Harnessing the Power of Kindness and

Gratitude to Build Better Relationships at Work and in Your Personal Life

BY DAVID SECKMAN

Stumbling on Happiness

Money, Power and Prestige don’t make us happy

Relationships and Experiences make us happy

The Hedonic Treadmill

Kindness and Gratitude Help Break

Through The Happiness Set-point

Kindness and Gratitude

Break Through the Happiness Set-Point and Step off

the Hedonic Treadmill

Keys to creating dynamic teams, stronger relationships, and outstanding customer loyalty.

The Science Of Gratitude

Over 75 research studies have been done on

Gratitude and growing all the time

At least 31 benefits attributed to Gratitude

The Science Of Gratitude

Benefits of Gratitude Include: More progress

towards your personal goals, less symptoms of

illness and depression, more energy, and better

sleep.

Gratitude and FMRI Technology

Regions of the brain associated with empathy,

compassion, and happiness

Feeling the emotion of gratitude also releases

Dopamine to the brain.

The Science of Kindness

Kindness can be learned

Kindness is Contagious

Kindness increases Energy,The Love Hormone, Happiness,

Lifespan, Pleasure

The Science of Kindness

Kindness Decreases: Pain, Stress, Anxiety,

Depression and Blood Pressure.

What is Kind Communication?

Kind Communication focusses on strengths.

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BY-NC-ND

What Kind Communication is Not

Kind Communication Doesn’t ignore problems

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What Kind Communication is Not

Kind Communication is not Door Mat

Communication

What is Kind Communication?

Kind Communication is respectful communication

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licensed under CC BY-SA

What is Kind Communication?

Kind Communication is fun communication

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CC BY-NC-ND

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Kind Communication

Why is it Critical to our Relationships?

Our emotions are Contagious Mirror Neurons

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Author is licensed under CC

BY-ND

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NC-ND

The 10/5 Way

Franchised by the Ritz-Carlton Hotel Chain

If you are 10 feet or less from a customer or co-worker you need to

make eye contact and smile

If you are five feet or less you need to make eye contact smile and

greet the co-worker or customer

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under CC BY-ND

The Negativity Bias

The Negative Emotions tend to last longer and

effect us strong than the positive Emotions.

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under CC BY-SA

Where Does the Negativity Bias Come

From?

The World was a much more dangerous place than it is now

Our ancient ancestors were always on the lookout for threats

Advantageous because “you could live to fight another day”

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licensed under CC BY

The Problem with the Negativity Bias

Our culture rewards innovation and creativity

It is very difficult be creative and in the negative mindset

Positive emotions broaden our perspective negative emotions

narrow our vision

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Author is licensed under CC

BY-SA-NC

How do You Counteract the

Negativity Bias at Work?

You need to have many more positive comments than

negative comments to balance things out

How do You Counteract the

Negativity Bias at Work?

Take time out to celebrate your team successes

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The Negativity Bias Also Applies to our

Personal Lives

Dr. John Gottman claims you need to have 5 positive

comments to counteract just one negative comment in

our personal relations

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This Photo by Unknown

Author is

licensed

under CC

BY-SA

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC

What is the Key to Dynamic teams?

Psychological Safety- a belief that one will not be

punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas,

questions, concerns or mistakes

Expressions That Create Safety

You might not realize this but….

You probably already know this but…..

Contrasting statements. I don’t want or intend …. I

do want or intend

Effects of Writing in a Gratitude Journal

Best Practices For Writing in a

Gratitude Journal

Be specific

Surprise

Scarcity

Near misses

Adopted from Gratitude Works: a 21 day program for creating emotional prosperity by Dr. Robert Emmons

Make Writing in a Gratitude Journal a

Habit

Do it the same day and time

Pick a time of day where you don’t feel rushed

Use a notebook that you only use for writing a

gratitude journal

Make sure a pen or pencil is permanently attached

to your notebook

The Benefits of Practicing the Loving

Kindness Meditation

Well-Being

Social Connection

Decreases your bias towards others

Self-Love

Immediate and long term impact

Einstein on Compassion

“A human being is a part of the whole called by us

universe, a part limited in time and space. He

experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as

something separated from the rest, a kind of optical

delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind

of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires

and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our

task must be to free ourselves from this prison by

widening our circle of compassion to embrace all

living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

The Gratitude Letter

Write a Gratitude Letter to someone who has had a

profound impact on life but you haven’t taken the

opportunity to properly thank.

Studies at Indiana University and UC Berkley documented changes in the brain associated with

happiness, empathy, and compassion 3 months

after writing a gratitude letter.

Questions?/Stay Connected

david@kindnessandgratitudeeveryday.com

Connect with me on Facebook search kindness

and gratitude everyday

Visit my webpage at:

www.kindnessandgratitudeeveryday.com

World Peace?