WRITING WORKSHOP

E-HEALTH SASKATCHEWAN

05 DECEMBER 2016AGENDA

• Introduction

• Just A Minute exercise

• The structure of a good story

• Text analysis

• Vernacular eloquence

THESIS

• Storytelling is the key to getting your message across

• You need a narrative structure for your

• writing

• presentations

• conversations

THE HIDDEN AGENDA:IF YOU’RE NOT TELLING A

STORY…YOU’RE NOT DOING

ANYTHING.

”

“

SUCCESSFUL POLITICIANS

UNDERSTAND THIS PERFECTLY.

NATIONAL POST27 SEPT. 2016

WE SPEND A LOT OF TIME IN GOVERNMENT

• speaking to people who are not listening

• writing reports that never get read• failing to engage people.

“Stories are the most powerful delivery tool for information.The best way to unite an idea with an emotion is by telling a

story.”

JUST A MINUTE EXERCISE

DIVIDE INTO GROUPS OF 3 OR 4

PICK A STORYTELLER

JUST A MINUTE EXERCISEHELP YOUR STORYTELLER…

• Craft their story.

• What’s interesting

• What’s not.

JUST A MINUTETHE GOAL

• Speak for one minute:

• No hesitation• No repetition• No deviation

WHEN YOU’RE READY,

COME TO THE FRONT OF THE

ROOM.

YOUR STORIES…ONE MINUTE.

POST JUST A MINUTESOME QUESTIONS

• How did you pick a storyteller?

• Are some better than others at storytelling?

• Why?

• How did you organize your story?

IAN, WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO

WITH MY JOB?

THE INFORMATION EDITING SKILLS YOU NEED…

• allow you to get your point across;

• These skills should be highly valued in complex organizations;

• Without a narrative, no one will hear you.

— Alex Frankel, Guardian, 27 November 2016

YOUR POLICY IS ONLY AS GOOD AS THE NARRATIVE

OR PUBLIC DISCOURSE YOU HAVE HUNG IT ON.

”

“

Nancy Duarte—Resonate.• Every story needs a big idea;• A unique point of view, rather than generalizations;• Convey what’s at stake;• Make people care about your perspective.

pg. 78

Point of view versus topic

• Governments write about topics;• People write with a point-of-view;• One builds a story, one doesn’t

The fate of the oceans isa topic.

Climate change is killingsea otters expresses a point of view.

— Nancy Duarte, Resonate.

YOU CAN HAVE PILES OF FACTS AND STILL FAIL TO

RESONATE.

”

“

THE STRUCTURE OF EFFECTIVE

STORIES

Derick Heathcoat-Amory

• Britain’s Chancellor the Exchequer, 1958 - 1960• 1st Viscount Amory KG, GCMG

KG

KCMG

Operation Market Garden.

• Amory was wounded and captured in the battle• September 1944• Largest airborne military operation to that point.

39,620 troops delivered by air

• 21,074 via parachute• 18,546 by glider

WHAT AM I DOING WHEN TELLING A STORY..

I’M THINKING ABOUT THE AUDIENCE…

• Who are they ?

• What do they need ?

• What context is needed ?

• How do I order my choices ?

— John McPhee, New Yorker, September 14, 2015.

WRITING IS SELECTION.

”

“

“You select what goes in and you decide what stays out. At base you have only one criterion; If something interests you, it goes in—if not, it stays out.”

HYPOTHETICALLY, THE FOUNTAIN IS FALLING APART.

• What story do I want to tell ?

• This symbol of our heritage must be saved !

• This symbol of colonialist oppression must go !

WHAT SHOULD WE DO ABOUT THE FOUNTAIN

• Is it worth saving?

• Should money be spent instead on a different monument?

• What information do you need to make a good decision?

TRY TO ANTICIPATE RESPONSES TO YOUR STORY.LANGUAGE AND STORIES ARE ABOUT

POWER.• “I’d like to thank the province for getting rid of that

fountain”.

• “Thanks for once again dumping our heritage”.

ARE INEXTRICABLY LINKEDLANGUAGE AND POWER

• Information drives action

• Action has to be explained

• The end result of a decision, inevitably, is the exercise of power.

• The end result of that intersection is story.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said…

…people will forget what you did.

