Post on 11-May-2015
Copyright © 2010 by Deborah H. Collier.
Illustrated by Jeremy Aloysius Richthofen
Library of Congress Control Number: 2010909482ISBN: Hardcover 978-1-4535-2900-3 Softcover 978-1-4535-2899-0 Ebook 978-1-4535-2901-0
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.
This book was printed in the United States of America.
To order additional copies of this book, contact:Xlibris Corporation1-888-795-4274www.Xlibris.comOrders@Xlibris.com42112
ContentsContents
I Finally Found You1. .........................................................................15
I Needed You2. ..................................................................................17
The One Constant3. ..........................................................................19
I Am In Awe!4. ...................................................................................23
A Shining Star5. .................................................................................25
I’ll Let Love Into My Heart Again6. ...................................................29
Hurt And Sadness Can Work Two Ways7. ..........................................33
You Are Out There Somewhere8. .......................................................37
A Testament To Our Love9. ...............................................................41
The Love We Have10. ..........................................................................43
You Found Another Attraction/Distraction11. .....................................47
Passion From The Soul12. ....................................................................51
The Path Of Our Lives13. ....................................................................53
How Can I Ever Trust Again?14. ..........................................................57
To A Very Good Mother15. .................................................................61
From A Disabled Child To His/Her Parents16. ....................................63
Perceptions17. ......................................................................................65
The Love Of A Father And Son18. .......................................................69
The Right One19. ................................................................................73
The End Of Our Journey20. ................................................................77
* Denotes actual year the poem was written by the author** Note: The author is very aware of the many punctuation marks (mainly commas) missing from the poems. This was done purposefully, and the ones left in were to make it easier for the reader to understand the contextual nature of a stanza or line, and the underlines of course to make a point more emphatically. I felt that by leaving out the extra punctuation it would allow the reader to be less interrupted, and the poem to flow as fluently as possible.
The Truth Did Set You Free21. ............................................................79
A Love Like A Dream22. ......................................................................81
You Loved Me23. .................................................................................83
When The Sea Is Calm24. ....................................................................85
The Unrelinquished Sadness25. ...........................................................87
The Right Time26. ...............................................................................89
I Saw You In A Vision27. .....................................................................93
You Looked Up To Me28. ....................................................................97
The World Traveler29. .........................................................................99
A New Start30. ..................................................................................101
Falling . . . Deeper And Deeper31. .....................................................105
The Nightmare32. .............................................................................107
I Felt Your Pain33. .............................................................................109
When Did Things Begin To Change?34. ............................................113
Putting The Pieces Back Together35. ..................................................117
The Day Arrived36. ...........................................................................121
Where Is It Written?37. ......................................................................125
Expressing My Love For You38. .........................................................129
A Daughter Remembers (Even Though You Were Faraway)39. ..........131
Stay As Free As You Are40. .................................................................135
DedicationDedication
Dedicated to my wonderful parents, who loved me unconditionally, and showed me by example how to be a person with good values and a person of worth. My incredibly supportive and loving husband, Bruce, who has shown me what being in love really means. My five children, Shane, Seth, Jeremy, Cody and Bethany who have given me the opportunity to know the real meaning of unconditional love. And to my beautiful cousin, friend and confidant, Jean, whom I appreciate so much. To them I want to express my love and gratitude, and feel blessed to have had them in my life to be an inspiration for this book.
A special thank you to my illustrator, Jeremy Aloysius Richthofen, and his wife Elie, an exceptional couple who made my job much easier.
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PrefacePreface
I wrote this book trying to address many of the types of love we encounter in life. If you were to ask a hundred people what they feel true love is, they would probably have a lot of the same thoughts, but I believe there would not be one answer that was the same. We all see love for others in different ways, but the one theme that does hold true, is that love is to feel an emptiness in your heart when that person is not with you and you want to be able to be with that other person more than with others. Many of my poems are of love lost, and I wrote these because this is the reality of love for another. We are never guaranteed “a rose garden” in any relationship, but those that endure the test of time means that either both parties are working very hard to make things work out or that they are “soul mates” to begin with. If they are “soul mates”, this may give them the good fortune and possibility of not having to deal with some of the same stresses that many other marriages and partnerships could have. Some of my poems are of everlasting love. Love that we feel even when we have lost a loved one through illness or tragedy, and we continue to love them after death. Also, when we have lost a partner because things did not work out between the two people involved. I feel that anyone who finds what they feel is “true love”, is so very fortunate as I said in one poem because some of us never ever find it. These poems were not written from life experience as much as they were on what I feel others have had to go through in relationships. I want to touch other people’s hearts and have them feel that they are not alone, and if a poem “speaks” to them, I have accomplished my purpose by writing this book. Many people may find solace in one or more of these poems, if they are still in love with someone who has passed over, or who is inaccessible to them at this point in time.
The love we have for our children, of course is different, and I wanted to include this in order to address mothers and fathers, young and old. This type of love should be unconditional and last all our lives as their parents. Some parents feel that when their children turn a certain age, and they are no longer responsible for them by law, that their caring for them as they have in the past stops there. I feel that your children are your responsibility
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Everlasting Love
all your life. You should be there for them whenever they need you, and help and support them the best that you can no matter how old they are. When they marry you should be a presence, but not one that interferes with their marriage. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to them, but to make decisions for their marriage is up to them and their partner.
