Pocket Book of Men’s Wisdom

Volume 2

Words of support and encouragement

for men and boys

Compiled by Hannah Samuel in support of

Published by Integrity Press PO Box 34234 Birkenhead Auckland New Zealand 0746

Text © Hannah Samuel 2012. Photographs © Barney Brewster 2012. All rights reserved. ISBN 978-0-9864600-6-7

Fair Use:

Feel free to share this publication in its entirety for strictly non-commercial use. Extracts and im-ages may be used as long as credit is given with the following attribution:

Excerpted from The Pocket Book of Men’s Wisdom Volume 2, compiled by Hannah Samuel in support of Big Buddy. www.hannahsamuel.com.

Buddy to Buddy - Man to Man

It’s great to be inspired by words of wisdom from men we consider special or famous. However, everyday men, leading everyday lives, have equally insightful wisdom to share as their more famous brothers.

Compiled in support of New Zealand mentor-ing programme Big Buddy, the Pocket Book Of Men’s Wisdom. Volume 2 features original say-ings from everyday men wishing to inspire and encourage other men, and especially young men.

This volume follows publication of Volume 1 in May 2011, also in support of Big Buddy.

To all those who contributed, including Big Buddy mentors - Thank you! You are very special people. Be assured your words pro-vide inspiration and encouragement for many, many others.

Hannah Samuel

The Big Buddy mentoring programme is based on the simple philosophy that boys need good male role models in their lives to become good men. Unfortunately, many boys do not have fathers, or another male role model in their lives, and while mothers do courageous work in raising their boys alone, they cannot model maleness - and above all else, boys learn through modelling. A simple solution is to match these boys with a suitable male mentor who can foster a rela-tionship similar to that of say an uncle - a connection we hope is for life. The Big Buddy mentor commits to spend-ing two to three hours a week with a boy (Little Buddy, aged 7-12) for at least a year, some for much longer than that.

They spend quality time together doing ordi-nary things like kicking a ball round a park, fishing, walking on the beach or vis-iting a museum. The content of the outings is not as important, just showing up regularly and listening, as being with a Little Buddy is probably the most important gift a Big Buddy gives. The idea is simple yet profound: just a good man showing up every week in a boy’s life, assuring him another man cares for him and giving him a model of what it means to be a man. Knowing there is a man he can trust to show up and to listen will increase the boy's self-esteem, improve his relationships and give him a sense of place in the world. One man on his own can't save the world, but he can make a world of difference to one boy’s life.

When you were a little boy you had big dreams.

The only thing standing in the way of them is your belief that you have to conform to everyone else's view of who you should be.

Suburban dreams

Mike Handcock

No one has ever been offended by someone with good manners and courteous behaviour.

Summer evening with beef

Otto Lijzenga

It doesn’t matter what challenges you face. What matters is that you face those challenges to the best of your ability, and with absolute resolve to give your all.

Sukesh Sukumaran

Te Hapu Road, Golden Bay

When we know the meaning of our work, we will find the mysterious but desirable state of fulfilment in its accomplishment.

Roger Lewis

Morning nuzzle

Before we can positively influence or lead others we must first positively influence and lead ourselves.

Ralph Stock

Autumn above the Arrow River, Central Otago

Ko wai koe?

Knowing who you are is a prerequisite to who you will become.

Ngahihi o te ra Bidois

Pukeiti, Taranaki

When presented with an opportunity, if your heart says ‘yes’, then say ‘yes’.

You will figure out ‘how’ as you go, and be amazed at what you can achieve.

Paul Newsom

Upper Waitaki in May, Otago

Faced with so many exciting or terrifying options, sometimes we sit on the fence and wonder what to do next.

If you’re unsure, ask someone you trust.

If you don't ask, the answer is always ‘No!’

Lindsay Adams

Incoming tide, Abel Tasman coast

Begin your day with 10 to 20 minutes of loving kindness meditation and you will see the beauty in everything, and everyone, around you.

Live and enjoy each day to the fullest.

