group. (~ 5 minutes)

• Purpose of assignment• Guiding worksheets to help form ideas• Key Aspects to share with us.

Top Two Fears of People

Sharing Your PassionSMART Action Planning

• What is your passion? (Why)• What is the goal you want to achieve in the

community? (Specific)• How will you know when you achieve your

goal? (Measureable)• Make your goal realistic. (Attainable)• Are your objectives relevant to the big

picture? (Relevant)• What is your timeframe? (Timebound)

Agenda• Review expectations for presentations

• Conflict Management and Assessment– Sources– Styles– Skills

• Dealing with Challenging People– Activity

• End

Common Faulty Assumptions

• All conflicts will be resolved by determining who is right and who is wrong.

• The best way to handle conflict is to avoid them.

• The best way to handle all conflicts is to tell it exactly like it is--if others can’t handle it, that is their problem.

Facts about Conflict

• Avoidance and Aggression are common responses.

• People are usually very skilled at articulating what others have done that offends them, but less skilled at seeing how they might have offended others.

• We can only control ourselves.

• It is inevitable• Can be Positive or

Negative• Tends to make us feel

mad,sad,and/or scared.• How you see conflict

determines what you do about it.

• Most people have had little or no training.

Conflict Defined

• Two interdependent parties

• Perceived incompatible goals

• Perceived scarce resources

• Interference from achieving one’s goal

Conflict

• Sources

• Styles

• Skills

Sources: Where does conflict come from?

• Relationships– Strong negative emotions, misperceptions,

stereotypes or miscommunication.– Often unnecessary--criteria for conflict is

scarce resources or mutually exclusive goals.

– If unmanaged, can escalate and spiral.

Sources of Conflict-continued

• Data– Lack of information or sound decisions or

misinformation…disagreement over what is relevant.

– Methods for collecting data

Sources…Again

• Resources– Interest based– Structural – One or more parties believe in order to

satisfy their needs (goals), the other party must sacrifice their needs. (win/lose).

– Fixed Pie (perception of power and self esteem is scarce)

Sources…finally!

• Values– Are beliefs that people use to give meaning

to their lives. Values explain what is good or bad, right or wrong, just or unjust.

– Values become a conflict when people attempt to force one set of values on others or when divergent values are not allowed.

Reflection Time…

Has anyone experienced a public conflict in the last few months?

• Briefly, explain the players• Identify the source of conflict

(relationship, data, resource, values)• How did you or others handle it?• How did it make you feel?

Assessing Your Conflict Style

Conduct Conflict Assessment

Conflict Styles (p.60)

• Competitive (Shark): Might makes right. Win/Lose.

• Compromise (Fox): Middle ground btw highly polarized views.

• Accommodate (Teddy Bear): Try to get along--be tolerant, giving in.

• Avoidance (Turtle): Ignore conflict or buy time.

• Collaborator (Owl): Win/Win. Use problem-solving.

Techniques for Managing Conflict

• Recognize conflict is a process to be managed, not avoided or eliminated.

• Conflict is a problem to be solved, not a battle to be won.

• Stay focused on the problem or issue to be solved.

Techniques and Skills

• Use “I”statements, not “You” statements.

• Ask Open-Ended Questions--to elicit response and test assumptions.

• Listen Actively

More Techniques…

• Keep emotions in check.

• Separate People from the Problem.

• Focus on Interests, Not Positions.

• Reframe• Use Ground Rules

Steps to help Manage Conflict

1. Vent Emotions (pg. 85)

– Slow things down– Remain Neutral– Review principles/ground rules– Control the situation, but not aggressively– Make interventions—facilitate when necessary– Use a structured approach– Record key points on flip chart– Assess, Reassess and reach closure

Conflict Summary

• Perceptions impact how we deal with conflict.

• A process to be managed, not eliminated.

• Constructive management takes practice.

Dealing with Difficult People

I’m what you might call a “people-person”

Role Playing

• It is a fun and safe way to learn new ideas and techniques

• Interpret your role based on your own personality--be flexible.

• Do not share your roles with others---Shhh

• Opportunity to “try on another pair of shoes”

Your Task:• You are a member of the County Re-Design

Board• Your task is to re-design a building for the

County to help meet pressing community needs.

• Create your design with the resources provided

• You will give a short presentation of your boards design and why…

• You have approximately 20 mins.

Our Web of Relationships

• There is no “us” versus “them”.

• There is only “we”.• Conflict can be a

creative and dynamic force in the our community and in your personal lives.