I hope that I have been able to be as inclusive as possible with the types of love that we may encounter in our everyday lives, and I hope that I have touched the hearts of my readers in a positive way, even if a poem brings tears to their eyes. I feel we have to have experienced pain and sorrow in order to be able to know the joy that comes from so many kinds of love.
I send my love out to my readers, and as I said above, I hope I have also touched your hearts.
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Everlasting Love
I Finally Found YouI Finally Found YouI’ve been waiting all my lifeTo find someone just like youTo fill my days and nights with loveTo find a love so true
I’m sitting by my windowJust waiting your returnAnd knowing all the time I waitLike me, your heart does yearn
We’ve built a solid foundationOne that just can’t be thrown asideAnd one that will withstandAll the things love must abide
I’m so happy that you love meAnd that I can return this same love to youAnd to find each other at this timeIs something we both are so overdue
We just happen to be two of the fortunate onesWho found true love but not too lateAnd to know true love is so very wonderfulEspecially now that we no longer have to wait
I feel we will be togetherUntil we are made to partAnd that in itself is a tributeTo how two can share one heart.
Deborah H. Collier* 2010
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I Needed YouI Needed YouI needed you and since I did, I found that peace had almost entirely left meThe days for me were so long and slow, and because of this, out of this rut, I could not escape
The things we knew, our hopes our plans, were ours and ours aloneAnd since you weren’t in my world now, the joy in my life was not to be found
You finally came to me in a dream, a dream I had waited for, for so very longAnd when you did, a joy I’d forgotten how to feel was slowly becoming so very strong
I felt I couldn’t catch my breath, for the words you spoke went right to my soulAs you spoke it seemed so real, and for this reason I began to feel very cold
You told me that I must not wait for you, to come back any longerThis I had never been able to grasp before but now I was much stronger
You then said to me that to be with you now, was not the answer for usYou said I must let go, and promise you that I must let nature take its course
This dream had helped me to no longer fear to start feeling joy in my lifeTo finding relief by feeling more peace, even though you were no longer by my side
I loved you so, your demise had hurt so very, very much—our love had been so pureThis dream I think had three messages—to help me to let go and to go on, and to encourage me to also try to help others to find their own closure.
Deborah H. Collier written in 1966 revised 2010
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The One ConstantThe One ConstantYou are the one who brightens my dayThe one constant in my lifeThe one who fulfills my wants and needsThe one who lessens my everyday strife
I don’t know how ever I found youIn this vast and ever-changing worldI was told it was divine interventionAnd together I want us to be as we grow old
How many things had to happenTo bring us to this placeWhere we can be togetherIn this world’s so very fast pace
We are at times somewhat differentBut more often so very much alikeI feel that makes us balancedWith our likes and sometimes dislikes
It’s amazing to me that I find,So little about you that I would changeAnd that you know how I feelWithout even any verbal or physical exchange
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Your modesty is suchThat most would never knowThe depth and profoundness of your beingWhich shines like a beacon in a heavy snow
I feel that I shall never findOne as loving and kind as youTo fill my days with peace and joyIn whatever we decide to do.
Deborah H. Collier * 2010
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I Am In Awe!I Am In Awe!I am in awe, when you hold me,Mold me, and enfold me,And I melt into your arms.
I am in awe, when you allow me,Wow me, and endow me with soMany of your natural gifts.
I am in awe, when you astound me,Surround me,And send sounds to meFrom the whispers of your mind.
I am in awe, when you educate me,Evaluate me,And elate me with your love.
I am in awe, when you caress me,Address me, and impress meWith the kindness that youSo generously give.
I hope that we shall never have to say adieu,Because my loving partner . . . .
I AM SO IN AWE OF YOU!
Deborah H. Collier * 2005
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A Shining StarA Shining StarMy life was totally emptyWhen you left me on that dayFor I could make no senseOf the thing that took you away
I’ve searched my soul for reasonsThat no sense can ever impartFor I know to try to look for senseWould never heal this broken heart
I’ve wanted to be near youEach and every day as I ariseBut I know that it was not your faultThat we said our last good-byes
My love will always be with youNo matter where you areI ask only that you know thisThat you were and are my shining star
For you were the one I turned toThe one who always knewHow to make a day so wonderfulJust by being YOU
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I now turn to those who stayedAnd to God to ease this painBut as we both know so wellThis heartache will remain
Someday it may be betterI have memories that are goldBut what I really want the mostIs YOU right here to hold!
Deborah H. Collier * 2001(Originally written as a dedication to 911 victims & their families
and also read at my Father’s funeral Dec. 2001Also, with great sympathy to those who suffered through the devastation of hurricane Katrina, and to those heroes who helped other people during this
incredible fight for survival.)
