SPIRITUAL FATHERHOOD: THE HEART OF A CATHOLIC

VISION OF MASCULINITY

Dave McClow M.Div., LCSW, LMFT

Pastoral Solutions InstituteCatholicCounselors.com

dsmcclow@gmail.com

260-357-6429

In Slotow , R. et al., 2001

Kota Foundation

PBS.org

Kota Foundation

Kota Foundation

In Slotow , R. et al., 2001

Kota Foundation

Kota Foundation

THE ELEPHANT IN THE LIVING ROOM

Kota

FATHERLESSNESS

The Crisis of Our Timeis Fatherlessness

THE CRISIS

“The crisis of fatherhood that we are experiencing today is a basic aspect of the crisis that threatens mankind as a whole….”

(Ratzinger, The God of Jesus Christ, p. 29).

TWO TASKS; TWO DISTORTIONS

Kota Foundation

Sexuality Aggression

Brutality

(Cain)

Passivity

(Adam)

Two TasksTw

o D

isto

rtio

ns

A GOAL OF MARXISM SINCE 1848

“Abolition of the family!

Even the most radical flare up at this infamous proposal of the Communists.“

– KARL MARX, THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO

POWER STRUGGLE

Adapted From O’leary 1994 Feminism

Oppressor vs. Oppressed

Classical Marxism: Economic

Owner vs. Worker

Toxic Feminism:vs.Man WomanThe War of Sexes

RADICAL FEMINIST VIEW OF FAMILY

Appendix B of Suffering Patriarchy, by Robert Lindsay Cheney Jr.

“GAY MARRIAGE” IS ONLY A MEANS TO A SOCIALIST END

TOXIC FEMINISM

The end goal of the feminist revolution “must be, ... the elimination … of the sex distinction itself; genital differences between human beings would no longer matter culturally."

— Shulamith Firestone, The Dialectic of Sex, 1970, pp.11

TOXIC FEMINISM

“The heart of woman’s oppression is her childbearing and childrearing roles."

— Shulamith Firestone, The Dialectic of Sex, 1970, pp.72

SCOTUS 1992: CASEY V. PLANNED PARENTHOOD

"At the heart of liberty is the right to define one's own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life…"

January 2017

CHURCH ATTENDANCE (CARA)

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80

90

100

Baptized Catholics Catholics attending Mass

23%

CHURCH ATTENDANCE

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80

90

100

Women Men

40%

60%

THE CHURCH NEEDS TO LEAD THE WAY

Our identity & existence are at stake.

WHAT TO DO?

A CATHOLIC VISION OF MASCULINITY (CVM)

FOUR COMPONENTS OF A CVM

1. On Being Family

2. Spiritual Fatherhood as the Heart & Summit

3. The Fundamentals

4. The Integrated or Wise Man

ON BEING FAMILY

Spiritual Household Always

Physical Household Sometimes

© Dave McClow

A CATHOLIC VISION OF MASCULINITY

Spiritual Fatherhood as the Heart & Summit:

Lived out in Chivalry as Priest, Prophet, & King

WHAT IS SPIRITUAL FATHERHOOD?

Spiritual Fatherhood

WHAT IS SPIRITUAL FATHERHOOD?

THE UNIVERSAL CALL TO SPIRITUAL FATHERHOOD

Single (NBM or

annulled marriage) Married or Dvd.

(no annulment)

Children

Married

Sin

gle

No Children

SPIRITUAL FATHERHOOD = CHIVALRY

Spiritual Household

Physical Household

© Dave McClow

CHIVALRY

SPIRITUAL FATHERHOOD = CHIVALRY

F = C

Meekness

Content: Rick Cross, PhD; Diagram: © Dave McClow

F = C

Meek Valor

Content: Rick Cross, PhD; Diagram: © Dave McClow

Meekness

SPIRITUAL FATHERHOOD = CHIVALRY

F = C

Sacrifice

Content: Rick Cross, PhD; Diagram: © Dave McClow

ValorMeekness

SPIRITUAL FATHERHOOD = CHIVALRY

WHO IS YOUR ENEMY?

On the Battlefield

Off the BattlefieldContent: Rick Cross, PhD; Diagram: © Dave McClow

CONTEXT IS CRITICAL

On the Battlefield

Meekness Valor

Off the Battlefield

Vice

Vice

Virtue

Virtue

Content: Rick Cross, PhD; Diagram: © Dave McClow

Sexuality Aggression

Brutality

(Cain)

Passivity

(Adam)

Two TasksTw

o D

isto

rtio

ns

Valor

Meekness

CHIVALRY: RAF PILOTS

SPIRITUAL FATHERHOOD = CHIVALRY

Spiritual Household

Physical Household

© Dave McClow

WHY PRIEST, PROPHET, & KING?

