toss/keep draft 1

toss/keep

volume 1

toss/keep

volume 1

From the shirt on our back to the phone in our pocket, we seem to have this inevitable symbiosis with “things” that follows us from the day we are born. It is a natural process for items to phase in and out of our life as they are needed; an object may be crucially functional in one phase in our life, and virtually useless in the next. Some individuals can let go of such things almost intuitively, but others may find it significantly difficult to let these items phase out of their lives. So why do some of us let go so effortlessly, while other’s hold on so purposefully?

The answer may be found in how the value of the object is derived. Although it may seem the most logical to attribute the value of an object solely to its functionality, its sentiment or visual appeal may sometimes outweigh the functional advantages an item once provided. For those who focus strongly on sentiment, the decision to let go of something completely can seem almost terrifying. It may feel as if they are betraying something or someone they love. Even for those who can easily get rid of items, sentimentality can prove valid in deciding to keep an object they hold dearly. However, when individuals begin to attribute such strong emotive qualities to all of objects they live with, they may begin to lose focus of what is truly important and what is worth holding on to.

If these types of habits are practiced and fostered through life, they can become increasingly intuitive and feel natural to the person. If the individual does not slow down and evaluate their keeping habits, they could exacerbate to dangerous levels later in life. Especially in persons with these types of habits, it is paramount to establish a healthy and positive relationship with their possessions earlier in life, before they amass too much influence. In learning how to asses one’s inventory, it is crucial to focus on making reasonable judgements with keeping an item or not while learning to sort through emotions their items may trigger.

preface

Inventory assesment will be enacted by identifying each item using a white 1.125” x 1.3125” tag. The rules for the identifaction process are as follows:

The front of the tag is to be labeled with the item name, number, and “toss/keep” element.

The back of the tag is for the description and/or reason to keep the item. No extra space may be used.

If there are multiples of an item you must identify them all separately, unless you can toss all of them as a whole.

You may not decide on a “keep” in your initial tagging process, only “toss” or undecided.

All tags must remain on perspective items until the process is complete for all one-hundred objects.

In the tagging process, if you grab it you tag it. No skipping.

Tossed items run on a strict “no take backs” policy.

“Toss” does not mean throw away, but it means you will no longer own, possess, or dictate any decisions surrounding the object in any way after tossing.

If items are in a specific pair, i.e. gloves, etc, they can be tagged together (use your discretion). These should be things that come together as a purchase.

Obviously rules can be broken. Adhere as strongly as you can to them.

I’ve had two mannequin heads sitting under my bed for about three years. I guess you could say that was my wake up call, but it feels more like an alarm I’ve been putting on snooze for some time now. But sooner or later I have to wake up.

When faced with the stark dichotomy of letting go of something forever or keeping it (at least for now) I do what makes sense, what is easiest, what causes less distress. I decide to keep. And keep. And keep; and with every act of keeping it becomes easier to believe that everything I own has some intrinsic value and cannot simply be tossed aside. Whether it reminds me of favorite moments of the past or I just think its beautiful to look at, I can always convince myself to hold onto something a little bit longer.

My amassment of possessions: I loathe it, and yet I love it. My stockpile has acquired an identity of its own; and it has become increasingly difficult to dissociate any of its components apart from the whole. They are all a part of me. Yet at the same time they are not. At twenty-three years old I realize my situation is not dire, but it is certainly not healthy. I love many of the things I own, but I recognize that I don’t need all of these things, maybe not even half them.

And so I have developed a system of inventory assessment; a process to effectively evaluate the significance of my possessions as individual components in my life. This collection is the first volume; it encompasses the first one-hundred items I have encountered in this process.

my story

The goal of this process is not to let go or get rid of as many things as possible. It is to learn how to progress beyond the items that are holding me back and move forward with those that enhance or supplement my life in a positive and healthy way. My hopes are that through this process I will begin to adopt a healthier perspective and learn to make more reasonable judgements with items in the future.

001 ∙ wallet—green lantern

Got with Gamestop points, but never used. Probably never will.

