Kidsave Kidsave Support Session Support Session

Week 2Week 2

Check-In

2012

• Routine and Expectations- How has the child adjusted to life in the U.S.?- Has it been difficult for him/her to adapt to

the routine and expectations of your family?

• Communication

- - Have you found it difficult to communicate with the child during the visit?

• Limit Setting- Is the child adhering to set limits or is he/she still having

difficulty in this area?

• Behavioral Challenges

- Is the child still exhibiting previously

discussed behavior challenges?

- Has the child developed new behavior

challenges?

- As the departure date nears

the child may begin to exhibit

new behavior challenges as

he/she begins to process saying

goodbye

• Food -Has the child developed appropriate

regard towards food or is he/she still

struggling with this

• Camp

- Has your host child adjusted to camp?

- If he/she has completed camp, how

was the transition?

• Fears/Difficulty Transitioning/Separation Anxiety

-Has the child developed any new fears

during his/her stay?-Are these fears a concern?

-Is the child able to transition between

activities?

- As the visit comes to an end,

the child may have greater

difficulty transitioning

- Has the child exerted independence or is he/she still anxious about separation?

• Managing the Kidsave Schedule- Do you feel the advocacy events positively

benefited the child?•Managing Fatigue

- Do you notice the child

getting fatigued by the current schedule?

- As the visit comes to an end,

give the child adequate time to

say goodbye to new friends

- Avoid over-scheduling in the last couple of days;

this may cause fatigue and make the transition

more difficult for the child

• “Sharing” your host Child

- Even if you are planning to adopt, you still need to let the child interact with other families

- In the last couple of days, you may want to spend as much time with your host child as you can-rememberother families may be feeling the same way

• Dealing with your feelings

- Other families are interested, but you want

to adopt - As the trip comes to a

close and you are unsure if the child has a potential adoptive family •

• Put the child’s best interest first

- As the trip comes to a close, several families may be interested in visiting, try to space these visits to avoid stress and fatigue

- If the child appears uncomfortable with a specific

advocacy activity or technique, adjust accordingly

• Managing visits from interested families

- Make the visits comfortable - have them in a location

that is familiar to the child

- introduce the interested family as friends

- Be prepared to engage the visiting family and the child

- Ensure that families know not to make any promises to the child

• Keep your CommunityCoordinator and Kidsave

informed!

• You don’t get to make the decision regarding the

family- Your ideas about

what family is best for the the child may differ from what the child’s social worker and

ICBF think

• Talking about adoption-As a potential adopter or an advocate speaking with families, need to consider:

-Time-Financial Commitment-Child’s needs

- Has he/she expressed a desire for a specific type of family?

- Will your community be able to meet the child’s needs?

- Other Family Members

• Fielding Questions about adoption

- If you are a potential adopter

- If you are an advocate and are asked “Why

are you not adopting?” - NOTE: If you are unsure of the answer to any adoption related question do not hesitate to refer the interested individual the community coordinators

• Deciding to Adopt-As a potential adopter: take the two weeks after the child leaves to decompress and discuss the decision as a family-As an advocate: encourage families to take time

- Remind them that there is no “Holding” of children and there is no rush to commit

•

• Shifting from “prospective adopter”to “advocate” - Remember: not every family is the

right fit for every child - Be prepared to get

questions about the decision from close

friends and family who may have known your original intentions

- Consider what type of family would be best for

the child and begin advocating in those circles

• Behaviors you might be seeing• Kids disengaging• Sadness• Difficulty sleeping• Not following

direction/house rules or routines

• Dealing with Grief and Loss - Recognize that grief after

is a natural emotion and allow yourself time to process these feelings

- Think of ways (writing in a journal, praying, etc.) that you can use to help cope with the loss

-Realize that the child may be grieving as well

• Letting the emotional “dust” settle

- Give yourself time to return to your routine before making any decisions about adoption

• Dealing with ambivalence-The child may seem ambivalent about returning- Don’t take this personally, the child may be using this ambivalence to avoid feelings of loss

• Don’t Promise!- As the child prepares to leave, you may want to make future promises to help put the child at ease, but this can be detrimental as we never know what may happen when the child returns

• Future Contact

• What is in the best interest of the child? - Will contact help the child

feel connected or hinder their adjustment/ acceptance of a new family?

• Sponsoring a child

• What they can bring back to Colombia with them

•  Meeting place at the airport:• Please designate a meeting place

at the airport and plan to arrive a minimum of 2 hours (3 hours recommended) before departure.

• Host families should assist in keeping their host child in

line for check in along with their ONE bag to check.

• Only host families, Kidsave staff/translators, and

volunteers should be at the airport to say goodbye to the children unless authorized by the chaperone.

Preparation for flight back to Colombia:

All kids must wear their SM t-shirts on the plane home. NO

EXCEPTIONS! All bags will be checked.

Families can purchase a carry on-sized suitcase for their child/ren (for manageability)• Each child’s bag should have a yellow ribbon tied somewhere easily visible

Preparation for flight back to Colombia:

Families must attach a label on the bag with child’s name and the Kidsave office address in Bogota.

Children should carry a backpack that they can comfortably carry (only one!). Items to include in backpack:

•Photo Album, sweater, snacks, favorite toy

A Variety of Emotions• We may see tears• We may see excitement

about returning to all that is familiar

• We may see withdrawal – kids unable to say goodbye

Host families moving forward to adopt can submit a Request for Ongoing Communication

Host families whose child does not have a family pursuing adoption can submit a Request for Ongoing Communication

Host families whose child has a prospective adoptive family CANNOT have ongoing communication

•Families wishing to adopt must let their coordinator know after the two week period and the coordinator must inform Kidsave director.

•After the two week period families can submit a Letter of Intent to the Instituto Colombiano de Bienestar Familiar (ICBF)

•Letters of Intent must be submitted to ICBF in Spanish – the Spanish and English versions must be submitted to Delta Kirkland at Kidsave at deltak@kidsave.org.

•Send a signed hard copy of the Spanish version of your Letter of Intent to Dra Ilvia Ruth Cardenas via Federal Express or DHL (see address on Letter of Intent).

•ICBF maintains that it is not in the best interest of the children to tell them before they leave that they are going to be adopted and they are adamant about this. This is to protect the children.•Why it is NOT in the best interest of the children to be told that there is a family wanting to adopt them:

•Not all kids will leave with a potential adoptive family•There is no guarantee that those moving forward will adopt•We don’t want to get the kids hopes up•Children need time to process and discuss with their psychosocial teams their visit and future plans.

•Families must continue to reinforce with their host child that they have enjoyed getting to know them and have really enjoyed the summer visit.

• Suggestions for Kidsave

•Concerns about your family, your child, the program

• Q & A