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I’ll Let Love Into My Heart AgainI’ll Let Love Into My Heart AgainI found that to shut yourself completely downTo walk through life like a piece of machinery made of steelEventually while it is catching up with youYou may find to feel love again helps you to heal
As they say we must know pain to know real joyTo have joy may take some people a great deal of effort for sureAnd as much as we want to remain anonymousSomeone may come along that we cannot ignore
This someone was you, I started letting down my guardBit by bit the walls I had built were crumbling and beginning to fallI felt this was dangerous because I was scaredAs I started feeling old feelings—one after another piece fell from the wall
And you didn’t let up—you stayed with meYou began to start touching heartstrings I had for so long protectedAs much as I tried to discourage you—you just weren’t inclined to give upYou just kept staying with me no matter how much I made you feel rejected
How is it that after so many years of trying to hold onto my feelingsYou came into my life and turned it up side downBecause of your patience and persistence and absolute caringI had begun to feel again—my past pains I knew I could now overcome
When had I started to become so cynical, and how long had I been this way?So uptight when these feelings are what make us all just humanIt seemed that no matter how hard I triedI knew that by running away from everything was just a pitiful reason
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Most people need others to turn to when things are going wrongWe need others to let us know we have a unique purposeWhen all I could do was shut all the doors to my heartI began to realize that what hurt me, could have been much worse
At times no matter how badly we’ve been hurt and try to hide from the worldThere is usually someone who comes into our lives and in just a short timeHelps us break away a truckload of walls we’ve been so carefully buildingAnd then we can begin to regain faith in love, and everything begins to shine
I set myself up for heartache, so very many times, and felt that it was all my faultI know now that it wasn’t, as there are no guarantees, since real life is not that way at allThank you so much for not giving up on me, for this is what has helped me to seeThat opening your heart to others is the thing to do and in love again I could fall.
Deborah H. Collier * 2010
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Hurt And Sadness Hurt And Sadness Can Work Two WaysCan Work Two Ways
I walked into the park one dayAnd saw a young girl crying on a bench nearbyI asked her if she would like someone to talk to
And she answered yes while she still cried
She continued to cryThe tears flowed as she spoke
I told her she could tell me what was wrongBecause my trust she certainly could invoke
She explained that when she and her boyfriendWere at home night before lastThat the evening was the same
As it always had been in the past
She said when they awakenedHe was totally aloof, and said he didn’t want to talk
And this was completely unlike himBecause from casual conversation he had never balked
She told me he was the most beautiful manShe had ever known, and their love had been sublime
And I knew these words were from her heartBecause out of the tears her face suddenly began to shine
She told me that she loved him moreThan anyone could ever understand
And they had talked so many times ofA life together they had planned
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The morning that she spoke of,Had changed her whole world of dreams
For he confessed he thought he’d never really loved herAnd they could no longer be a team
My heart plummeted for her as she told me thisFor I had had a similar experience, a relationship that ceased
I told her she should grieve as long as she needed toAnd time would eventually work in her favor to give her needed peace
It’s difficult to console someoneWho has just had such a terrible shock
But I’ve found through the hurt I’ve encounteredAs much as you would like to, you can never turn back the clock
Some people go through tragediesThat make them so bitter, they never seem to mend
But there are others who have turned their hurt into strengthAnd this has helped them to become stronger and better in the end.
Deborah H. Collier * 2007
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You Are Out There SomewhereYou Are Out There SomewhereCome to meIn our every changing destiniesI know we must beSide by side
I feel the warmth of your spirit within meAnd know we will be so complete whenWe meet
You’re out there just waitingAs I am right hereI just hope that you can hear me
I want only youEven though we’ve never metI know that in timeIt seems destined that we will
But it’s difficult beingSo close and yet so farBecause I know you are close
Let me know where you areSend some sign to my doorLet me know if you can hear me please
I know we will meetOnly time stands in the wayAnd all these precious momentsWe could be spending together now
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Someday you’ll appearIn a crowd, on a streetI’ll know you when I see you
Never will this wanting, waitingAnd knowing, wanePlease look for me also
In time we will be together, I have no doubt of thisAnd I feel the love we could haveCould be beyond anyone’s imagining.
Deborah H. Collier * 1997
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A Testament To Our LoveA Testament To Our LoveI love the way you hold meAnd then kiss meThe synapses of my brain run rampantLike the bulls in the Spanish bull run
I can’t breathe sometimesI can’t thinkI can only feel wispy nonsensicalImages rushing through my mind
Your lips on mineThe pounding of your heart beatingIn rhythm with mine
Your hands on my waistPulling me closer and closerAnd in those moments the worldIs only you and me
I love you so very muchPlease let me live in this worldWith you for as long as I canBy your side always.