Made my first toss and it felt really cool. I got really excited to circle it and put it in my toss bag. It makes me feel responsible. It’s nice to be able to write out something important about an object, even if I am getting rid of it. I can recognize why it has importance to me, but if it is lending me nothing functionally and is going to weigh me down I can make the right decisions.

002 ∙ wallet—medium brown

He was a reliable, sturdy wallet. Some scratches now.

003 ∙ wallet—light tan with snap

Was my first real wallet. It used to be my older sister’s.

004 ∙ usb-powered mini fan

Bought this very recently for one dollar. It’s very functional, small, efficient.

005 ∙ spanish flashcard collection

I love Spanish, and language. I hold onto these to remind myself to not give up or forget about it.

I am trying not to falter from the order I grab things in, no skipping the tagging. But I am early on grabbing my flashcards and it’s getting really emotional. I don’t know if I can let them go. I grabbed my gallon bag of the spanish ones from high school. The rule is if I can’t get rid of them as a whole, I have to tag them individually, or at least in their rubber-banded collections.

Looking through them I don’t want them. They are old, a bit grunged up, and honestly a bit sloppy. Its just difficult because spanish, and other languages in general, is an area I really wish I would have delved into more, and want to in the future. Holding onto these helps me feel like I will some day. But I can’t actually use these cards anymore. I need to start in a new direction if I am ever to learn the language. I am going to let them go. I can’t believe I’m almost crying. It’s embarrassing, but its an authentic emotion, and working through this is going to help the whole process.

I ripped one, testing out the shot glass theory, it helped.They’re real tears; and I’m not pathetic, I’m authentic. And brave.

006 ∙ punny shot glass —blue

She broke in process of preparation. A forced toss. A good start. Thank you.

I think when that shot glass broke it was a breakthrough for me (no pun intended). I was forced to toss something I hadn’t yet made my mind up about, and more importantly I was forced to feel how it would have to lose it. Surprisingly I didn’t feel too much. I knew this was something I was likely going to toss, but I still liked it and knew I would miss seeing it. It was weird, but I felt worse about not feeling bad about it breaking. There was a bit of guilt, but it was overpowered by relief that one of my decisions was made for me and there was no going back.

Maybe thats the true test; if you throw something on the ground and break it and are ultimately fine after, then you can stand to lose the object.

007 ∙ punny shot glass —red

Part of a 3-set. Funny and cool looking. Blue one did break though.

008 ∙ punny shot glass —yellow

Part of a 3-set. Funny and cool looking. Blue glass was compromised however.

009 ∙ spanish flashcard collection—part two

They remind me of my love for Spanish and hopeful future pursuits.

010 ∙ fortune cookie fortunes

I used to just like them, and find them funny or insightful.

011 ∙ little origami paper star

A friend in AP Calculus in high school gave this to me. It’s a nice reminder of the time.

012 ∙ rubber wrist band—gator on

It’s from the swim team I spent 11 years swimming on, and 3 years coaching after.

013 ∙ black + green link bracelet (a)

A kid made it for me when I was on the Abbington Alligators swim team coaching.

014 ∙ black + green link bracelet (b)

A child I coached for on the Abbington Alligators gave it to me.

015 ∙ monkey bracelet—blue/white

It represents one of the first children I truly connected with as a swim team Jr. Coach. Nicholas.

016 ∙ monkey bracelet—pink/white

It represents one of the first children I truly connected with as a swim team Jr. Coach. Sophia.

017 ∙ ear guage collection

Reminder of some great times in college, but could have actual use with others.

018 ∙ altoid case

Used to hold some of my old ear gauges.

019 ∙ red ghost tin case

Used to hold some of my old ear gauges. Goodbye. (o.o)

020 ∙ cat collar—kelly

She was my favorite pet, and this is all I have to remind myself of her.

021 ∙ checklists collection

These are a collection. I am proud of them. They are me. The artist in me knows I will use them.

022 ∙ wooden frog figure

He’s cool looking, makes cool noises. I got him my freshman year at Indo. Good times.