Dave Phua

Dreams of a winter afternoon

Don’t spend time worrying about tomorrow, when today is passing you by.

Tom O’Neil

Summer at Waikanae Beach

Regardless of how busy your life gets, find some time every day to do exercise that pushes you out of your comfort zone.

Back Beach, New Plymouth

David Beard

Tidal flats at Marahau, Nelson

Don’t be scared to bite off more than you can chew.

Sometimes you need to take a huge bite and just start chewing.

Warwick Merry

Keep building your word-power.

Read, read, read.

That way you’ll be able to say what you really feel.

David Clarkson

Kurow Books & Curios, North Otago

You are good enough.

You don't need to prove anything to anyone - just to yourself.

Darren LaCroix

Shop wall, New Plymouth

Every time I face a group of people, I nervously wonder ‘What will these people be like?’ … and I’m always pleasantly surprised to find out they are simply human beings.

Greg Ward

Window display, Nelson

Inner peace is not the absence of conflict, but the steadfast knowledge that you are being, and doing, the right thing in the midst of conflict.

David Whyte

Otaki Marae, Kapiti Coast

The most important thing you can do in life is to contemplate the eternal and the infinite. From there everything else can be seen in its proper perspective.

Romuald Rudzki

Tasman lookout, evening

Go … in happiness and harmony.

Rod Gardner

High tide at noon, Golden Bay

If you design a future that inspires others as much as it inspires you, the world will conspire to make it happen.

Mark Cross

Westhaven Inlet, Golden Bay

It’s up to you to make yourself happy. No-one can make you unhappy unless you let them.

So what is happiness for you, and do you seek it every day?

Tyron Pini

Edge of darkness, Abel Tasman coast

Looking forward to a world of opportunity is great.

Looking back on missed opportunity is not.

Grab it now!

Bill James

Beyond Macetown, Central Otago

Friends will come and go. Some will stay for months, others may stay for years.

Enjoy and treasure each one as they bring different things into your life.

Murray Chapman

Arrow Gorge track, Central Otago

What is the kindling you use for insecurity?

Stop feeding the fire.

Jeremy Thomas

Midnight boogie, Waiuku country

If you want to know something, ask a question.

Even if the answer is painful, it’s always better to know for certain.

Stuart Fleming

Taranaki twilight

Sometimes I wonder what I'd say to my 20-year old self.

It's worth considering, because there may be a 20-something who's paying more attention than you realise.

Try to be that wise older self.

Simon Young

The night path, less taken

When someone tells you 'Why not ... ', ask them to rephrase it as a question.

Peter Cooper

New moon at Arrowtown, Central Otago

Wisdom begins with considering the big questions of your life.

Why not start with ‘Who created this amazing world that I live in?’

Carl Paddick

Temple View, Hamilton

Luck is winning the lottery.

Fortune is something you create.

Andy Haddleton

Seaside mansion, New Plymouth

Make yourself solely responsible for resolving problems with other people.

If you wait for the other party to do something you may be waiting a long time.

David Price

Pipitea Marae, Wellington

Listening is not just waiting for the other person to shut up so you can add your bit.

Listening is shutting up long enough to hear the next step in the journey of your life.

Daniel Nepia

Te Rewa Rewa bridge, New Plymouth

When you find life a struggle - let go.

It will open up options that we didn’t see when we were hanging on.

Chris Bell

Wind turbine, Manawatu

Don’t disagree, just say ‘That’s an interesting viewpoint!’

That keeps the way clear for greater understanding.

Beach life, Marahau, Nelson

Martz Witty

Your skills and education may win you the role, but it will be your personality, attributes and energy that will determine whether you succeed in it or not.

Hugh Caughley

Last light on the Tasman Sea

You are not mature until you can tame your tongue.

Rhett Brown

Sunset with flax flowers

Power comes from vulnerability.

The best fighters and athletes become great by risking failure and being open to taking direction.

Michael Licenblat

Taranaki afternoon, Old Mountain Road

Use your strengths, talents and passions to make a positive difference every day and you will be a happy man.