Deborah H. Collier * 2006
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The Love We HaveThe Love We HaveThe love we haveIs so precious and rareA treasure I believeThat will go on forever
We know this love, even in our dreamsAnd I thank God everyday as I awake to you every morningWe find it difficult to put our feelings into wordsFor this reality is beyond even our most incredible imaginings
How very fortunate we are, to have found true loveAnd to have so much hope of keeping it forever,Some people are just never able to find itNo matter how much they pursue this endeavor
They say you’ll knowWhen your love is truly realAnd this I found to be a truth with youWith a bond our love was sealed
Sometimes I feel so good about usBut then it truly frightens me,To think how I could go on without you by my sideI’m not prepared to think this way, this I cannot see
You are not only my true loveBut my best friend of courseAnd I can tell you so many very private thingsA line with others I have seldom crossed
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Thank you again so much for all your loveAnd also for believing in meIt’s uncanny how you seem to knowWhat to say to make me so very happy
God bless you my darling, for helping me open places in my heartAnd to the parts of my emotions toward the world, my back I had turnedFor you have shown me not only how to loveBut you’ve shown me how to be loved in return.
Deborah H. Collier * 2002
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You Found Another Attraction/You Found Another Attraction/DistractionDistraction
The feelings that I had for youMade me blindsided to your actionsAnd even though I thought I knew you wellRight under my nose you found another attraction
You said you wanted to be with meNot only day but nightAnd that our love was like a dreamA dream that was so right
How did I miss the clues to knowThat you had found anotherI look back now and still can’t seeHow I just became a bother
Of the many things I now knowWe definitely should have discussedThe terrible things you were dreaming in nightmares,But you said they had nothing to do with us
You did tell me about visionsYou were experiencing from a war long passedAnd maybe you wanted someone to rescue youFrom the demons that seemed to last
Your quiet demure was who you seemed to beBut you were actually a man of deceivable unrestSo how was I to even know or comprehendHow inside you were so extremely distressed
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You’d also told me you were ecstatic to find someone like meBut I realize now how needy you were, and in your haste to find a cureAnd someone just to rescue you, you never saw who I really wasIn your chaotic thoughts I had actually become only a lure
I watched you as you looked outsideFrom the window by the bayNever knowing how much pain you feltUntil later on that day
This all came to me as such a shockAs I was the person you said was a dream come trueAnd here I was believing you, I don’t understandHow people fall in and out of love as if it’s just something to do
But I’ve learned not to dwell on things that make no senseIt’s only a waste of energyIf someone decides they don’t want you, go on with your lifeBecause that love just wasn’t meant to be.
Deborah H. Collier * 2010
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Passion From The SoulPassion From The SoulCompletely undone and every nerve-endingYou've touched goes to the very depth of my heartThis passion we have is so very much alive And cannot be conscious to us at this moment Until emotions begin to impartWe are left with only our basic longingsAnd this is where we can understand thatIn our deepest feelings we know we belong together I hold onto you and we feel such happinessIn a foam-filled pool of insatiableAnd abundant unstoppable lovingWe never knew could be so immeasurable Until now we could only imagine the extent true loveCould affect us until we had absolutely found itThis feeling of overdue passion is so newThat we could never explain it in all its bliss.
Deborah H. Collier * 2010
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The Path Of Our LivesThe Path Of Our LivesWe’re all on an incredible journeyOne given to us by designAnd we find as we walk down this unknown pathThat our lessons accumulate and combine
But my thoughts are that a reason is givenThat a specific purpose we possessWe are needed to use the talents given to usThose with which we’ve been blessed
Fulfilling this purpose before our time is upMay be the reason we continue to stayAnd to know we have a specific purpose mayHelp us to make the most of each and every day
We’re in a strange place without a pastWhen we come into this worldBut I believe if we enhance our life with zealMany mysteries will unfurl
As we go along we find thatHarsh times may come our wayBut we also find that faith can mendSo many disappointments and dismays
The things that hurt us intenselyThe things that are now long pastSeem somewhat dreamlike as we go onThe intensity seldom lasts
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We all face that questionOf “Why am I here?”“Why was I chosen to live on this earth?”Then the thought just disappears
The question will always intrigue usAnd we can try to make sense if we chooseBut if we believe this is a one time thingThen we must make the choice to win or lose
Remember that life is fleeting and every moment countsAnd that opportunity to do good can be found in many incidentsSo if we make the right choices and great contributions to our worldWe may help the next generation to continue to do good with great perseverance.
Deborah H. Collier * 2003
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How Can I Ever Trust Again?How Can I Ever Trust Again?You were standing thereAnd you could see my painAnd then the heaven’s openedAnd my tears blended with the rain
I couldn’t believe what you were sayingAnd I didn’t want to hearOut of the blue these incredible wordsDid you say you didn’t care?
No, no it can’t be trueThese words you spoke just nowBecause we were so good togetherThis just can’t be somehow
Please don’t stand there and watch me cryThis pain inside is just too intenseI felt that on your love I could always dependThis just doesn’t make any sense
You said how much you loved meAnd that our love was so surrealThen why this sudden change of heart?This must be just a dream
Never in a million yearsWould I have ever imagined thisOr thought this could have ever happenedYou made me believe you were in total bliss
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How do you make anotherFeel so loved and so very cared forSo much the only one for youAnd then on love just close the door?
I'm so confused, please help meTo understand your heartHow can I ever trust again?And my love be able to impart?
It all comes down to one thingOne thing I now so clearly seeYou wanted to be in love with love so muchYou fooled us both completely.