023 ∙ yellow foam dice

These represent the first tie my brother and I really connected one-on-one post-childhood.

This is hard. It’s not just gonna click into a mode where I am great at this and pragmatic. I just got to two yellow foam dice, probably 2in x 2 n x 2in. My brother and I each got a set of two when we went bowling together (and the arcade of course). My brother and I have had an interesting relationship. As kids we weren’t as close. It was probably more because of me, but he just used to annoy me a bit as siblings tend to do, especial when you share a room with them. This bowling trip was the first time that it was just us hanging out and getting along, which didn’t used to happen much. It was a fun day, and I could tell it meant a lot to him. I always felt bad for not hang in out as much, but I just couldn’t help our incompatibilities at the time.

Anyways, I got to them and I didn’t know what to do. My “inner mom” was saying ‘you’re on a roll, keep tossing shit!’ But I knew this was incredibly important to him and I thought it would hurt him if I got rid of them. I don’t want to, they are important to me to, but it is so difficult to differentiate a healthy holding on, and an unhealthy feeding my habits.

I decided to call my brother to talk to him about it, and I didn’t realize how weirdly emotional I would feel. As soon as I was about to bring it up I felt immediately horrible for considering tossing them.

April 2nd. Thats when we went to the bowling ally. He remembered the date. I feel like the scum of the earth for considering tossing them. I can’t lose part of myself in this process. It’s so difficult to differentiate what is and isn’t worth holding on to. Holding on feels so poisonous right now, its hard to see things clearly. But I will not toss these dice. Never.

024 ∙ wooden cigar box

Got him at an art crawl. He’s cool, but I haven’t got much use out of him.

025 ∙ white die—glyph faces

It looks really cool, and I’m super interested in its markings.

026 ∙ black die—white numbers

He looks really cool, number engravings are nice. Smooth-feeling.

027 ∙ wooden die—black dots

I got him on a field trip. My first realization that I loved dice as visual objects.

028 ∙ double die

This is my favorite visually of all the dice I own.

029 ∙ wooden massage pig

With how much I have been hunched over to write these, this guy has been getting the use of his life.

030 ∙ deck of cards—glow

They glow in the dark, and are waterproof. Can be a bit difficult to handle.

031 ∙ red die—las vegas

One of my few souvenirs from my only trip to Las vegas, Nevada.

032 ∙ mgm grand dice

They were used in actual play at MGM Grand Casino in Vegas. A sweet souvenir.

033 ∙ psychology flash card collection

From one of my absolute favorite high school classes. I worked my butt off on these.

I’ve held these cards even more dear than my spanish ones. I absolutely love psychology and the inner-workings of the mind. Looking through the cards they are in rough shape. I pulled off a chunk and at the top laid the card labeled “obsessive compulsive disorder,” coincidentally followed by “insomnia.” The rubber bands have long expired, some are stuck to the cards. I can let go of these guys. Strangely it’s still difficult though. I worked my butt off on them, but I need to move forward. I’m spending much more time on individual items than I thought I would.

034 ∙ deck of cards—pepsi

Cool looking, but he’s missing a card. :(

035 ∙ deck of cards—aviator

Solid deck. Case has seen better days.

036 ∙ deck of cards—tropicana (a)

Solid Deck. Case is a bit worn.

037 ∙ deck of cards—tropicana (b)

Deck and case are in good shape. He may be the keeper for actual gameplay.

038 ∙ deck of cards—money

Honestly, the distorted bill is pretty ugly. And the case is not the best. Goodbye.

039 ∙ deck of cards—maui

Got them on vacation at the beach. They’ve never been opened. Not particularly attached though.

040 ∙ deck of cards—mgm

They were used in actual play in Vegas. An awesome souvenir from a great family vacation.

041 ∙ tamagotchi

This is an original, V1 tamagotchi I bought at a garage sale. It’s mega nostalgic.

042 ∙ ocarina with bag and handbook

Gift from my grandma when I was a kid (I think). It’s pretty cool, though I’d never really use it.

