PDF 'Unleash the Power Couple in You!' Ingeborg Weser & Robert Benninga

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!‘Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!!2.5!hour!interac9ve!Master!Class!

!!!!!!Robert!Benninga!&!Ingeborg!Weser!www.couplepower.nl/en/!info@couplepower.nl!+31611340089!

!!!!!!!Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!How$to$Celebrate$your$Love!$Ingeborg!Weser!&!Robert!Benninga!

‘Ambi5ous$about$love’$

info@couplepower.nl!www.couplepower.nl/en/!!!

How would it be if your relationship would be stronger than ever before?

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And how would it be if you would pick up at least three practical tools and insights to

unleash the Power Couple in you again?

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Ingeborg: !   At first we were a Power Couple !   Then we lost it, we drifted apart !   Beyond repair > Divorce 2007

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Robert: !   Parents survived WW2 Conctr. Camp !   ‘Dad, what does Death mean to you?’ !   Dad: ‘Shall we have an icecream?!’

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!‘Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!!2.5!hour!interac9ve!Master!Class!

!!!!!!Robert!Benninga!&!Ingeborg!Weser!www.couplepower.nl/en/!info@couplepower.nl!+31611340089!

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!   Cancer took Mary away 2012 !   Being emotional: YES !   Expressing emotions: So So

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ALL!OK,!!ONE!FRONTIER,!Home!Love!connecLon!!Three!thicknesses!bonds!

TransformaLonal!Forum:!! Vulnerability!! EmoLonality!! Selfdiscovery!!

ALL!OK,!!ONE!FRONTIER,!Home!Love!connecLon!!Three!thicknesses!bonds!

Keys!to!Success:!! Vulnerability!! EmoLonality!! Selfdiscovery!!

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A Power Couple shows !   Strong emotional bond !   Firm commitment !   Vibrant intimacy !   Having great times !   Effective conflict resolution !   Clear communication !   Open emotional expression !   Satisfying deeper needs !   Result: True Togetherness!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!‘Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!!2.5!hour!interac9ve!Master!Class!

!!!!!!Robert!Benninga!&!Ingeborg!Weser!www.couplepower.nl/en/!info@couplepower.nl!+31611340089!

!   ‘The TrafficLight’

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1. STOP

2. CONTINUE

3. START !!

1.   How!strong!is!your!BOND?!2.   What!do!you!DO?!

3.   How!do!you!FEEL?!4.   What!do!you!NEED?!

5.   Take!a!BREAK!!&!!REPAIR!6.   Let’s!talk!about!SEX!7.   How!to!Celebrate!your!Love?!

1.   How!strong!is!your!BOND?!2.   What!do!you!DO?!

3.   How!do!you!FEEL?!4.   What!do!you!NEED?!

5.   Take!a!BREAK!!&!!REPAIR!6.   Let’s!talk!about!SEX!7.   How!to!Celebrate!your!Love?!

Strong Bond: !   Balance, Energy Up, Health !   Easier to Solve Problems !   Business Up, Better Parents

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Weak Bond: !   Conflicts, Distance, Tension !   Energy Drain, Drifting Apart !   Downward Spiral, Distress

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!‘Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!!2.5!hour!interac9ve!Master!Class!

!!!!!!Robert!Benninga!&!Ingeborg!Weser!www.couplepower.nl/en/!info@couplepower.nl!+31611340089!

!   The Emotional Bank Account

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!   The Emotional Bond Account

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1.   How!strong!is!your!BOND?!2.   What!do!you!DO?!

3.   How!do!you!FEEL?!4.   What!do!you!NEED?!

5.   Take!a!BREAK!!&!!REPAIR!6.   Let’s!talk!about!SEX!7.   How!to!Celebrate!your!Love?!

WARM!W:!!Welcome!criLcism,!ask!WHY?!!A:!!!Appreciate,!Accept,!Add!value!R:!!!Repair,!Result_demand,!Respect,!Rest!M:!!!Manifest!Momentum,!More!Meaning!

COLD!C:!!!!CriLcism,!Conflict,!ConfrontaLon!O:!!!Overpowering,!Over_the_top,!Outside!L:!!!Leaving,!Leang!the!essence!go,!Lost!!D:!!Defensive!aatude,!Downward!spiral!

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The!Pursuer!&!Withdrawer!PosiLon!

3!Types!of!Cold!Dialogues!1.!!!The!Protest!Polka!!!!!!→→�Pursuing$&$Withdrawing�$$$2.!!!Find!the!Bad!Guy/Girl!!!!!!

