Post on 19-Feb-2016
description
PrimarySocial & Emotional
Aspects of Learning
Theme 6: Relationships
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Good to be me …..
….. how was it for you?
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Activity: Reflection
Individually reflect for a minute on the last theme ‘Good to be me’ and identify; One key point of particular success One area for development
Share and record them with your groupFeedback a key point to the whole group
What to do;
PrimarySocial & Emotional
Aspects of Learning
Theme 6: Relationships
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How is it used?
Theme for half term that involves the whole school community
Theme and materials introduced in staff meeting
Initial assembly from theme overview
Curriculum work at different levels
Celebration assembly
Follow up staff meeting review and sharing of practice
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Relationships
This theme is the second of two focusing specifically on feelings. It explores feelings within the context of our important relationships including family and friends.
‘Relationships’ aims to develop knowledge, understanding and skills in three key social and emotional aspects of learning;
Self-awareness Managing feelings Empathy
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Relationships
In addition, there is also a focus throughout the theme on helping children understand the feelings associated with an experience that we all need to cope with at some time: that of loss - whether of a favourite possession, a friend, a family home or a loved one.
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Whole school focus
Using the schools usual means of celebration (praise, notes to the child and parent/carers, certificates, peer nominations, etc.) to notice and celebrate children (or adults) who were observed;Week 1: Changing an unfair situationWeek 2: Being pleased for someone’s achievementsWeek 3: Telling the truth, saying sorry or making
amendsWeek 4: Helping someone who is feeling sad or
lonely
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Points to note
You might not have chosen to use many of the Purple set activities in the previous themes, but working together as a staff to explore loss and other feelings within close relationships will be very beneficial before working with children.
People’s reactions to loss are varied and
you will have your own range of thoughts, feelings and ways of dealing with issues.
Before working with children, it is important that you
have acknowledged and identified your own emotions and have reflected upon your own responses to loss.
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Points to note
The following activities are designed to help you talk with colleagues and provide some insight into what children might feel and need to know.
When undertaking the activities
you will need to be sensitive to the needs and possible
reactions of any members of the staff group who have themselves experienced significant loss.
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A quote from Winston’s Wish…
My Mum died and my life changed for ever, it was the
biggest thing that ever happened to me. My teacher never
mentioned it.
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Activity 1: Why teach about loss?
Spend a few minutes completing the quiz by yourself before we go through the
answers.
It is estimated that every 30 minutes a child oryoung person in the UK is bereaved of a
parent.
That’s 55 a day.
Or 20,000 childrenevery year.
Around 10% of those aged between 5 and 15will have lost a parent, carer, close friend or close relative – that’s
almost a million of our young people.
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Although relatively few children are bereaved, most will experience losses of other kinds during their childhood. Losing a home, losing friends because of moving house or changing schools or losing a pet are examples.
By helping children learn how to express and
manage their feelings, you are helping them to remain emotionally healthy and to engage with learning more effectively.
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Death neither obeys the school timetable nor
appears on it … it enters the classroom without
knocking.
A quote from Winston’s Wish
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Activity 2: Types of loss
In pairs, read through the set of cards on your table and add any ideas about additional losses on the blank cards.
Place the cards in order, according to how bad you might feel if these things happened to you.
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Activity 2: Types of loss
Now in small groups, choose one or two types of loss and consider:
How you already support children who have suffered this type of loss
How your school currently supports children who have suffered this type of loss
What your school might do differently and what else your school could reasonably do to support children
who have suffered this type of loss
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Feelings of grief
Grief reactions vary but there is a consensus that there are different phases that many people go through when they suffer a significant loss. These can be seen as a progression from one phase to another, starting with shock, disbelief and denial and ending with acceptance.
But those who have experienced loss will say that the route is not direct, that there are many times when they regress to an earlier stage; and even once they feel that they have accepted the loss, there are times when they are overwhelmed by despair and distress.
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Feelings of grief
Reactions to loss are highly individual, and there is no one right or normal way to grieve. We have called the feelings associated with significant loss the ‘feelings of grief’.
Disbelief (associated thoughts and feelings
– shock, denial, disbelief)Recognising the loss
(associated thoughts and feelings – yearning, anger, guilt, sadness,
despair, pain, distress)Realisation
(associated thoughts and feelings – sadness,
hopelessness, depression)Acceptance
(associated thoughts and feelings – the full range of
feelings)
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Activity 3: Feelings of grief
Look at resource sheet 2 where characters express different feelings of a loss. Identify which phase in the feelings of grief you think they are operating within.