043 ∙ russian nesting dolls

I just think these things are so fascinating. They would be a cool thing to collect.

044 ∙ striped arm sweat bands

From when I was Scott Pilgrim for Halloween. Haven’t touched them since though.

045 ∙ set of juggling balls (6)

I do want to keep juggling up. They’re of quality and its good to have extra.

046 ∙ mannequin head (a)

Had some good/weird times. He has some feint eyebrows drawn on.

047 ∙ mannequin head (b)

Originally bought for an art project. I think ht dart department could make good use of him.

048 ∙ orange earplugs (2)

Don’t think these guys work anymore. Cool color though.

049 ∙ tan earplugs (17)

They’re fine, but they don’t work as well as the green ones.

050 ∙ earplug case—cylinder

Went with the tan earplugs. Doesn’t fit the green ones well.

051 ∙ green earplugs (16)

Work well, are in a bag together; good shape and are a nice color.

052 ∙ earplug case—rounded square

Small, Compact, and fits the green earplugs well.

053 ∙ tie —red, black, funky

Thrift store find. Used to look pretty cool, but has some weird stains now.

I just spent the last five minutes watching how to tie a tie videos. I’ve got quite a few ties I’ve never worn, there’s weird stains on some of them. They’ve got really cool patterns on them though. Thats why I bought them in the first place. I don’t know if I ever really planned to wear any of them.

054 ∙ tie —green, magenta, gold

Pretty sweet pattern, and no stains! (mostly) Maybe I could use it for a fibbers art piece.

055 ∙ bow tie—checkered

Originally used for my sister’s wedding. Only bow tie I own, and its a clip on. Have worn this for other events.

056 ∙ flat tie—red, black, grey

Very nice quality, and unique item I only own one of. I’ve never worn it before, but definitely want to.

057 ∙ tie—diagonal checkered

Very cool texture, but has frays and a bit worn in some places.

058 ∙ tie—multicolored with diamonds

My most favorite tie pattern, and in perfect condition.

059 ∙ tie—grey, turquoise

There’s a little hole at the tip. Not crazy about the pattern anymore really.

060 ∙ tie—red with diamonds

I really enjoy this texture, but I won’t ever use it. (Also, a little smudge).

The ties were a very clear example for me of my longing to keep items for solely their visual appeal. I very rarely wear ties or bow ties, yet I feel compelled to buy “cool-looking” ones if I see them at thrift stores. They’re so cheap sometimes it’s hard for me not to. I feel like I had a pretty effective evaluation; I have “kept a few and was able to part with those I definitely don’t need in my life.

Circling the “TOSS” is interesting now; it’s nice, but not quite like I had experienced it in the beginning. When I’m tossing, I don’t feel great for just getting rid of something. I feel good about being able to let go and move beyond something that I specifically do not need in my life. Something that is not functionally utilized, and that does not bring me joy. I feel re-centered around my goal of assessing my objects’ presence in my life, not just trying to get rid of things. I shouldn’t feel guilty for keeping something that I genuinely love for function or the authentic joy it supplies me with. I am not trying to get rid of things, but sort through my inventory so that the possessions I am left with truly enhance my life in a positive way functionally or emotionally. If an item is not enhancing my life, then at best its doing absolutely nothing but taking up physical space.

061 ∙ bandana—turquoise

Soothing color, nice design, but not attached.

I don’t know why the bandanas have me in a knot (no pun intended). I haven’t worn them since my freshman year of college, four years ago. It was a fun time, and they do serve in some way as a reminder of this period of my life, but overall they are more visual interests now. I spent a large amount of time looking through all of them, trying to decide if I could get rid of them as a whole or not. I was already choosing favorites and theorizing about making a cube or pillows, some repurposing so that I could keep them. I tried some on, convincing myself I would totally wear one someday, but ultimately the majority need to go. Even if I give the pillows to somebody, it is more an excuse to keep something that I only want for visual appeal at this point. Bandanas are not something I could not repurchase for something like that.