Deborah H. Collier * 2002
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To A Very Good MotherTo A Very Good MotherYou gave me a chance to have a life andI am so grateful and blessed to be aliveI am now able to see how the basic values you instilled in meHave helped me to give my own children a chance to thrive
You worked so very hard and I know todayYou did this with so much love for us in your heartAnd I have done the same for my childrenFor your example helped me to get them off to a really good start
You are a Mother, who selflessly tried so very, very hardTo fix the things that most people would feel could never be resolvedBut you relentlessly tried to find a way in spite of obstaclesTo work out these things anyway because you felt they must be solved
You made my life much fuller, just by being with meAs much as you could each and every dayAnd to this day I could never thank you for all you’ve doneFor there would never be enough words for what I need to say
Even so, I want to tell youThat my love for you runs very deepAnd I want you to know that all the love you have given me,Will be one of the most valuable and cherished things that I will keep
God Bless You MOM and Thanks Again,For whether in person or in your heart, you were always there for meAnd I know now how fortunate I was to have a Mother like youWho gave her all to be the best she could be.
Deborah H. Collier * 2006(Dedicated to my Mom who had to be both Mother and Father for so many years.)
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From A Disabled Child From A Disabled Child To His/Her ParentsTo His/Her ParentsI didn’t ask for this painI didn’t ask for this lifeIt was given to me and to youAnd now we must try to accept it
Not just to accept me, but accept my illnessAccept that I may never be able to do certain thingsAccept that you will be asked to work with meTo comfort me, to protect me
If you water a garden it growsIf you encourage my spirit I will growIf you harden your heart I will witherLove me and believe in me and I will blossom
I am really just like you in so many waysI was born with flesh, blood, and bonesI have feelings and they can be hurtI have desires and dreams that I want to achieve
If you can treat me just like any other childThis will allow me to become who I really amAnd then any obstacle that I may encounterWill be so much easier to overcome.
Deborah H. Collier * 2001
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PerceptionsPerceptionsI find that many people in the worldHave all begun to lose controlOf all the things that kept them togetherFrom the time they were very small
Some argue the questionOf why we are here at allAnd if we don’t keep our perspectiveWe’ll find we’re up against a wall
We can’t dwell on things that we can’t changeOr on things gone bad when we’ve given our bestTo do that is to stop to growAnd maybe never again be able to rest
To find a place where we can existAnd know we can be calmWe must be ready for things unknownLove who we are, be prepared and be strong
We can never ever be perfectNo matter how hard we trySo we must take time to realize thisAnd not give up and on the inside die
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Many of us think we areJust the things that we doLike mother, teacher, engineerBut this just isn’t true
We are all just the people that we areThe person who’s insideOur goodness and uniquenessWe must not put aside
Once we’ve come to this perceptionOf the essence of our soulWe find that our outward “who we are selves”Can be enhanced within us to behold
Who we say we are and who we areAre sometimes two entirely different thingsAnd wouldn’t it be refreshing to hearSomeone say “I’m just a human being”?
Deborah H. Collier * 2005
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The Love Of A Father And SonThe Love Of A Father And SonMy son looked up at me todayTears streaming down his cheeksI asked him what was wrongAnd he started acting so very meek
It’s hard to be a caring parentAnd see your little ones in distressSo I made sure that he was physically alrightAnd then asked him why he was upset
He said some of the kids in school todayHad been mean to him and this had made him very sadHe said he was trying to take up for the new kidAnd this made his friends really mad
I told him how kind he’d been to take up for someone newAnd complimented him on knowing just how he should actI’m sure he remembered how he felt when our family had movedWhen he’d been new he’d learned a responsible way to react
Because he remembered how it had feltAnd knew enough about putting himself in this boy’s placeThe hurtful things the other kids were saying to this new friendWas something he didn’t want his new friend to have to face
I told him he’d done the right thing, and how very proud I wasAnd I remembered reading a short quote about staying strong,To always do what you know is right regardlessAnd do what you believe in even if you are the only one
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I don’t know how much those words helped himBut I did remember how it had made me feelWhen other kids had teased me when I was doing the right thingIt still had taken a real toll and took me quite a while to heal
When we are raising any child, we should always keep in mindWhether they are right or wrong, to sit down with them and to reasonBecause childhood goes by so quickly, try to always be there for themThis helps them to be more secure, and to become a better person.
Deborah H. Collier * 2010
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The Right OneThe Right OneMy life had been so difficultThe crises never seemed to endBut then I did not realize what wasRight around the bend
My life was going to take a turnI never would have guessedA wonderful change was taking placeMy life would again be blessed
I prayed that God would send meA person who loved Him tooA gentle person who could see in meThe things that were so true
A person whom I could depend onTo love me just for meAnd didn’t want to change my waysMy goodness they would see
If I could find a person like thisSomeone who would let me just be meThen I would want to do for themEven more than they would do for me
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This miracle finally happenedIn a most unusual wayFor many events had to take placeTo bring about this day
The person that I was looking forI met soon after I had prayedAnd now after being together for many yearsI still feel just as blessed as I did on the very first day.