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Activity 4: Loss through separation or divorce
This activity is based on the techniques used in the Philosophy for Children approach. (See appendix 6 ‘Communities of enquiry’)
Read the story Wils or Pilgrim from the Blue set. In pairs, agree a question about the story that you would like to explore.
Record everyone’s questions on a flipchart and agree as a group, by voting,
on a question you will focus on.
One person should act as a facilitator. Their role should be to support the
discussion by prompting people to keep to the question and, if they feel confident
enough, to ask facilitative questions.
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Activity 5: Setting the ground rules
As adults we are often worried about talking to children about their loss, especially if the loss is due to bereavement. However, talking about loss is often useful to a child, as it makes it feel normal and acceptable rather than something too horrible and scary to mention. This activity is designed to challenge some of our fears about talking to children.
On A3 paper thought shower your
responses to the following question…
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What’s the worst that
could happen?
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Activity 5: Setting the ground rules
In your group, choose a fear from the thought showered list and discuss the following questions:
How might we try to
avoid this?
What should we do if our fear
does happen?
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Activity 5: Setting the ground rules
As a school, you may wish to share your ideas and write them up as a chart for reference.
Some common fears and thoughts can be found in the handout What are the worst things that could happen when we try to help?
These might be useful to refer to when you have finished the task or as ideas to get you thinking before you start.
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Activity 6: What are we doing now and what else could we do?
As a group, reflect on the following questions:
What have you learned from the
activities? What five or six principles should your school have when considering how to
support children who have suffered loss?
(These should be designed to ensure the emotional safety and
well-being of the adults and children involved)
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When does a child need extra support?
There is no easy answer to this question. The principle you should use when deciding what the child might need is to consider what is the least intrusive intervention that might be effective. When considering an individual, you might like to answer these questions:
• Are the feelings associated with loss preventing the child from learning and taking part in school life?
• Is the child’s behaviour a concern to themselves and to others?
• Does the child seem excessively distressed and unhappy?
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When does a child need extra support?
• Does the child seem lethargic, depressed and hopeless?
• Has the child asked for help?
• Have you tried to support the child within the class and within the school’s own resources?
• Have you spoken to the child’s parents / carers? What are their views?
• Does the child want additional help?
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Local Authority support
• Diversity & Inclusion Team, Emotional and Trauma Support.
Contact: Deirdre McConnell, 0161 223 3158
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Other agency support in Manchester:• The Gaddum Centre, 0161 834 6069 www.griefmatters.org.uk
• The Grief Centre: Manchester Area Bereavement Forum, 0161 371 8869www.mabf.org.uk Both agencies offer one to
one support, group work with families, training and
telephone information, support and guidance
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Useful websites
www.itsnotyourfault.org.ukA website to support and inform children whose
parents are separating or divorcing
www.childbereavement.org.ukThe website of the Child Bereavement Trust, which
publishes a helpful information pack called Supporting Bereaved Children in School
www.ncb.org.uk/cbnThe National Children’s Bureau’s Child Bereavement Network:
a database or organisations that offer services to bereaved children as well as guidelines for best practice
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Useful websites
www.rd4u.org.ukA website for children and young people who have been
bereaved and want news and information designed for them
www.childline.org.ukOffers a chance for children to talk in confidence about
their feelings and emotions
www.winstonswish.org.ukProvides resources for schools and grief support
programmes for children
www.partnershipforchildren.org.ukProvides resources for parents and teachers about how children
cope with bereavement, divorce and separation
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‘Death is one of the greatest taboos. It doesn’t square with our worship of youth.’ But the truth, after all, is that
we are all terminally ill. Once we recognise that, we can enjoy the life
we have left.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross, 1982 (from Good grief, by Barbara Ward and Jamie Houghton)
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Planning
Consider how you might deliver these sessions and any resources you would need
In your groups, look through the ‘Relationships’ theme and choose activities, for your age group, for the next half term
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‘At the beginning we couldn’t see how to get through. Now we
know we can – we laugh, we cry, we find ways to live and
remember.’
A quote from Winston’s Wish
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Questions
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Evaluation
Please complete anevaluation sheet