It is also very difficult as an artist, or maker, or visual person not to keep materials like this for their potential in art pieces, particularly with my intense interest in fiber arts. After taking a break however, I can see that most of these probably do need to go.

062 ∙ bandana—bright green

Interesting textural qualities, but wouldn’t wear this guy.

063 ∙ bandana—dark blue

Nice-looking, more minimal than most bandanas.

064 ∙ bandana—red

Simple design, nice texture. Unused.

065 ∙ bandana—dark cyan

No connection to this one really.

066 ∙ bandana—red and white

I actually just don’t really like this one.

067 ∙ bandana—navy

Beautiful color, used to be my favorite bandana to wear; even though it has a significant side rip.

068 ∙ bandana—black and red

Kind of intimidating when I look at it now. But still pretty cool.

069 ∙ bandana—purple

Great color, and nice design. One of my favorites.

069 ∙ bandana—purple

Great color, and nice design. One of my favorites.

070 ∙ bandana—maroon

Soothing warm color, very aesthetic.

071 ∙ bandana—brown

Not particularly into it now, but it’s actually quite beautiful.

072 ∙ bandana—black

Classic black and white. May be pretty versatile in terms of wearing.

073 ∙ bandana—dark green

I enjoy the color a lot on this one. Probably my most favorite bandana currently.

074 ∙ juggling ball

Was originally with other six balls. It has a rip that is taped together currently.

075 ∙ hacky sack

Cool rasta colors. Definitely of quality. And it’s the only one I own.

076 ∙ watch band—wide

Definite potential to use with my smart watch. Cool, unique, and very much so of quality.

I just went on a significantly long watch tangent. Knowing my watches would come up soon in my inventory assessment, I have been mentally readying myself to let go of most of them. I use a smart watch regularly, and therefore have little to no use for most of my watches. There is usefulness in a backup, or possibly for a particular aesthetic choice at a nicer event, but otherwise most of them must go. I have found that it may be possible to keep a strap or two that I could integrate with my pebble smart watch though. But I soon found myself on the internet looking at various watches and straps. Internet shopping had become a big problem with me over the past few years, and I really hope this process helps me to better evaluate my purchases and quick decisions with virtual transactions.

077 ∙ watch face—silver

Went with the large leather band. Not particularly enthused with it.

078 ∙ watch—plaid strap

Never ended up wearing it. The strap was a bit uncomfortable.

079 ∙ watch—abstract (disassembled)

This was my absolute favorite watch for a while. I wore it so much the strap broke, but I never assembled it with the new

080 ∙ watch—f-stops

I really like this one but I think it could make a photographer really happy.

081 ∙ watch—prime numbers

Cool, funky, yet very functional. I really enjoy this one aesthetically and conceptually.

082 ∙ watch—marvel

This was gift from my sister and brother-in-law. I’d love to see it on someone who could wear it all the time.

I’m doing really well with the watches. I am getting excited thinking about how they can live on with other owners. I would really like them to have a more active life beyond me, and be able to mean something more to someone who may be a more appropriate owner.

083 ∙ watch—penny, light brown

Very attracted to the metal encasement of the watch face on this one.

084 ∙ watch—penny, dark brown

The hands are immaculate. One of my favorite watches aesthetically. Has a warm, rustic quality to it.

085 ∙ watch—digital, cream and black

Seek and flat; needs a new battery.

086 ∙ watch—digital, black and white

My favorite watch besides my smart watch, and always my backup.

087 ∙ watch stand

Goes with the digital watch, and makes a great presentation of it.

088 ∙ watch—black and clear

I absolutely love this one, and I do wear it at nice events.

089 ∙ chapstick keyring

Kinda cool. Gift from mom. Never used and (almost) never opened.

090 ∙ mini question mark box

I put all of my lucky pennies in it. I keep it on my shelf in my room.

