Example Essay Thesis Statements: Tips and Examples

1) Each example essay thesis should contain a plural subject of which you can give

examples.

WRONG: I like the raw energy and irreverent lyrics of 70s punk rock bands.

RIGHT: Punk rock bands from the 70s can be characterized for their raw energy and irreverent lyrics.

2) Examples are not classifications; the examples you will give do not exhaust every

member of the set on which you are commenting.

WRONG: There are three high schools where I live, and all of them have excellent

sports programs. (If you give examples of all three football programs,

they are not examples. You are telling about all of them.)

RIGHT: Many of the high schools where I live have excellent sports programs.

3) Examples are not the same as reasons; your thesis should not contain becauseclauses.

WRONG: My local public library needs better funding because the computers are

out of date and the books are damaged.

RIGHT: There are many problems at my local public library that could be resolved

by better funding.

4) Examples are not comparisons; you should not be making a comparison in your example

essay thesis.

WRONG: Kennedys Karne has the best carne asada in the Imperial Valley.

RIGHT: There are several great places to find great carne asada in the Imperial

Valley.