L.I. To extend sentences within a paragraph.Success Criteria:

I use adjectives (describing words) in my sentences; I use adverbs (how words) in my sentences; I use complex sentences;my sentences start in different ways;I use simple sentences; I use compound sentences; I use extended noun phrases; I use similes; I use metaphors; I let the reader know when, where, how, what and why.

They entered the park.

The four excited adults and two children entered the tropical rainforest.

Bleating in the rain, they watched and waited for the tyrannosaurus rex.

bleating in the rain they watched

they waited for the T Rex

This suggests the people were bleating!

subordinate clause (needs a main clause to make sense)

main clauses

The soggy goat stood bleating in the torrential rainstorm as the rain pounded down on the solid ground.

the soggy goat stood bleating in the torrential rainstorm

as the rain pounded down on the solid ground

subordinate clause (needs a main clause to make sense)

main clause subordinate clause

Every clause has a single verb...

...the dinosaur roared fiercely... ...as the fence came tumbling down...

subordinate clause (doesn't makesense on its own)main clause

(makessense on its own)

A subordinate clause needs a main clause to make sense...

A main clause makes sense on its own...

WhenThe time dragged on, the seconds ticking by at a snail’s pace.Seconds seemed like hours. Would the waiting never end?

WhoHe always did this. “Why couldn’t he just grow up?” she thought, as Tommy played with the expensive goggles.

WhatMotionless and silent, the car stood where it had stalled, the hum of electricity cut off as the as the storm had broken.

HowRestlessly, moodily, boredom, waiting, with a sense of tedium.

WhyWhat had promised to be the tour of a lifetime had turned into a tedious wait. Little did they know that things were about to get a lot more interesting… and worse!

WhereOutside the paddock in the pouring rain.In the shadow of the T-rex fence that towered over the cars.

Think about...

Who?

What?

When?

Where?

How?

Why?

Success Criteria:New success criteria...I can show 'who' using different names and phrases;I show 'who' by writing about behaviour and feelings;I use adjectives to describe places and objects as well as people;I explain 'why' things happened so my narrative makes sense;I show 'how' by using adverbs and phrases;I keep track of time in my narrative;I make the 'when' an interesting part of my narrative.

Keep the old ones going!...I use adverbs and adjectives;I use connectives;I try and use similes and metaphorsI use a variety of sentence openings and sentence types.

Who?

What? When?

Where?

How?Why?

Who?Back

"Do not panic. The fence is tall and we are safe. Nothing can get past those tall electric fences... no way... no way!"

(Charlotte - also shows 'What' and 'Why')

What?Back

The water in the cups rippled as another thud nearly burst their ear drums!

(Connor - also shows how)

Everyone's attention was on the cup, but Amber turned her head, only to find the goat was gone and the chain just swung in the wind, the trees blowing from side to side.

(Ritchie - also show a bit of 'who', 'where' and 'how').

Where?Back

The powerful thump in the background caught Tommy's attention as he scrambled to the front seat nervously and anxiously.

(Jay - also shows who, what and how)

When?Back

As time passed by all Tommy could focus on were the ripples inside the see-through cup, wobbling side to side.

(Lara - also shows what and how.)

How?Back

Why?Back

lawyer, children, scientist, explorers, victims, tourists, prey, predator

broken down, stranded, stuck, trapped, hunted, lost, abandoned

Jurassic Park, tropical, jungle, forest, track, clearing, paddock, enclosure, theme park, fence, perimeter, electric fence

afterwards, immediately, as time passed by, seconds ticked away, as soon as, in the blink of an eye, as quick as a wink, in a flash, like lightning

with a sense of terror, with a sinking feeling, with the sudden realisation that..., silently, cautiously, nervously

once the power had gone down everything had..., with the power off...

Success Criteria:New success criteria...I can show 'who' using different names and phrases;I show 'who' by writing about behaviour and feelings;I use adjectives to describe places and objects as well as people;I explain 'why' things happened so my narrative makes sense;I show 'how' by using adverbs and phrases;I keep track of time in my narrative;I make the 'when' an interesting part of my narrative.

Keep the old ones going!...I use adverbs and adjectives;I use connectives;I try and use similes and metaphorsI use a variety of sentence openings and sentence types.

The goat was missing. Amber screamed. Two claws appeared. The power had been cut off.

The lawyer fled. The tyrannosaur broke through. The tyrannosaur roared.

Examples of extension and development:

Amber screamed.

Fear clenched her heart, her jaw dropping as she let out a terrified scream.

describe the scream

The sense of tension that had been building broke into sudden and immediate horror. Amber screamed, emptying her lungs, the sound filling the car.

give some

background

All through the evening, through the long and tedious wait, Amber had kept her anxiety bottled inside. She knew she had to be the mature one, the sensible one. Now she was just a child, a small girl frightened in the dark.

develop a ch

aracte

r