Motivating Unmotivated Teens

Refresh • Chicago • October 5

If you could?

START BY KNOWING THEIR GOAL

Is the future bright or scary?

WHAT’S THE BIG PICTUREQUESTION 1

QUESTION 1 - WHAT’S THE BIG PICTURE

MAJOR BLOCKS?

▸ Ability

▸ Physical issues

▸ Mental/Emotional

▸ Relationships

▸ Personal Safety

▸ Addictions

WHAT’S WORKING?QUESTION 2

0

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2

3

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0 5 1 0 1 5 2 0 2 5 3 0 3 5

SCORE

Search for positive outliers

QUESTION 2 - WHAT’S WORKING?

POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY

▸ Why did they succeed that time?

▸ Focus on what is working to create action and momentum.

WHO ARE YOU DEALING WITH?

FoolishWise

TEACHABLE MOMENTS

ConsequencesAffirmation

AFFIRMATIONS

• Goal: Encourage repeating behaviors

• Use descriptive phrases rather than “empty” phrases like “good job”.

• Focus on process versus the end product

• Say what you saw• Talk less, ask more• External to Internal• Avoid labels.

WHAT DO THEY LACK?QUESTION 3

OUR PROBLEM➤ Our kids don’t think there is a

problem.

➤ They lack emotional trigger that initiates change

➤ They may lack abilities to make the change

BJ Fogg - Stanford Persuasive Tech Lab

QUESTION 5 - WHO IS IN CHARGE?

DON’T MOTIVATE LONG TERM

▸ Threats

▸ Lectures

▸ Inspirational speeches

▸ Punishment

▸ Rewards

▸ Comparisons

IS THERE A GAP?QUESTION 4

“MOTIVATING YOUR INTELLIGENT BUT UNMOTIVATED TEENAGER” BY DENNIS BUMGARNER

QUESTIONS FOR EXPLORATION

▸ Is there anything about your current performance in school that concerns you?

▸ What makes you think you might need to change?

▸ How has your current academic situation caused you problems?

▸ If you were to decide not to change things regarding school, what would happen?

▸ What would, for you, be the upside of doing better?

CONT. QUESTIONS FOR EXPLORATION

▸ If you decide to change, what makes you think you could?

▸ What does it take in the way of education to be an _______?

▸ Do you have a plan to improve performance?

▸ Are you currently using your plan or are you waiting to put it into place?

“MOTIVATING YOUR INTELLIGENT BUT UNMOTIVATED TEENAGER” BY DENNIS BUMGARNER

CONT. QUESTIONS FOR EXPLORATION

▸ How will you know when the time is right to work your plan?

▸ Is there a time when it would be too late?

▸ Is there a time when you might have to decide to change your goal? What would tell you that?

▸ Do you feel you are on track toward your goal?

“MOTIVATING YOUR INTELLIGENT BUT UNMOTIVATED TEENAGER” BY DENNIS BUMGARNER

Rules Values

Buffer Rules

EXECUTIVE FUNCTION

Don’t Only Focus on Behavior

Power of Lists

Chore/Flow Charts

Don’t go too far into the future

Enforce Good Self-Care

2-3 Goals at a Time

Stay Connected

Guarded and Task Oriented

Open and People Oriented

Indi

rect

and

Slo

wer

Pac

edD

irect and Faster Paced

Natural Strengths - structured, accurate, systematic

Motivation - Work

Challenge - Perfectionism

Natural Strengths - decisive action, goal-oriented

Motivation - Power

Challenge - Hard Headed

Natural Strengths - easy-going, patient, good listener

Motivation - Relationships

Challenge - Overthinking

Natural Strengths - fun-loving and optimistic

Motivation - Fun

Challenge - Optimism

Adapted from”LeadingFrom Your Strengths Profile – Ministry Insights.” Ministry Insights.Web 23 Dec.2014

BeforeWorstCase“Tomorrow”Temptation:ProcrastinateVaccine:Start

MiddleThiswillneverwork“Uncertainty”ItissuchalongwayTemptation:QuitVaccine:Move

EndDoubtItisn’t“perfect”Temptation:NeverCelebrateVaccine:Reviewgoals,turnin,Celebrate

OVERCOMING RESISTANCE

NEXT STEP

▸ Email Follow-up

▸ RefreshChi to 44222

▸ Sign-up sheet

▸ www.projectpatch.org/RefreshChi

▸ chuck@projectpatch.org