I’ve been deciding to “keep” more things in the last chunk, and I don’t feel bad about it. I think thats really healthy. If something genuinely brings me joy and/or has a purpose, I’m happy it’s in my life. My “?” box is a reflection on my love for retro games, and a fun way for me to store all my lucky pennies, my own kind of “gold coins.” It’s something I’m proud of to tell people that I own.

091 ∙ book—a boy’s fortune

The only one I actually tried to read. I love the off-red rectangle on the cover. 1898.

I’ve had these eight books for a long time. I don’t even remember how old I was when I realized I was fascinated by “old books.” There was an antique store my family would sometimes go to and in the back there was a little section you would go up just one stair for which had a cubby of book shelfs. All the books were somewhere around a century old (1890s-1920s). I would just sit down and look through all of them, trying to pick out the one that would be mine. I never cared to read them at all, I was just mesmerized by their aesthetics and the history and life they held. I loved the colors, the textures, the tinted pages, the smell (even smelling them now I feel like I am back at that store). Every Christmas I would always have somewhere on my list “an old book.” Thats all I cared about, just that it was old, and looked old.

I loved seeing what date it was published, and found it so fascinating when a book was from the late 1800s. I loved seeing the notes people would write in and date when they were given as gifts. It felt like a window into that time, into their world. My dad still remembers buying some of them for me, and thinking I must have loved reading them. I loved collecting them, and they are still beautiful to me now, but I don’t do anything with them and haven’t wanted to acquire any more for a long time. They were a great contribution to my life, peaking my interests in books, aesthetics, and the stories an object can tell just from where its been.

092 ∙ book—johnson’s fourth reader

Nice framing, and cool lamp illustration n the cover. 1897.

093 ∙ book—facing the german foe

“To Robert Tolty. From Dad. Christmas 1920” I love the inscription and sticker. 1916.

094 ∙ book—herbert carter’s legacy

My favorite cover amongst the eight old books. The color is beautiful. 1912.

Thought I could toss all the books, but this cover just got to me. The color and arrangement is so beautiful. It has almost a screen-print aesthetic to it, and the boy’s hair is done perfectly.I don’t know what this book does for me though; it does not lend me anything functionally. But I feel very guilty if I do not hold on to any of these books. My father went through and hand picked some of these for me as a kid. And I loved getting them, they were amazing.

It is so difficult to delineate them as gifts which have served their purpose (beautifully I might add), and items which no longer offer much, but a memory. It may be able to be repurposed however. With this one, I will try to repurpose it as a mouse pad, but if that does not work I will be tossing this one.

095 ∙ book—the young minuteman

The blue of the cover is really nice. Don’t like that man’s face though. 1899

096 ∙ book—the young explorer

This may have been the first old book of the eight I obtained. Cover is solid, has a classic feel to it. 1880.

097 ∙ book—all aboard

I can’t find the date. I actually really enjoy the spine on this one.

098 ∙ book—an army boy of the sixties

This one’s actually my least favorite of the eight old books. 1926.

099 ∙ white stuffed animal—black dot

One of my identifiers that I was interested in fiber arts/altered plush forms. And I think he’s adorable.

This obscure stuffed animal is arguably one of the strangest items in this volume. It is definitely one of the things that most other people wouldn’t understand why it is being kept. But that’s part of why I know it’s right to keep it. It is uniquely special to me and I really enjoy it aesthetically, and for the inspiration it brought about in me.

100 ∙ kazoo

Reminds me of the college freshman year “kazoo band” that never actually happened.

After reassessing some of my undecided items I found that sometimes it felt as good to circle “keep” as it did to circle “toss.” That’s a nice surprise. But some of these decisions are very difficult still. With some items I feel genuine joy about keeping it, but with others there is a slight undertone of remorse. I don’t feel it either way until it is circled and final. But I don’t expect myself to be an expert at this yet; its a process and I’m proud to be making significant progress. I’ve found it is so much more significant to intentionally keep something knowing it deserves to have that level of importance in your life. These items are no longer in a sea of keeps, but is clearly delineated from the stockpile of “everything” I started with.

conclusoin

toss/keep draft 1

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Transcript of toss/keep draft 1

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