Challenges of Parenting

Dr. Ravi Samuel MA., MPhil., Ph.D.

Cognitive Psychotherapist

www.urclinic.com

Major Focus

• Family

• Spirituality

• Academics

• Social Interactions

• Recreational Activities

• Concerning relationships and habits

The role of parents

• Constantly Challenging

Academics / Projects / Extra-curricular / Recreation

Children’s emotional needs

Demands from teachers

Finance – spending habits

Managing performance

Problems in School/Family/Peers

• Behavioural Problems

• Sidelined

• Branded ‘Poor Student’

• Written Off Student

Enhancing Academic Performance

• Poorly Trained Cognition

• Poor Study Skills

• Emotional Problems

• Problems in School/Family/Peers

Ways of Improving

• Poorly Trained Cognition

• Simple Cognitive Exercises

• Specialised computer programme

• Simple memory, concentration exercises

Training the Cognition

• Poor Attention• Poor Concentration• Poor Registration• Poor Retrieval Skills• Recalling Unlearned

Material• Misinterpretation of

‘memorised’ for ‘understood’

• Cognitive Retraining Method to Improve Cognitive functions

• ‘Exercises’

• Destructive Thoughts towards learning

Faulty Study SkillsDouble Track Thought Process

Scanning physically and Mentally

Breaking quite too Often

Searching Obsessional Organisation

Looking for a break

Conversations

Telephone etc Faulty Posture

Wrong Timing

Poor organisation of materials

Study Behaviour

• Poor Study Behaviour • Behavioural Exercises

• Insight and Fading of faulty Behaviour

• Relearning exercises

Emotional ProblemsNegative Attitude towards Self

Negative Attitude by teachers

Negative Attitude by peers/siblings/family

Negative Attitude towards studies

Negative Attitude towards cognitive abilities

Negative Attitude towards Life

Emotional Problems

• Persistent Negative Emotions

• Poor management of Emotions

• Lack of Positive Emotions

• Creating Positive Experiences

Problem Children!

• Learning Difficulty

• Students with Emotional problems

• Students with Personality problems

Lack of Attention/Hyperactivity

• ADHD

• Any attempt to calm the child may be futile

• Specific activity based strategies can be developed to increase a desired behaviour

Dyslexia

• Problem with language

• Problem with writing

• Problem with calculation

• Host of emotional and behavioural Problems

Slow Learners• Normal IQ but slow in

learning

• Little below average IQ

• Poor concentration/memory etc

Distracted Group of students

• All classes will have a clique which are going in the wrong path influencing one another

• Pride in deviant and undesirable behaviour.

cutting classes/movies/love

The Natural Response

• Anger

• Frustration

• Punishments

• Helplessness

The trained response• Talking to the child

• Dealing with the problem as a family

• Reporting to Teachers/principal

• Referring to a Counsellor

Techniques for effectiveness

• More priority to personality than performance

• Focus on future performance

• Avoid talking to a student when you are very angry – what ever be the provocation

• Have a teacher by your side when talking to a student.

• Spending time with problem students will yield good results

• Focus and encourage good behaviour in problem children

Techniques for effectiveness

• Sensitive to student’s emotions

• Do not Focus on Performance

• Alert about Problem children

• Dealing at different levels – Family – Friends – Family – Relatives – School [Depending on the comfort of the child]

Academic

• Creating a conducive academic atmosphere

• Developing the habit of Reading

• Providing Supervision

• Being at home/sitting with the child

• Don’t find faults

Emotional Management

• Acceptance

• Criticism

• Repeated

Appreciation

Parents and Emotions

Deprivation

Pampering

Enhancing Performance

• Responsibility

• Involvement

• Application

Motivation

• Parent Student

• Repeatedly advising == Nagging

• Lecture on others == Stupid Idea

• High Salary/Status == ?!? *.@ ?

• Motivational Speech == No one listens

Motivation

• Develop study habits

• Provide Assistance

• Supervise the work

• Increase study time over weeks or months

• Appreciate small efforts in front of others

Motivation Just Talking Wont Yeild Results

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• Perspective with which parents try to motivate their children

• Needs different set of skills to shift from one state of performance to another.

Motivation

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Emotional Management

• Low marks

• low self esteem

• Guilt

• Shame

• Embarrassment

• Emotionally supportive

• Brain functions better in good mood.

• Do not forget that the student is far more upset than you!

Thank You

Ladies and Gentlemen