RESISTANCE Understanding and Dealing with ResistanceCANAR ANNUAL CONFERENCE - Panama City, FL - 2014Lou Adams CANAR Training Director

5 GOOD THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT DEALING WITH RESISTANCE

1.Resistance Is A Good Thing2.It’s About Managing Emotions3.It’s About Managing Relations4.It’s About Managing How You Frame Things5.It’s About Your Professionalism

IT’S A GOOD THING – IF UNDERSTOOD AND ADDRESSED

RESISTANCE DEFINED • Resistance is the emotion that occurs when our expectations of “The Way

Things Are” is interrupted.

• Resistance can be defined as an indirect or camouflaged expression of concern, control and/or vulnerability.

• If concerns about feeling out of control and vulnerabilities are expressed directly and openly it is not labeled as resistance

• It is also important to remember than an open disagreement is not resistance – it is simply a disagreement.

FORMS OF RESISTANCEPASSIVE AGGRESSIVE

• Giving one-word answers• Claiming confusion• Denying or smoothing over the

difficult reality• Giving superficial compliance• Rambling• Getting lost in irrelevant details

• Getting angry• Attacking the messenger• Blaming others• Questioning credentials• Going Silent• Changing the subject

THE THREE LEVELS OF THE MEETING

•Level 1: Client’s Emotional Response

• Level 2: Client’s Emotional Response

• Level 3: Counselor’s Emotional Response

LEVEL 1: THE CONTENT LEVEL

• Purpose of the meeting• Addressing the real issues• Dealing with the unwelcome events• Addressing the changes needed

LEVEL 2: CLIENT’S EMOTIONAL RESPONSE

• Client’s Loss of Control• Difficulty Facing Up to Hard Realities• Feelings of Vulnerability

COUNSELOR’S EMOTIONAL RESPONSE

• Counselor’s Loss of Control• Seeking Approval• Threat to self-esteem

ACTIVITY: YOUR WAYS OF RESISTING

1. Please answer the following questions individually• What forms of resistance do you use to avoid losing control, being

vulnerable, or facing up to harsh realities?• Think of a time when you recently became resistant in the face of

difficult news or an unwanted surprise.2. Get with two or three other people and talk about your answers –

telling the story of when you were recently resistant3. Be prepared to offer an example from your group

UNDERSTANDING RESISTANCEClients can become unstuck by knowing what they are going through and getting receiving some guidance and counseling on the process.

ENDINGS AND PRE-CONTEMPLATION

Handle the lossCounselorEmpathetic Listener

DON’T PUSH THE RIVER

IT FLOWS MY ITSELF FRITZ PEARLS

Muskegon River near Whispering Trails, Sylvan Township MI