Post on 24-Feb-2016
description
Managing Conflict(Constructively)
Dan ClarkDirector
Montana State University Local Government Center
May 2011
www.dispair.com
Human Continuum
Strongly Agree Strongly Disagree
• Dogs are the best animal companions• Women are better drivers then men• U.S. gun laws are too strict• Drug pushers should be executed• Conflict is a natural condition of being alive
Consider, based on your experiences, how conflict can
function in negative ways?
. . . . positive ways?
How did conflict ultimately result in something good?
• Describe a conflict that turned out negatively
• Describe a conflict that turned out positively
Discuss the following
Conflict itself is normal. It is what we do during conflicts that makes it beneficial or harmful.
www.dispair.com
Conflict is inevitable,But combat is optional
~ Max Lucado
www.dispair.com
Adapted from materials developed by Dr. Steve Daniels, USU Extension
My favorite simple conflict definition:
Perceived goal interference among interdependent parties.
Why I like this definition so much…
• Understand the goal interference….• Understand the accuracy of perceptions….• Understand the nature of the
interdependence, and ….• You have gone a long way in
understanding the situation.
What happens when conflicts are not managed well?
• In a work group • To the individual
Sources of Conflict
Emotions
Process
Information
Substance
Values
Style
If Conflict keeps coming back…You are in the wrong circle!
Information: data, misinformation, not enough information, withholding information
Emotion: feelings, ego, self-esteem, interferes with reason and listening
Values: deeply rooted beliefs, religion, politics, ethics
Process (Relationships): who has authority, are we peers, how are decisions made
Style: communication style, group versus individual, directive vs. collaborative, in person vs. electronically, structure vs. fluidity
Substance: scarce resources, money, time, space, equipment
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Conflict Strategies
High
Low
Concern for Self
HighLow Concern for Other
Competition Collaboration
AccommodationAvoidance
Compromise
Conflict Strategies
• Avoider• Accommodator• Compromiser• Competitor• Collaborator
What’s Your Style?
• What are the problems with relying on one style?
• What is the right strategic approach to this problem?
• Intention versus by accident!
Managing Conflict
Explore the Problem(s) one at a
time* Ask open-ended questions* Use “I” messages* Restate* Enforce Rules
Find Solutions and Make Agreements
* Ask the other person for solutions* Give your solutions*Brainstorm* Pick the best alternative to implement
Define the Problem* Ask the other person what the problem is* Restate* Say what you think the problem is* Establish ground rules
CRU Institute 2005
Conflict as Opportunity• Good governance requires tension• Conflict leads to better decisions• Shift to a Learning Stance• Stop arguing about who is right• Stop blaming and judging• Separate the person from the problem• Explore each others stories• Move from certainty to curiosity
Effective Listening Exercise
• Pair up with someone• Shorter of the two speaks first• Talk for 2 minutes about any topic you
chose• Listener must listen – no questions, no
response• On my signal, switch
Our Default Conflict Management Styles
• Teapot - Passive aggressive. You take it until you explode. Pretty common
• Schemer - Back channel communication• Creampuff - Over accommodative• SNAEP - Sensitive New Age Extension
Professional
Develop a Personal “Roadmap” for Improvement
• We can all improve our conflict management behaviors.
• What each person needs is unique to them, and changes over time and setting.
Fundamental Techniques
1. Establish Ground Rules--negotiate procedures
2. Propose a “learning” perspective.--don’t jump to solution
3. Make trust overt.--earn it, don’t assume it
4. Share information--model interest disclosing
Thank you!
Questions?Comments?
Dan Clark, daniel.clark@montana.eduMSU Local Government Center406-994-6694www.msulocalgov.org