PDF 'Unleash the Power Couple in You!' Ingeborg Weser & Robert Benninga

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!‘Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!!2.5!hour!interac9ve!Master!Class!

!!!!!!Robert!Benninga!&!Ingeborg!Weser!www.couplepower.nl/en/!info@couplepower.nl!+31611340089!

!!!!!!!Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!How$to$Celebrate$your$Love!$Ingeborg!Weser!&!Robert!Benninga!

‘Ambi5ous$about$love’$

info@couplepower.nl!www.couplepower.nl/en/!!!

How would it be if your relationship would be stronger than ever before?

And how would it be if you would pick up at least three practical tools and insights to

unleash the Power Couple in you again?

Ingeborg: !   At first we were a Power Couple !   Then we lost it, we drifted apart !   Beyond repair > Divorce 2007

Robert: !   Parents survived WW2 Conctr. Camp !   ‘Dad, what does Death mean to you?’ !   Dad: ‘Shall we have an icecream?!’

!   Cancer took Mary away 2012 !   Being emotional: YES !   Expressing emotions: So So

ALL!OK,!!ONE!FRONTIER,!Home!Love!connecLon!!Three!thicknesses!bonds!

TransformaLonal!Forum:!! Vulnerability!! EmoLonality!! Selfdiscovery!!

ALL!OK,!!ONE!FRONTIER,!Home!Love!connecLon!!Three!thicknesses!bonds!

Keys!to!Success:!! Vulnerability!! EmoLonality!! Selfdiscovery!!

A Power Couple shows !   Strong emotional bond !   Firm commitment !   Vibrant intimacy !   Having great times !   Effective conflict resolution !   Clear communication !   Open emotional expression !   Satisfying deeper needs !   Result: True Togetherness!

!   ‘The TrafficLight’

1. STOP

2. CONTINUE

3. START !!

1.   How!strong!is!your!BOND?!2.   What!do!you!DO?!

3.   How!do!you!FEEL?!4.   What!do!you!NEED?!

5.   Take!a!BREAK!!&!!REPAIR!6.   Let’s!talk!about!SEX!7.   How!to!Celebrate!your!Love?!

Strong Bond: !   Balance, Energy Up, Health !   Easier to Solve Problems !   Business Up, Better Parents

Weak Bond: !   Conflicts, Distance, Tension !   Energy Drain, Drifting Apart !   Downward Spiral, Distress

!   The Emotional Bank Account

!   The Emotional Bond Account

WARM!W:!!Welcome!criLcism,!ask!WHY?!!A:!!!Appreciate,!Accept,!Add!value!R:!!!Repair,!Result_demand,!Respect,!Rest!M:!!!Manifest!Momentum,!More!Meaning!

COLD!C:!!!!CriLcism,!Conflict,!ConfrontaLon!O:!!!Overpowering,!Over_the_top,!Outside!L:!!!Leaving,!Leang!the!essence!go,!Lost!!D:!!Defensive!aatude,!Downward!spiral!

The!Pursuer!&!Withdrawer!PosiLon!

3!Types!of!Cold!Dialogues!1.!!!The!Protest!Polka!!!!!!→→�Pursuing$&$Withdrawing�$$$2.!!!Find!the!Bad!Guy/Girl!!!!!!

→←!‘Both$Accuse/Blame’""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""$3.   Freeze!and!Flee!!!←→�Both$Withdraw�$

BEHAVIOR

Pursuer$behavior:$! Complaining!! Becoming!criLcal!! Blaming!or!poinLng!out!your!mistakes!! Yelling!!!  Telling!you!how!to!improve!! Becoming!angry!–!blowing!up!! InsisLng!on!making!my!point!even!if!I!get!pushy!! Expressing!frustraLon!in!an!angry!way!! Expressing!disapproval!! Defining!you!as!being!The!problem!! Pursuing!–!insisLng!that!you!pay!agenLon!!  Telling!you!how!to!change!!  Making!threats!! Prodding!!!

Withdrawer$behavior:$!  !Trying!to!zone!out!!  !Stay!calm!and!reason!with!you!

!  !Shuang!you!out!!  !Trying!to!stop!the!conversaLon!by!leaving!

!  !Not!listening!and!numbing!out!!  !Changing!the!subject!!  !Defending!myself!and!showing!you!that!you!are!wrong!

!  !Finding!an!exit!–!just!trying!to!get!away!

!  !Staying!in!my!head!and!just!not!responding!

!  !Going!into!my!shell!–!like!a!turtle!

!  !ProtecLng!myself!by!distancing!