Deborah H. Collier * 2000
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The End Of Our JourneyThe End Of Our JourneyMy world came tumbling down that dayThe day we said goodbyeWe knew that it would never workWe’d done all that we could to try
You took me in your arms so warmAnd we had our last embraceAnd all that I could see right thenWas the sorrow on your face
Do you think we did the right thing?To end this bond we’d hadDo you think we bore poor judgment?This ending was so sad
Maybe we’ll never know these answersAnd we shouldn’t second guessBecause we can always hold onto the factThat we sincerely gave it our best
You know I’ll never forget youFor you know there never could beA better friend to fill my lifeA friend who taught me to just be me
I can’t thank you enough for all you gaveFor all the kindness on your partAnd even though things just didn’t work outYou’ll always have a special place in my heart.
Deborah H. Collier * 2001
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The Truth Did Set You FreeThe Truth Did Set You FreeIt’s difficult to discoverThe needs of anotherAre all hidden below vast layers of their pastWhich they have kept covered
You reach out to help themKnowing only some of the places they have beenBut not knowing the deep thingsWhich they keep so secretive and close within
The layers must be peeled awayTo reach them it is the only wayYou give all of your all to find the keyTo gently ask things that will not make them flee
You finally make some progressThe answers are only surface at firstYou so much want to help themBecause below all these layers lies a gem
Finally they begin to tell youOf the things they’ve kept so hiddenAnd you knew all this time it would hurt youBut to give them all your love was what you could do
When these many layers are peeled awayAnd your love helped you to find a wayTo give this person who was to you a rarityA way to finally find their way to their needed clarity.
Deborah H. Collier * 2006
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A Love Like A DreamA Love Like A DreamThe love we hadWas beyond anything I ever imaginedThe love we all dream of and hope forBut can’t believe it has finally really happened
I lived this dream in the real worldEveryday in awe of how true love really feltThinking that this feeling could never endJust being with you made my heart truly melt
I wanted to be with you ’til the end of timeThis love was so intense and so very strongAnd I felt it was invincible to any changeBut if I’d been less blinded I would have seen I was wrong
Life has a way of taking strange turnsOf taking away when we’re not ready to giveBut I believe to have this true love even once in your lifetimeMakes it a complete life that you’ve lived.
Deborah H. Collier * 1966
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You Loved MeYou Loved MeYou loved me for what I was thenNot for who I wanted to beNot for who I was going to beAnd not for who I was before I met you
Your eyes shone with admirationFor my every step, my every wordMy dreams were always within youFor you and I belonged in the same world
Ideas would unfold before usLike blossoming flowersFor I enjoyed your thoughts and you mineFor together was the only way we could plan
As it was, dreams brought us togetherAnd dreams of a future together kept us thereBecause within this realm of happinessWe found very few things we couldn’t share.
Deborah H. Collier * written in 1966—revised in 2010
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When The Sea Is CalmWhen The Sea Is CalmWhen the sea is calm and the moon lays low
We know we can begin to soothe our souls
We can’t look away, for away would be wrong
We must continue to envelope the steadiness
That has begun to engulf our spirit and consciousness
To pretend, is to stay a slave to convention in our passions
So we must let our wings come forth, and soar as high
As the heavens will take us.
Deborah H. Collier * 1966
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The Unrelinquished SadnessThe Unrelinquished SadnessI thought of us the other nightThe good times and the badI began to think how things could have beenHad you not been so very, very sad
Your sadness had lingered for so longFrom an adolescent ageAnd every time you thought you’d healedIt seemed as if you were still in a maze
I told you that you had to faceThe fears that held you backTo be able to find the good you truly deservedFor you’d always had the things you thought you’d lacked
I tried so very hard to make you seeMy love for you was trueBut in order to ever make love work at allThe one you have to love first is always you.
Deborah H. Collier * 2003
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The Right TimeThe Right TimeCome to meIn our every changing destiniesI know we must beSide by side
I feel the warmth of your spirit within meand know we will be so complete whenwe meet
You’re out there just waitingAs I am right hereI just hope that you hear me
I want only youEven though we’ve never metI know that in timeWe will meet
But it’s difficult beingSo close and yet so farBecause I know you are out there
Let me know where you areSend some sign to my doorLet me know you can hear me please
I know we will meetOnly time stands in the wayAnd all these precious moments we couldbe spending now
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Someday you’ll appearIn a crowd, or just on any streetI’ll know you when I see you
Never will this wanting, waiting,And knowing, wanePlease look for me also
In time we will be togetherI have no doubt of this, and I feel thatThe love we could have is unimaginable.
