FRIENDLY NOT FRIENDS

Kama Oyeshiku-King & Karen Gibbs-Love

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Kama Oyeshiku-King, MSG

Kama has been in the field of gerontology for over 30 years. Studying at Hampton

University and the University of Southern California, Kama has dedicated her life and

profession to helping seniors and advocating on behalf of this population. Kama has

worked in various fields in Gerontology including positions at the Alzheimer’s

Association, SCAN Health Plan, City of Los Angeles Department of Aging, and

BrownRichards & Associates EAP. She has also worked as a Service Coordinator

(including supervisor and grant writing) for the last 15 years. Kama was a member of

the 2016 AASC Conference planning committee. She is a member of AASC and

Leading AGE Georgia.

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Karen Gibbs-Love, MSG

Karen is a Resident Wellness Director at Western Seniors Housing Management in

Southern California. She has been in the field of Aging for over 20 years, studying at

the University of Detroit Mercy and later at California State University Fullerton.

Karen has worked in Senior Housing as a Service Coordinator for over 10 years,

gaining a profound appreciation for the wide range of obstacles and opportunities

awaiting most seniors. She has focused on developing practical approaches to

empower seniors in the areas of self-determination, education, health, and wellness.

Karen was co-presenter at the AASC Conference in Dallas, TX in 2014 and is a

member of both AASC and Leading Age California.

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Kama Oyeshiku-King, MSG

Kama-C. Oyeshiku-King

Service Coordinator

Briarcliff Oaks

2982 Briarcliff Road, NE

Atlanta, GA 30329

404-634-3263 (phone)

404-634-1133 (fax)

Kama.oyeshiku-king@briarcliffoaks.org

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Karen Gibbs-Love, MSG

Resident Wellness Director

Our Lady of Guadalupe

17103 Magnolia Street

Fountain, Valley, CA 92708

714-843-6338 (phone)

714-848-8643 (fax)

klove@wshmgmt.com

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Learning Objectives

Tools to assist you in being

friendly and not friends with your

residents.

Understand how to provide help

without crossing boundaries.

Knowing your company’s polices.

What to do when you cross into

the “friend zone.”

How to treat each resident in a

fair and friendly manner.

How to build trust with your

residents.

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Is it okay to hug and or kiss our residents?

Can this be misconstrued the wrong way?

What does this have to do with being friendly not friends?

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Friendly not Friends can be a hard concept to grasp.

We want to be friendly to our residents.

Being friendly is easy. Can be misinterpreted as a

true friendship.

Being friends with residents can be a recipe for

disaster!

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The upside of friendly not friends.

It makes our job easier by setting boundaries.

We can serve our residents in a more fair and

honest way.

Our residents are clear on what we can and will do

to assist them.

The professional relationship remains professional.

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The downside of friends not friendly.

It can blur the lines in our daily tasks.

It can show favoritism to the residents we serve.

They will think they deserve to be treated

“special.”

The professional relationship becomes more casual.

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How do we set boundaries with the population we serve?

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Setting Boundaries … 101

Learn how to say “no” in a clear

and concise way.

Make sure you address residents

in a professional way. (Mr., Ms.,

or Mrs., unless asked otherwise).

Make a conscious decision to

treat each resident in a fair

manner.

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Can I be friends with

residents and have

boundaries at the same

time?

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Have these situations happened to you?

Can I have a ride?

Can I borrow a few dollars?

Can I use your phone (personal) to call my relative?

Please take these few dollars… I know you need them for_____?

The other staff did it, why can’t you?

I won’t tell anyone… just remember me next time_____?

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“I friended you…”

How do you deal with residents on social media wanting to “friend” you? Is it ever OK?

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Have you gone too far…?

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Do you need to reel it back in?

Ask yourself this..

When did I cross the

line?

How did this happen?

Will other

residents/staff notice?

How can I pull back?

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WHAT DO YOU THINK?

CAN BEING FAIR,

FRIENDLY,

AND FRIENDS CO-EXIST?

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Can you build trust with your residents without being friends?

https://bcimedia.com/wp-

content/uploads/2016/02/consistency-Trust-

Stock-Image-2.29.2016.jpg

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How can we be friendly to those who speak another language?

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If all else fails… check your employee handbook and HUD guidelines!

What are your

companies

polices on

boundaries ?

What are the

HUD

guidelines?

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Reference & Resources

www.parsonsgroupinc.com (Can

caregivers be friends with residents?)

www.medscape.com (Why you can’t be

friends with your patients)

www.willowtreecounselling.ca (Why

your counselor is not your friend)

www.psychologytoday.com Tips to

create healthy boundaries)

AASC Program Manual for

Service Coordinators: Section 2:

Safety, Self Care and Risk

Avoidance for SC’s & Gifts

Offered From Residents.

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QUESTIONS & DISCUSSION

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