Pam Piedfort

Revision in Living Color

“A teacher affects eternity;he can never tell where

his influence stops.”--Henry Adams

Myself As A Writer

Early influences:Phonics as readingWriting as fill-in-the-blankSpelling, reading, and English

as discrete subjectsFirst direct writing instruction

in ninth grade-English Journal Plan

High School Journalism

My First ReaderJack and Janet, Tip and Mitten

What My Early Literacy Instruction Taught Me

An amazing ability to spellAn freakish ability to diagram

sentencesAn superhuman memory for

grammar rulesA physical discomfort with split

infinitivesA visceral anxiety over noun-

pronoun disagreement

What My Early Literacy Instruction Did Not Teach Me

To read for pleasure or for a purpose

To read expressivelyTo discern good literatureTo write with voiceTo understand on various

levelsTo anticipate a resolutionTo predict and confirmAnd on and on and on

Literacy Today

• Focus on “connected text”• Phonics as a strategy; not a

focus• Literacy taught connecting all

the language arts• Daily real reading and real

writing• Self-selected reading• Self-selected writing

Writer’s Workshop

• Brainstorming• Prewriting• Drafting• Conferring• Revising• Editing• Publishing

Importance of Choice

Nanci Atwell

Revision in Living Color

Why is revision important?

Revision in Living Color

Karen Hesse

Revision in Living Color

Betsy Byars

Revision in Living Color

How do you teach revision?

Revision in Living Color

The evolution of a lesson plan:“Myself as a Reader” assignment

Ordinal numbers beginning paragraphs

Regurgitated conclusionsMany run-ons and fragmentsPunctuation errors, mostly commasLittle paragraphing precision, if anyLittle pizzazz or flair

Revision in Living Color

Rationale for lesson

“Writers can highlight a section of text in different colored inks as a way to reorganize. Especially when they’re writing about ideas, students’ drafts may jump from topic to topic and back again. When revising a draft to organize it, they use fine-point markers and circle in one color all references to one idea or topic, and so on. On the subsequent draft they combine each of the sections marked with a particular color.” (Atwell, 1998)

Scoring Rubric5 3 1

Content The content reflects the main points of the writing process.

The content reflects most of the main points of the writing process.

The content shows major gaps in the main points of the writing process.

Organization The structure shows well-developed, focused paragraphs, an engaging lead, and a satisfying conclusion. The format follows the assigned parameters.

The structure shows mostly well-developed, focused paragraphs, an efficient lead, and a repetitive conclusion. The format does not follow the assigned parameters.

The structure shows poorly-focused paragraphs, a poor or missing lead, and a confusing or nonexistent conclusion. The format does not follow the assigned parameters.

SentenceFluency

The writing reflects a variety of sentence structures, lengths, and beginnings. The variety adds to the flow of the work.

The writing reflects some variety of sentence structures, lengths, and beginnings. The work does not flow smoothly in all places.

The writing reflects little variety of sentence structures, lengths, and beginnings. The work flows smoothly in few places.

Conventions Spelling is correct, grammar and usage are standard, and comma rules are followed.

Most spelling is correct, grammar and usage are generally standard, and most commas rules are followed.

Many spelling, grammar and usage, and comma errors.

Writing Process

Notes and drafts show revision and editing that improve the overall quality of the work.

Notes and drafts show some revision and editing that improve the quality of part of the work.

Notes and drafts show little revision and editing.

Prewriting à la Betsy Byars

Share Your Scraps

Share with your neighbors Discuss with the neighbors something you heard that surprised you, saddened you, connected with youFeel free to “borrow” anything that reminded you of something you forgot

Draft for Ten MinutesThis activity will work best with more than one

paragraph.

Revision in Living Color

Find the topic sentence in each paragraph.Highlight them all in the same color.Now, with your topic sentence in mind, highlight in another color every sentence that supports it.Draw arrows to where unhighlighted sentences should be moved or draw one line through to delete.

Jennifer’s Revisions

Revision in Living Color

Circle every end mark in your writing.Put a box around the first word in each sentence.What do you notice about your beginnings?

Are they all the same?Is there a variety of compound, complex, simple?

How long are your sentences?Is there variety?Are any overlong?

Mark any changes.

Megan’s

Revision

Revision in Living Color

Highlight each comma in your piece.In another color, highlight coordinate conjunctions.According to the list, put the number of the reason you included the comma.If it doesn’t match one of the rules, delete it or confer with a neighbor or me.Comma rules:1. Words in a series2. Introductory dependent clause3. Introductory words or phrases4. Quotations

Megan’s

Revision

In summary,

• Children need to write their own stories.

• The ownership of their stories will make revision more important and more meaningful.

• Using color in revision makes concepts jump off the page.

And so what we want is . . .

What we battle is . . .

As Barry Lane says, write your TAKS plans, close the door, and teach literacy!

BibliographyAtwell, Nancie. In the Middle. 2nd ed. Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann. 1998.

Atwell, Nancie. http://teacher.scholastic.com/products/scholasticprofessional/authors/talkabouts.htm#Atwell

Byars, Betsy. The Moon & I. New York, NY: Simon & Shuster Books for Young Readers.

1991.

Calkins, Lucy. The Art of Teaching Writing. Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann. 1986.

Duffy, Gerald. Explaining Reading: A Resource for Teaching Concepts, Skills, and Strategies. New York, NY: The Guilford Press. 2003.

Graves, Donald. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ_sXJKiiSA

Lane, Barry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KykziiHpyuo&feature=PlayList&p=F824EE7F0CB67247&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=15

Peha, Steven. http://www.ttms.org/PDFs/04%20Writing%20Process%20v001%20(Full).pdf

Turbill, J. (2002, February). The four ages of reading philosophy and pedagogy: A framework for examining theory and practice. Reading Online, 5(6). Available: http://www.readingonline.org/international/inter_index.asp?HREF=turbill4/index.html