…but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

How do you feel after reading most government documents ?

STYLE AND STRUCTURE

Subordinating Style

• Components linked by relationship of:

CAUSALITYTEMPORALITYPRECEDENCE

CAUSALITY: ONE THING CAUSES

ANOTHER

TEMPORALITY:ONE THING HAPPENS BEFORE ANOTHER.

PRECEDENCE:ONE THING IS MORE

IMPORTANT THAN THE OTHER.

Time for a shiftTemporal

CausalPrecedence

POSITIONING STATEMENT EXERCISE

REPORT BACK IN 15 MINUTES

TEXT ANALYSIS

Text analysis

• Why some stories are better than others.

two scores

• Flesch-Kincaid Read Ease score (1 - 100)• North American Grade Level

Reading Ease score

NOT-SO-GOODSCORE

FOR SASKATCHEWAN’S PUBLIC SERVICENEW TARGETS

• A Flesch-Kincaid readability score of 50 or greater;

• A grade level between 6-8;• 12 to 15 words per sentence.

“IAN, GRADE 6 LEVEL IS HARD TO ACHIEVE,

WITHOUT DUMBING DOWN THE CONTENT

”

“

MORE THAN 40% OF NORTH AMERICANS HAVE ONLY BASIC LITERACY SKILLS.

SIMPLE IS NOT EASY,

IT CAN BE ELEGANT.

B. ObamaM. Obama

H. ClintonD. Trump

0

22.5

45

67.5

90

Readability ScoresMajor Convention Speeches

July, 2016

B. ObamaM. Obama

H. ClintonD. Trump

0

2.25

4.5

6.75

9

Grade LevelMajor Convention Speeches

July, 2016

USING READABILITY SCORES TO IMPROVE

WRITING.

Sasktel 2014 Annual Report.

• Pg. 6• Let’s re-write it.

WORKING IN GROUPS, TAKE 20 MINUTES

• Can you do better?

MY ATTEMPT

THE USE OF NUMBERS IN

STORIES

NUMBERS NEED CONTEXTSTORIES SOMETIMES NEED NUMBERS

• Always• be• comparing

THIS IS A STORY.

The US Federal Air Marshal Service spend $800 million annually.

That $800 million represents

• 40% of what the US Secret Service spends;• 10% of what the FBI spends annually.

Know the difference between numbers and

stories.

• Only 5% of US flights have an Air Marshal;• Since 9/11, there have been no hijackings;• There have been more arrests of Air Marshals• than by Air Marshals since 9/11.

Here’s some other stories…

From the abstract to the concrete.

The whole tendency of modern proseis away from concreteness.

George OrwellPolitics and the English Language

1946

Concrete narratives use superlatives to move

the story along.

fastest, newest, oldest, strongest,first-ever.

use of metaphor make writing concrete

VERNACULAR ELOQUENCE

“If we read every sentence aloud carefully…and if we then fiddle and adjust

our words until they feel right in the mouth and sound right in the ear, the resulting sentence will be strong and

clear.”

–Prof. Peter Elbow

Questions

• Do you write multiple drafts ?• Do you read them out loud to someone else ?

“If we read every sentence aloud carefully…and if we then fiddle and adjust

our words until they feel right in the mouth and sound right in the ear, the resulting sentence will be strong and

clear.”

PARTING THOUGHTS.

In your documents/presentations….• convey a big idea;• covey what’s at stake;• Convince me I should care.

Exhibit a clarity of intent

• What problem am I trying to solve;• What does ‘good’ look like;• How will I know when I get there ?

Rejected opportunity cost

• What happens if I do nothing ?

An audience transformed

• The highest goal;• Now that I’ve read this, I know this;• Now, I have to do something.

A PRESENTATION

TEMPLATE.

We had a big idea• It’s important because—• This idea came from—• We talked to these people, and they said—

Here’s how our big idea changed

• We were surprised to discover—• New information created these new insights—• Here’s why these insights are valuable—

The value proposition

• Our big idea will improve a process/save money/• make life better for people in the following ways—

Rejected opportunity cost

• If we do nothing, here are the consequences—• Here’s what they are doing on other jurisdictions—

Now that you now all this

• You must—

questions