→←!‘Both$Accuse/Blame’""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""$3.   Freeze!and!Flee!!!←→�Both$Withdraw�$

BEHAVIOR

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!‘Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!!2.5!hour!interac9ve!Master!Class!

!!!!!!Robert!Benninga!&!Ingeborg!Weser!www.couplepower.nl/en/!info@couplepower.nl!+31611340089!

Pursuer$behavior:$! Complaining!! Becoming!criLcal!! Blaming!or!poinLng!out!your!mistakes!! Yelling!!!  Telling!you!how!to!improve!! Becoming!angry!–!blowing!up!! InsisLng!on!making!my!point!even!if!I!get!pushy!! Expressing!frustraLon!in!an!angry!way!! Expressing!disapproval!! Defining!you!as!being!The!problem!! Pursuing!–!insisLng!that!you!pay!agenLon!!  Telling!you!how!to!change!!  Making!threats!! Prodding!!!

Withdrawer$behavior:$!  !Trying!to!zone!out!!  !Stay!calm!and!reason!with!you!

!  !Shuang!you!out!!  !Trying!to!stop!the!conversaLon!by!leaving!

!  !Not!listening!and!numbing!out!!  !Changing!the!subject!!  !Defending!myself!and!showing!you!that!you!are!wrong!

!  !Finding!an!exit!–!just!trying!to!get!away!

!  !Staying!in!my!head!and!just!not!responding!

!  !Going!into!my!shell!–!like!a!turtle!

!  !ProtecLng!myself!by!distancing!

!  !Refusing!to!talk!and!leaving!

!  !Giving!up!and!withdrawing!

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1.   How!strong!is!your!BOND?!2.   What!do!you!DO?!

3.   How!do!you!FEEL?!4.   What!do!you!NEED?!

5.   Take!a!BREAK!!&!!REPAIR!6.   Let’s!talk!about!SEX!7.   How!to!Celebrate!your!Love?!

EMOTIONS BEHAVIOR

Softer Emotions: !   Hurt, Sad, Lonely, Let Down !   Unimportant, Inadequate !   Not respected, Failing ++

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EMOTIONS BEHAVIOR

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!‘Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!!2.5!hour!interac9ve!Master!Class!

!!!!!!Robert!Benninga!&!Ingeborg!Weser!www.couplepower.nl/en/!info@couplepower.nl!+31611340089!

In$moments$of$disconnec5om,$deep$down$I$feel:$!  Lonely!!  Unimportant!!  Scared!!  Hopeless!!  Panicked!!  Inadequate!!  Failing!!  Ashamed!!  Isolated!!  Humiliated!!  Small!!  Insignificant!!  Unwanted!!

!  Dismissed!!  Helpless!!  Hurt!!  InLmidated!!  Rejected!!  Sad!!  Lost!!  Confused!!  Let!down!!  Overwhelmed!!  Vulnerable!!  Worried!! Shakey!!

1.   How!strong!is!your!BOND?!2.   What!do!you!DO?!

3.   How!do!you!FEEL?!4.   What!do!you!NEED?!

5.   Take!a!BREAK!!6.   Let’s!talk!about!SEX!!7.   How!to!Celebrate!your!Love?!

3!Types!of!Cold!Dialogues!1.!!!The!Protest!Polka!!!!!!→→�Pursuing$&$Withdrawing�$$$2.!!!Find!the!Bad!Guy/Girl!!!!!!

→←!‘Both$Accuse/Blame’""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""$3.   Freeze!and!Flee!!!←→�Both$Withdraw�$

Basic needs met = HAPPY

Respected!

Loved!

Important!

Nr. 1!

EMOTIONS DEEPER NEEDS

BEHAVIOR

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!‘Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!!2.5!hour!interac9ve!Master!Class!

!!!!!!Robert!Benninga!&!Ingeborg!Weser!www.couplepower.nl/en/!info@couplepower.nl!+31611340089!

Essen5al$Rela5onship$Needs$!   Importance!&!ContribuLon!!   Love!&!ConnecLon!!   Reassurance!!   Acceptance!!   Respect!!   Security!&!Safety!!   AppreciaLon!!   Empathy!!   Being!paLent!with!me!!   Being!understood!!   Being!seen!as!a!good!partner!!!   Being!seen!as!a!good!parent!

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When!you/your!needs!are!not!visible…!Nobody!can!see!or!help!you!!

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When you/your needs are not visible… Nobody can see or help you!