!  !Refusing!to!talk!and!leaving!

!  !Giving!up!and!withdrawing!

EMOTIONS BEHAVIOR

Softer Emotions: !   Hurt, Sad, Lonely, Let Down !   Unimportant, Inadequate !   Not respected, Failing ++

EMOTIONS BEHAVIOR

In$moments$of$disconnec5om,$deep$down$I$feel:$!  Lonely!!  Unimportant!!  Scared!!  Hopeless!!  Panicked!!  Inadequate!!  Failing!!  Ashamed!!  Isolated!!  Humiliated!!  Small!!  Insignificant!!  Unwanted!!

!  Dismissed!!  Helpless!!  Hurt!!  InLmidated!!  Rejected!!  Sad!!  Lost!!  Confused!!  Let!down!!  Overwhelmed!!  Vulnerable!!  Worried!! Shakey!!

5.   Take!a!BREAK!!6.   Let’s!talk!about!SEX!!7.   How!to!Celebrate!your!Love?!

3!Types!of!Cold!Dialogues!1.!!!The!Protest!Polka!!!!!!→→�Pursuing$&$Withdrawing�$$$2.!!!Find!the!Bad!Guy/Girl!!!!!!

→←!‘Both$Accuse/Blame’""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""$3.   Freeze!and!Flee!!!←→�Both$Withdraw�$

Basic needs met = HAPPY

Respected!

Loved!

Important!

Nr. 1!

EMOTIONS DEEPER NEEDS

BEHAVIOR

Essen5al$Rela5onship$Needs$!   Importance!&!ContribuLon!!   Love!&!ConnecLon!!   Reassurance!!   Acceptance!!   Respect!!   Security!&!Safety!!   AppreciaLon!!   Empathy!!   Being!paLent!with!me!!   Being!understood!!   Being!seen!as!a!good!partner!!!   Being!seen!as!a!good!parent!

When!you/your!needs!are!not!visible…!Nobody!can!see!or!help!you!!

When you/your needs are not visible… Nobody can see or help you!

!   Sharing deeper needs is not easy !   Needs vulnerability & practice !   Bond stronger, Trust bigger…

Openness!and!Vulnerability!!Create!a!Strong!Bond!

EMOTIONS DEEPER NEEDS

BEHAVIOR

Repairing the bond effectively

is what Power Couples do very well !

!   Agree on Sign or Signal !   If one uses it, both respect! !   Wait minimum 20 minutes

‘Time_out’!! !for!‘Time_in’!!!

!   How did your BEHAVIOR contribute? !   What were your Softer FEELINGS? !   What were your Deeper NEEDS? !   Share optimally with your Partner!

‘Time_out’!! !for!!

‘Time_in’!!!

ME! So ….Be aware of your own Behavior, Feelings and Needs! Do not point at your partner! Focus on how you can change

‘Be the change you want to see’ !

!   ‘The TrafficLight’

1. STOP

2. CONTINUE

3. START !!

!!!!!!!How to turn the Power back on? Cold dialogues create distance in bed!

!   Women: First Connection " Sex !   Men: First Sex " Connection !   Mutual Misunderstandings

!   Men are like a Welder: directly HOT !   Women=Oven: takes time to heat up

!   Big influence on each other !   Same Direction or Drift apart !   Share ups & downs together !   Communicate at all times! !   Be a real & strong team

Unleash the Power Couple in Your Bedroom & Boardroom !!!

What is really important in your life?

What you give priority and attention will grow!

Priority is not about time, it is an inner attitude?

Love!Rules!!!

Work!Kids!

Hobbies!

RelaLonship!

Friends!&!Family!

!!! For now: One more tool on how to

keep your relationship powerful

www.5lovelanguages.com Gary!Chapman!

What!is!your!favourite!Love!Language?!!

Celebrate your Love: !   Give positive attention !   Be your partner’s best friend !   Anniversaries, birthdays !   Rituals througout the day !   Resolve your conflicts !   Eat together, use humor !   Undivided time together !   Time and space for intimacy !   Be each other’s 1st priority

!   2.5 hour Master Classes !   Power Couple Retreats !   Forum Intensives !   Individual Intensives live or via Skype !   2016: Video/Audio Programs

FROM HOLLAND! WITH LOVE! !

info@couplepower.nl!www.couplepower.nl/en/!!

Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!!!

PDF 'Unleash the Power Couple in You!' Ingeborg Weser & Robert Benninga

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Transcript of PDF 'Unleash the Power Couple in You!' Ingeborg Weser & Robert Benninga

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