CONFLICT MANAGEMENTPresented By:

Nick Wolff, Region VI Staff

Outline

• Explore Evolution of Conflict• Three Keys to Conflict Management• Tool for Intervening Effectively

Evolution of Conflict

A Model of Conflict Management

The Purpose of this Course is to Prepare

You to Be Good Conflict Managers!

Key 1: Careful Observation

(Have your Antenna Up)

Observing

Key 2: Be Aware of Differences

Personality Differences

• Meyers-Briggs Four Factorso I/E: Introversion vs. Extroversiono N/S: Intuition vs. Sensoryo F/T: Feeling vs. Thinkingo P/J: Perceiving vs. Judging

• Natural Preferences• Irritation When Outside Preferences

Introversion vs. Extroversion

• Where do you get your energy?• Introversion (I)

o Energy from internal ideas/thoughtso More Guarded; Slow to reveal best stuff; Can

become upset “suddenly”; Tired when returning from conference

• Extroversion (E)o Energy from interaction outside selfo More Direct with others; Energized when returning

from conference

Intuition vs. Sensory

• How do you process information?• Intuition (N)

o Pattern Oriented; Big Pictureo Good at formulating Ideas/Concepts

• Sensory (S)o Data Oriented; Attention to Detailo Good at finding the nugget of info; Can quote

chapter and verse

Feeling vs. Thinking

• With what do you make decisions?• Feelings (F)

o Emotions play a larger role; considerateo “We don’t want so-and-so to be upset”

• Thinking (T)o Driven by logic; matter of facto “It doesn’t make sense.”

Perceiving vs. Judging

• How quickly can you decide things?• Perceiving (P)

o Need lots of informationo Longer processing times

• Judging (J)o Need less informationo Make decisions faster

How Does it Relate to Conflict?

• We can classify ourselves

How Does it Relate to Conflict?

• People tend to flock to people like themselves – Group is missing something

• Many conflicts occur where people are far apart – Better ideas/solutions

• Simply based on how we interact• INDEPENDENT OF THE TASK AT HAND

• Know where you are• Read others• Where are you relative to them?• Where will our friction points be?

How Does it Relate to Conflict?

Key 3: Differentiating Data from Interpretation

Data vs. Interpretation

Data (Objective)• Factual statements• Clarify• Includes your emotional reactions Interpretation (Subjective)• We decide to “make sense of data”• Need to check your conclusions

Data vs. Interpretation

Examples of Data

• She showed up on time for the project• We’ve been talking about this for thirty-

five minutes• That really upset me when you said that• Nick has long hair

Examples of Interpretation

• He’s being very accommodating• She’s only doing this so that she can take

the credit• I think I’m being excluded• Nick is a long-haired freakAlways check your interpretations!

Conflict Management in a

Group Setting: How to Take Action

What Do We Do?

• We must manage the irritants to keep the process moving forward.

• We need to do a better job talking about how we talk to each other. (Interpersonal Dynamics)

• We choose to intervene to help the group work through its conflict productively

• Rule #1: Don’t get killed• Rule #2: Speak for yourself• Rule #3: The influence see-saw• Rule #4: Escalate only when needed• Rule #5: Leave an escape route• Rule #6: Know when to hold ‘em and

when to fold ‘em

Cardinal Rules of Influence

Language and Influence

OBSERVATION: Quietly observing the

Situation and Surroundings

Language and Influence

Observe

LABELING:Observing Something Happening

and Giving it a Name

Example: I’m hearing only a few voices during this important discussion

Language and Influence

LabelObserve

Questioning:Asking the Group to Consider Doing Something Differently

Example: I’m seeing many people getting “cut off”. Do we

want to talk about that?

Language and Influence

QuestionLabelObserve

STATEMENT:Stating Your Perception or

OpinionExample: We aren’t

considering what’s best for the Pledges.

Language and Influence

StateQuestionLabelObserve

JUDGING:Stating Something is

Right or WrongExample: This is

completely unethical!

Language and Influence

JudgeStateQuestionLabelObserve

Acknowledgements

Special Thanks go out to Steve Tracey, MS., Nancy Voss, MS. and Christopher Fernandez, PhD. Of Benedictine University on whose course content much of the presentation was based.

Thank you for your ongoing service to Alpha Phi Omega!