Jane Schaffer Writing for Beginners

The Prompt

Before writing anything a student must know the assignment - clearly read the PROMPT.

Typical prompts ask students to… Respond to Literature Discuss what was learned in relation to a

specific topic - expository Persuade - Convince a reader to

believe/support a certain way of thinking

Get Ready to Color Your World!

THE BUILDING BLOCK OF WRITING -

How to write an effective paragraph

Materials: When we write using the Schaffer model we use blue, black, red and green pens.

Blue is for Topic Sentences (TS)

Red is for Concrete Details (CD)

Green is for Commentary Sentences (CM)

Black is for Concluding Sentences (CS)

Step 1 - The Topic SentenceThe Topic Sentence (TS) is the top bun of the

hamburger

The topic sentence is the first sentence of the paragraph.

It proclaims the main idea and contains an opinion/reasons. Usually a mildly controversial statement- something that you have to prove. It can be as brief as three words.

Example Topic Sentence TS

In the fairy tale “The Three Little Pigs,” the third pig was

very wise.

Step 2 - Concrete Details (CD) Concrete Details (CD) are the meat of the hamburger

CDs = Support for your TS. (facts, quotes, statistics, examples, paraphrases etc. from the text or research.

CDs can’t be argued with - a CD is evidence that supports your point

CDs can be direct quotes or paraphrased information CDs include the “stuff from the story, reading, article,

etc.”

Example Concrete Detail (CD)

For example, he remembered his mother’s warning about a wolf, and built his house out of sturdy

brick.

Step 3: CommentaryCommentary Sentences (CM) are the hamburger’s “extras” - the tomato, cheese, lettuce, pickle - they make it delicious!

CMs = your analysis, interpretation, inferences, opinion, explanation or insight.

CMs = the “so what?”

CMs = the stuff from your head

Example Commentary Sentences(2 CMs)

The frustrated wolf gave up extremely easily after a half-hearted attempt to blow down the sturdy and intimidating brick house. This shows that the third pig was much

more intelligent than his brothers, who were devoured by the wolf.

Step 4: Concluding SentenceA Concluding Sentence (CS) is the bottom bun of

the hamburger

A CS wraps up the paragraph. It brings the reader back to the original topic without repeating the same words or

summarizing.

Example Concluding Sentence (CS)

The third pig of the legendary fable outsmarts not only his

brothers but the “big, bad” wolf as well.

In the fairy tale “The Three Little Pigs,” the third pig was very wise. For example, he remembered his mother’s warning about a wolf and built his house out of sturdy brick. The frustrated wolf gave up extremely easily after a half-hearted attempt to blow down the sturdy and intimidating brick house. This shows that the third pig was much more intelligent than his brothers, who were devoured by the wolf. The third pig of the legendary fable outsmarts not only his brothers but the “big bad” wolf as well.

Putting it all together!

That was a one chunk paragraph!What is a chunk?

A combination of CDs and CMs is called a chunk. A chunk is made up

of 3 sentences. In the sample we created the stuff “between the buns” makes up the chunk. It includes the meat (red) and the extras (green).

A chunk can include different ratios of CD to CM depending on the mode of writing

The ratio is the amount of CD:CM in a body paragraph.

The typical English class ratio is 1:2 for response to literature and 2:1 for persuasive or expository writing.

A typical history ratio might be 2:1 A typical Math/Science ratio is 3:0 or 2:1

1-Chunk Body or Stand Alone Paragraph Assessment EXCELLENT: 4 Engaging and clear topic sentence (topic + opinion with

engaging word choice) Specific and relevant concrete detail #1(fact/example/

“stuff from the story”) Insightful commentary (goes beyond the obvious to

make a point/explain thoughts/feelings) [minimum of 2 CM for 1 CD]

Powerful concluding sentence that communicates a lesson/message/challenge (no repetition)

ENGLISH DEPARTMENT RUBRIC FOR 1 CHUNK PARAGRAPH WITH A 1:2 RATIO - SCORE OF 4

(located on share drive)

As Student Writing becomes more sophisticated what

happens?Students move from a one chunk to a two chunk paragraph Students begin weaving

What is a two chunk paragraph?A two chunk paragraph is an extension of the one

chunk paragraph. The student simply adds another burger and more condiments. It looks like

this…TS

CD

CM

CM

CD

CM

CM

CS

Chunk #1

Chunk #2

2-Chunk Body or Stand Alone Paragraph AssessmentEXCELLENT: 4 Engaging and clear topic sentence (topic + opinion with engaging

word choice) Specific and relevant concrete detail #1(fact/example/ “stuff from the

story”) Insightful commentary for CD #1 (goes beyond the obvious to make a

point/explain thoughts/feelings) [minimum of 2 CM for 1 CD] Specific and relevant concrete detail #2 (fact/example/ “stuff from the

story”) Insightful commentary for CD #2 (goes beyond the obvious to make a

point/explain thoughts/feelings) [minimum of 2 CM for 1 CD] Powerful concluding sentence that communicates a

lesson/message/challenge(no repetition)

ENGLISH DEPARTMENT RUBRIC FOR 2 CHUNK PARAGRAPH WITH A 1:2 RATIO -

SCORE OF 4 (located on share drive)

But isn’t this all a little formulaic?

Yes, it is very formulaic. It provides students the framework for communicating their thoughts through writing. For many students this is a necessity.

The reason we selected Jane Schaffer is that the ultimate goal of the writing program is to move students who have mastered the formula toward a more sophisticated style called weaving.

What is Weaving?Weaving is the goal of all writers. It

describes the ability to weave together CDs and CMs while effectively communicating

ideas through writing. Writers that effectively weave are aware of expected

ratios/balance AND can seamlessly put them together in their writing. As a teacher it is important that you recognize students who effectively weave and allow them to do so.

Are our students weaving?Some are….most aren’t. Why?

Many of our 9th students haven’t received specific feedback about their writing (via rubric etc.)

Many of our 9th and 10th grade students are very good at summarizing CD, but STRUGGLE with CM

Teachers have different expectations which is a source of frustration for students - we don’t speak the

same language.Students have trouble with organization - their

writing wanders. We ask them to master the structure before allowing them to leave it.

Students who are weaving should know it! You can ask them, in English class are you weaving?