David Koutsoukis

At Mohakatino, north Taranaki

Choose to let go of things that are holding you back – times you were annoyed, embarrassed or hurt.

Move on.

Ralph Brown

Te Hapu bluffs, Golden Bay

If your personal life is getting on top of your professional life, take time out to fix it.

You will achieve more in less time because you are doing the right thing with your time.

David Markus

Moonlight at Turtle Cove, Golden Bay

If you're a dog, you’ve gotta bark!

Know who you are and really be that person in every word and action.

Martin Gray

Down the farm, Te Hapu, Golden Bay

I reap fulfilment when I can say ‘I improved in my ability to respond deliberately and lovingly’.

Donald Jessep

Night path at Marahau, Abel Tasman coast

If you’re in a hole ... stop digging!

Barney Brewster

Moonlight reflections, Tasman Bay

I will judge my success in life by how many people feel safe enough to cry in my arms.

Lee Morgan

Sugar Loaf sunset at New Plymouth

So you want to be a man?

You'll become a man on the day that you profoundly respect every woman you meet.

Tony Ryan

Waiuku coast, South Auckland

It’s not what you say, it’s the questions you ask that are important.

The only stupid question is the one you don’t ask.

Kevin Ryan

Mt Taranaki by moonlight

You are all you have to offer the world.

Know yourself, love yourself and be yourself.

David Barrow

Full moon, by gum

Big buddies bend down and lift little buddies up so they can see what they can be.

Garth Clarricoats

Ti kouka moonrise

Sunsets are beautiful, but a sunrise starts every great day.

Peter Lee

North Head twilight, Golden Bay

There is no such thing as a silly question but there can be many foolish answers.

Never be afraid to ask questions but always consider your answers very carefully.

Steve Wright

Magnolias in August

If you’re not confused, then you just don’t understand what’s going on.

Rodney Marks

Abel Tasman coast by moonlight

Thanks Dad.

Wally Thomas

Moonlit flats, Marahau, Nelson

As keen to photograph by night as he is by day, Barney recently published his first photo book, Night Visions. His unusual moonlight imagery has also appeared in several calendars since 2010. With the digital revolution he believes the brilliant creative possibilities of photogra-phy after dark are available to anyone with a decent camera. "It's all in the light", he says:

"In the struggle to make an image with impact - day or night - the quality of the available light comes first."

Barney is pleased to supply the photos again for this volume, as it's a very good cause, and one he believes is "too much neglected by gov-ernment". He also notes the power of words to add resonance to images: "A good quotation can tie in with a photo to marvellous effect, each amping-up the other". The value of this collection lies partly in its home-bred content, he says, and similarly his photographs are all home-grown.

Taranaki-born, Barney has in recent years re-turned to New Plymouth with his wife Naru-mon. Although his main occupation is in the rare book trade, his spare time is devoted to camerawork, and he always has several photo projects on the go.

More of his work, and further information about his new book Night Visions, can be found on his photo blog brewster.co.nz .

Barney Brewster - Photographer

The photographer at Te Rewa Rewa Bridge, New Plymouth

the National Speakers Association of New Zealand (NSANZ) including:

Speaker of the Year 2012 National

MC of the Year 2012 National

Business Speaker of the Year 2011 National

Business Speaker of the Year 2011 Auckland

MC of the Year 2008 NSANZ Auckland

Hannah’s husband, Garry Samuel, has been a long-serving mentor for Big Buddy, hence her support of the Big Buddy programme. This ebook follows publication of Volume 1 in May 2011. A similar ebook for women: The Pocket Book of Women’s Wisdom, Volume 1, was also published by Integrity Press, in April 2010.

Find Hannah online at hannahsamuel.com or connect with her on Twitter @Reputationz

An award-winning keynote conference speaker, columnist and author, Hannah works with organisations and individuals who aim to be the market leaders in their field.

Her insights into reputation, trust and integ-rity are based on 25 years working in business development in the UK and New Zealand.

Hannah speaks, writes and mentors world-wide and has received several awards from

Hannah Samuel - Compiler