!   Sharing deeper needs is not easy !   Needs vulnerability & practice !   Bond stronger, Trust bigger…

Openness!and!Vulnerability!!Create!a!Strong!Bond!

EMOTIONS DEEPER NEEDS

BEHAVIOR

1.   How!strong!is!your!BOND?!2.   What!do!you!DO?!

3.   How!do!you!FEEL?!4.   What!do!you!NEED?!

5.   Take!a!BREAK!!&!!REPAIR!6.   Let’s!talk!about!SEX!7.   How!to!Celebrate!your!Love?!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!‘Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!!2.5!hour!interac9ve!Master!Class!

!!!!!!Robert!Benninga!&!Ingeborg!Weser!www.couplepower.nl/en/!info@couplepower.nl!+31611340089!

Repairing the bond effectively

is what Power Couples do very well !

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!   Agree on Sign or Signal !   If one uses it, both respect! !   Wait minimum 20 minutes

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‘Time_out’!! !for!‘Time_in’!!!

!   How did your BEHAVIOR contribute? !   What were your Softer FEELINGS? !   What were your Deeper NEEDS? !   Share optimally with your Partner!

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‘Time_out’!! !for!!

‘Time_in’!!!

ME! So ….Be aware of your own Behavior, Feelings and Needs! Do not point at your partner! Focus on how you can change

‘Be the change you want to see’ !

!   ‘The TrafficLight’

!

!

1. STOP

2. CONTINUE

3. START !!

1.   How!strong!is!your!BOND?!2.   What!do!you!DO?!

3.   How!do!you!FEEL?!4.   What!do!you!NEED?!

5.   Take!a!BREAK!!&!!REPAIR!6.   Let’s!talk!about!SEX!7.   How!to!Celebrate!your!Love?!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!‘Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!!2.5!hour!interac9ve!Master!Class!

!!!!!!Robert!Benninga!&!Ingeborg!Weser!www.couplepower.nl/en/!info@couplepower.nl!+31611340089!

!!!!!!!How to turn the Power back on? Cold dialogues create distance in bed!

!   Women: First Connection " Sex !   Men: First Sex " Connection !   Mutual Misunderstandings

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!   Men are like a Welder: directly HOT !   Women=Oven: takes time to heat up

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1.   How!strong!is!your!BOND?!2.   What!do!you!DO?!

3.   How!do!you!FEEL?!4.   What!do!you!NEED?!

5.   Take!a!BREAK!!&!!REPAIR!6.   Let’s!talk!about!SEX!7.   How!to!Celebrate!your!Love?!

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!   Big influence on each other !   Same Direction or Drift apart !   Share ups & downs together !   Communicate at all times! !   Be a real & strong team

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Unleash the Power Couple in Your Bedroom & Boardroom !!!

What is really important in your life?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!‘Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!!2.5!hour!interac9ve!Master!Class!

!!!!!!Robert!Benninga!&!Ingeborg!Weser!www.couplepower.nl/en/!info@couplepower.nl!+31611340089!

What you give priority and attention will grow!

Priority is not about time, it is an inner attitude?

Love!Rules!!!

Work!Kids!

Hobbies!

RelaLonship!

Friends!&!Family!

!!! For now: One more tool on how to

keep your relationship powerful

www.5lovelanguages.com Gary!Chapman!

What!is!your!favourite!Love!Language?!!

Celebrate your Love: !   Give positive attention !   Be your partner’s best friend !   Anniversaries, birthdays !   Rituals througout the day !   Resolve your conflicts !   Eat together, use humor !   Undivided time together !   Time and space for intimacy !   Be each other’s 1st priority

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!‘Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!!2.5!hour!interac9ve!Master!Class!

!!!!!!Robert!Benninga!&!Ingeborg!Weser!www.couplepower.nl/en/!info@couplepower.nl!+31611340089!

1.   How!strong!is!your!BOND?!2.   What!do!you!DO?!

3.   How!do!you!FEEL?!4.   What!do!you!NEED?!

5.   Take!a!BREAK!!&!!REPAIR!6.   Let’s!talk!about!SEX!7.   How!to!Celebrate!your!Love?!

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!   2.5 hour Master Classes !   Power Couple Retreats !   Forum Intensives !   Individual Intensives live or via Skype !   2016: Video/Audio Programs

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FROM HOLLAND! WITH LOVE! !

info@couplepower.nl!www.couplepower.nl/en/!!

Unleash!the!Power!Couple!in!You!!!!