Deborah H. Collier * 2005
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I Saw You In A VisionI Saw You In A VisionI saw you in a visionJust the other nightYou said that you were doing fineYou said you were alright
I never questioned why you cameYou needn’t speak for me to knowYour words were there as clear as dayAs I could feel them through the glow
You were not dressed in whiteAs so many visions areBut came only as a shadowTo speak to me from afar
After you said that you were fineAnd that where you were things were very brightYour thoughts came through without a voiceIt was like a second sight
You let me know that where you wereA place where the waters were always crystal blueYou only wanted to make me awareThat someday you wanted me to be with you
My time on earth was fleetingAnd I must know just where I stoodIn the vastness of the universeThere was only one true good
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I must know my God more ferventlyUnderstand His few requestsTo believe as He had instructedAnd to follow would come the rest
I knew exactly what you meantI had fallen shortAnd there was only one thing to doJust one and only one resort
I saw you leave as you had comeYour message had been so clearThat I was to follow a stronger courseIn the things I held so dear
God had been calling me to worshipFor such a very long timeWhy hadn’t I listened to Him so long ago?My excuses to me had been fine
I felt sure I’d still get into heavenEven though I didn’t go to His House to worshipBut one day it finally hit meHow very long God had with me been patient
For this reason and many moreI began to change my courseTo worship in the House of GodOtherwise, I felt I would have so very much remorse.
Deborah H. Collier * 2004
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You Looked Up To MeYou Looked Up To MeYou looked up to me, to tell you right from wrong
But I did nothing
You looked up to me, to help you to be strong
But I did nothing
You looked up to me, to help you find the one
But I did nothing
You looked up to me, and when I came to help
You were gone.
Deborah H. Collier * 1966
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The World TravelerThe World TravelerSo you’re out there in this great big worldWith so many things to seeSo many new things to embraceWho knows where next you’ll be
You’ve found your wings to take you higherTo reach for the moon as alwaysAnd in your quest you’ll see such wondersYou might feel there are never enough days
You’ve gone from being a quiet unassuming little childAnd evolved and now have such a confidenceThat you’re able to keep up with all you’ve had to accomplishAnd when any crisis comes your way you’ve proven your resistance
You’ve found your niche in seeing other landsWith each place another incredible viewWith each new step more commitment to exploreAnd a multitude of new things to do
I’m happy for your new found loveWhich is wanting to find out what is waiting in other landsAnd I hope you will be able to find all you desireAnd that you will always be led by God’s hands.
Deborah H. Collier* 2009(DEDICATED TO MY TWO OLDEST SONS, SHANE AND SETH, WHO ARE TRAVELING THE
WORLD TEACHING ENGLISH IN OTHER COUNTRIES AS CIVILIANS)
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A New StartA New StartWhat happened to us?What came in the way?Or was it that there were thingsWe should have said, but just didn’t say?
I’m totally confusedBut I feel I’m to blameBecause I didn’t give all of myselfTo a person who did truly love me just the same
The signs were all thereJust staring at meBut my heart was obliviousTo a love that was a fantasy
I kept going on as if there wasNothing more to fearBut I found that as days went byEvents began to bring me to tears
I wanted our love to be fantasticSo I let all the red flags slip byWe should have been communicatingBut instead all I could do was hide and cry
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I don’t think we can ever get backThe type of love we once hadBut I do believe in trying to repairThe things that have made us both sad
Will you work with me and communicate?We can talk about how we again can find a wayTo be together forever, because all I really wantIs to be with you until the end of our days.
Deborah H. Collier * 2010
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Falling . . . Deeper And DeeperFalling . . . Deeper And DeeperCompletely and unbridlingYou’ve touched the deepest parts of my heartDeeper and deeper as I plungeInto the abyss of our love, down . . . down
As I am falling I am collecting wisps ofFar-reaching ecstasy in my soul,Knowing you’re feeling the sameSharing with me all of you
This is where I take your hand andBask with you in an infallible, abundantPool of happiness . . . How could we knowHow true love could affect us until now.
Deborah H. Collier * 2010
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The NightmareThe NightmareThis truly is a nightmareSurreal, chaotic, and the bloodIn my veins has turned to iceSomething, I’ve never before experienced
Oh, you had me so blindsided by thoseMystifying and beautiful eyes, always gazing at meWith unbeknownst superficial loveAnd I bought it
All I see now is a cold, calculating, miserable soulAgain in search of someone else to wrap in deceitAnother vulnerable one is out there somewhereAnd I pray they will be shielded from you and your madness
Let them see sooner than later that the monsterIn you is lurking, waiting for its preyThe innocent and kind may be at your mercyBut there must be at least one whose intuitiveness alerts them early
When this happens, you will be found out before it’s too lateBefore there is no turning back from your definite demiseYou will be confused as to why you are not feeling the usualPleasure from one of your triumphs, of hurting and deceiving another
How pitiful you are, and I hope there will never have to beAnother innocent and trusting prey for you to try and deceive,But if there is, I hope with all the hope in meThe real you will be discovered in time, next time.
Deborah H. Collier * 2004 revised slightly in 2010
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Everlasting Love
I Felt Your PainI Felt Your PainI took a walk through the park one dayAnd I saw you sitting thereI could tell by your expressionThat you were in despair
I walked over to where you satAnd I thought I could hear your heart beatWhen I asked if I could help youYou looked away and began to weep
You said that they were your only familyAnd this was why you were completely alone nowI wanted to hold you in my armsAnd take all your pain away somehow
You told me your storyAnd how this life can be so strangeHow you may think all is totally fineAnd in a split second all can change
You told me how your parentsA year ago this dayWere traveling by carOn their way with you to stay
They ran into bad weatherThe road very windingYou’d lost them on that daySince then your life had been spiraling
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You said that you were one of only two childrenBut your sister had died and she was your twinAnd naturally then being the only childTo your parents you became everything
They’d never wanted you too far from their sideEven as you became an adultWhen their over-protectiveness became unhealthyYou gently told them that to live so close you found too difficult
I listened for a very long timeAnd as I left you I realizedThat we cross paths with others sometimesJust to bring some happiness where there is pain.
