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InterpersonalInterpersonal

Self-Disclosure Self-Disclosure and Feedbackand Feedback

Self-Disclosure Self-Disclosure and Feedbackand Feedback

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Self-disclosureSelf-disclosure

Sharing biographical data, personal ideas and feelings that are unknown to the other person

FeedbackFeedback

Verbal and physical responses to people and/or their messages

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Appropriate Self-disclosureAppropriate Self-disclosure• Self-disclose the kind of information you want

others to disclose to you.• Self-disclose more intimate information only

when you believe the disclosure represents an acceptable risk.

• Move self-disclosure to deeper levels gradually.

• Reserve intimate or very personal self-disclosure for ongoing relationships.

• Continue intimate self-disclosure only if it is reciprocated.

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Reciprocalself-disclosure

has the greatestpositive effects.

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Women tend to engage in “rapport talk” to share experiences and establish bonds.

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Men tend to engage in “report talk” to share information, negotiate, and preserve independence.

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Masking Masking FeelingsFeelings

Concealing verbal or nonverbal cues that would enable others to understand how a person is feeling

Displaying Displaying FeelingsFeelings

Expressing feelings through facial reactions, body responses, or paralinguistic reactions

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Describing FeelingsDescribing Feelings• Describing feelings is the skill of

naming the emotions you are feeling without judging them

• Increases the likelihood of having a positive interaction and decreases the chances of creating defensiveness

• BUT…many people don’t describe their feelings regularly. Why?

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Why Don’t We Describe Why Don’t We Describe Feelings?Feelings?

• People believe that when they say “I feel” they are evaluating others.

• No active vocabulary for describing feelings• Afraid that describing feelings makes you

vulnerable• Afraid that if you describe your feelings you

will be judged• Afraid to harm relationship• Some cultures encourage members to mask

their feelings

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Personal FeedbackPersonal Feedback

Praise Highlights

positive

behaviors and

accomplishments

Constructive

Criticism Identifies

negative

harmful

behaviors

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Giving Constructive Giving Constructive CriticismCriticism

• Describe the behavior by accurately recounting precisely what was said or done, without labeling the behavior good or bad, right or wrong.

• Preface a negative statement with a positive one whenever possible.

• Be as specific as possible.• When appropriate, suggest how the

person can change the behavior.

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Asking for CriticismAsking for Criticism

• Think of criticism as being in your best

interest.

• Before you ask, make sure that you are

ready for an honest response.

• If you take the initiative to ask for

criticism, you will avoid surprises.

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Guidelines to Improve Guidelines to Improve FeedbackFeedback

• Specify the kind of criticism you are seeking.

• Try to avoid negative verbal or nonverbal reactions to the criticism.

• Paraphrase what you hear.

• Give reinforcement to those who take your requests for criticism as honest requests.

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Describe how a person can knowthat trusting another person with confidential information is appropriate?

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