LIVED OUT AS PRIEST, PROPHET, AND KING

Spiritual Household

Physical Household

© Dave McClow

Father

Priest

Prophet

King

Valor MeeknessBrutality Passivity

Persecutor Coward

Controller Absent

Betrayer Victim

Tyrant Enabler

Distortions of Valor:

Distortions of Meekness:

Chivalry

© Dave McClow

-- Sacrifice --

PRIEST, PROPHET, KING

Fully expressed on the Cross:

The Altar

The Pulpit

The Throne

A CATHOLIC VISION OF MASCULINITY

The Integrated Man Or The Wise Man:

Head , Heart, and Hands

© Dave McClow

THE INTEGRATED OR WISE MAN

Intellect

Will

Memory

KNOW

SERVE

LOVE

Spiritual Household

Physical Household

Emotions

© Dave McClow

HEAD, HEART, & HANDS

Vatican II: a Pastoral Council

Vatican II: “The Universal Call to Holiness”

Wojtyla: “The Enrichment of Faith”

JP II: “Affective Maturity,” in Pastores Dabo Vobis

IPNB: Brain Integration & McClow “The Physiology of Virtue,”

© Dave McClow

THE INTEGRATED OR WISE MAN

Memory

LOVE

Emotions

PHILOSOPHY HAS BEEN HEARTLESS!

Memory

LOVE

Emotions

© Dave McClow

www.hildebrandproject.org

PASTORAL COUNSELING VIA THE CATECHISM

It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense;

but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit

turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession.

CCC 2843

PASTORAL COUNSELING VIA THE CATECHISM

The purification of our hearts has to do with paternal or maternal images, stemming from our personal and cultural history, and influencing our relationship with God.

CCC 2779

© Dave McClow

DISTORTION:ALL HEAD

“But your hearts are far from me.” (Mt 15:8)

Faith without works is dead. (Jm.2:26)

You believe in God? Good! So do the demons! (Jm. 2:19)

KNOW

SERVE

© Dave McClow

DISTORTION:ALL HANDS

Little knowledge of the Faith

No Personal Friendship with Christ

Service;Utilitarian Approach

SERVE

© Dave McClow

DISTORTION:ALL HEART

Tossed by every wind of doctrine (heresy) (Eph 4:14)

All Heart, Indulgent, No Boundaries, Feminized No Follow

Through/ No Good Works

LOVE

Lacks ReasoningAbility

© Dave McClow

DISTORTION:PHARISEES

White washed tombs

KNOW

SERVE

Know the right doctrine

No Heart or Mercy

Follow the letter of the Law

KNOW

SERVE

LOVE

© Dave McClow

SINDistorted Thoughts:Lies about self, others, & God

Distorted Feelings:Fear, rage, lust, powerlessness

Distorted Behaviors:Actions, Character Flaws

KNOW

SERVE

A CATHOLIC VISION OF MASCULINITY

The Fundamentals

© Dave McClow

THE FUNDAMENTALS

WO

RS

HIP

Re

ceivin

g L

ove

Be

ing

Le

avin

g-C

on

ne

cting

FEAR UNDERLIES ALL SIN

© Dave McClow

THE FUNDAMENTALS

WO

RS

HIP

Re

ceivin

g L

ove

Be

ing

Co

nn

ectin

gC

om

mu

nio

COMPLEMENTARITY

Spiritual Household Always

Physical Household Sometimes

© Dave McClow

Man

Woman

© Dave McClow

PASTORAL MODEL

Receiving Love

Made a Part of Family

© Dave McClow

PASTORAL MODEL

Making Families

GivingLove

© Dave McClow

PASTORAL MODELProblems Show up

Here

© Dave McClow

PASTORAL MODEL

Affirm Identity

Lo

ved

Receiving Love

© Dave McClow

PASTORAL MODEL

Affirm Identity

Lo

ved

Challenged

© Dave McClow

PASTORAL MODEL

Lo

ved

© Dave McClow

THREE ROADS INCognitive

Affective

Behavioral

KNOW

SERVE

Photo by A Wieth Wikimedia

Kota Foundation

The Crisis of Our Timeis Fatherlessness

Kota Foundation

A CATHOLIC VISION OF MASCULINITY (CVM)

ON BEING FAMILY

Spiritual Household Always

Physical Household Sometimes

© Dave McClow

SPIRITUAL FATHERHOOD IS CHIVALRY LIVED OUT AS PRIEST, PROPHET, AND KING

Spiritual Household

Physical Household

© Dave McClow

© Dave McClow

THE INTEGRATED OR WISE MAN

Intellect

Will

Memory

Emotions

© Dave McClow

THE FUNDAMENTALS

WO

RS

HIP

Re

ceivin

g L

ove

Be

ing

Co

nn

ectin

gC

om

mu

nio

Sexuality Aggression

Brutality

(Cain)

Passivity

(Adam)

Two TasksTw

o D

isto

rtio

ns

Valor

Meekness

ABBA PRAYER: LOVED & THEN CHALLENGED

THE ABBA PRAYER FOR MEN

ABBA CHALLENGE

SPIRITUAL FATHERHOOD: THE HEART OF A CATHOLIC

VISION OF MASCULINITY

Dave McClow M.Div., LCSW, LMFT

Pastoral Solutions InstituteCatholicCounselors.com

dsmcclow@gmail.com

260-357-6429