Deborah H. Collier * 2003
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When Did Things Begin To Change?When Did Things Begin To Change?I can’t remember when things began to changeWhen we became like strangersI only know that it has happenedAnd our love is now in danger
We’ve had so many good timesAs so much time has passedBut nothing is ever guaranteed,And many things just don’t last
I’ve racked my brain for that turning pointWhen things went all awryAnd as I contemplate our loveThe tears come to my eyes
I want things to be the way they wereBut things just never areBecause change is so essentialAnd sometimes people can’t change for fear
Do you think we can ever get it back,The things that made us click?Or do you feel there is no hope,To feel real love and not just mimic it?
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I want to be with you foreverThis has never changedBut we have to be honest in all we doAnd not feel it’s all arranged
If you are willing to make this happenThen I will be there tooAnd maybe, just maybe, we may findA different love, but one that is just as true.
Deborah H. Collier * 2010
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Putting The Pieces Back TogetherPutting The Pieces Back TogetherSing me a love song, sing it so it soothesThe things that I feel are unspokenAnd I think these are the same thingsThat make me sometimes feel so broken
I know times haven’t been easyFor you and me it’s trueBut we did think one thing was for sureThat love would get us through
Falling through a maze, a haze, in a dazeAnd everything is blurredAs I try to put the pieces back togetherThe way they always were
I used to feel like a broken-winged doveJust falling and falling through spaceWhile still totally in love I had to try to remove despairAnd then try to put solace in its’ place
Love is like a puzzle, the pieces should fit tightlyAnd when this puzzle is disturbed the pieces do not fit rightI think we can begin to put them back as tightly as they wereHoping that the flame of being in love we may be able to reignite
I believe we are all here for a specific purpose and I also believeThat God gave each of us the yearning of our other half to meetFor with a match that has very little connectionWe may find we will never feel complete
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You have helped me greatly withinTo begin to restore the things of emptinessYou’ve made things so much easier for meI love you so much for your unselfishness
I find that because of youI now see how these pieces can be restoredAnd you’ve also helped me to know through all thisThat I AM the one that you adore.
And yes, now like the Phoenix, I will fly out of the ashes and will again be able to SOAR!!!!
Deborah H. Collier * written between 1999 and 2009 rewritten in 2010
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The Day ArrivedThe Day ArrivedShe sat on the steps In the front of her houseWatching her oldest child drive awayAs she watched him from a distanceShe knew that there was nothing more she could say
She realized that now her life had been changedAnd for this she began to grieveShe had been very quiet while the last bags were packedAnd she knew her love for her child would always be there to retrieve
She hugged her child so very tightlyAs if this would be the last time she would for a whileHer child returned her love with a sweet kiss on her foreheadShe tried to hold back the tears all along maintaining a smile
Their relationship had been wonderfulYet she knew he must goTo fulfill his independenceWhich she knew on every child we should bestow
She knew it was time that she let goHer heart was breaking more than he knewAnd the tears began to well in her eyesAs she knew there was nothing more she could do
“I’m not going forever”, to console her he had said“And I won’t be far away”, he could see she was in pain“I’ll come home whenever I can”, he said to her thenShe knew she couldn’t hold him to this, and it began to rain
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As time went by she realized so many other thingsHow grateful she should be that he wanted independenceAnd this helped her to slowly realize it was good to slowly let goAnd she could still find happiness in all their mutual remembrances
Eventually she learned from other mothersWho had also dealt with these type of situations and emotionsThat she would be able to be content with and even enjoyA long distance relationship and have the same adoration.
Deborah H. Collier * 2010(Dedicated to the memory of my dear Aunt Ruth)
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Where Is It Written?Where Is It Written?Where in the world is it written that at 20A young person should know what they’re going to becomeIt seems so many young people are put in cubby holesAnd to not fulfill their parents’ wishes, the parents may become undone
Of course this is not always the case, as everyone is differentBut the pressure that some parents put on their youngTo know so many things about their future in advanceParents are making choices for their children that they themselves long
Don’t push them or expect too much from themJust be grateful that you’ve been allowed to guide this little personBy example try to help them and to show them how to become good peopleAnd to know that you didn’t fail if your intentions were always wholesome
At 20 it’s generally thought that a child should know his futureAnd at 30 that a career or married life with children is the wayBut many parents forget that if they guide their children wiselyMany times their support and love will help their children not to stray
At forty many parents feel their children should be successfulSuccessfulness is relative and whatever choice they’ve madeIt may not be the choice that suits us, but it’s their life not oursIn the future we may see our child fall back on the foundation that we've laid
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If your child wants to be a dancer, a teacher, a writer or an artistAnd so many other things even for just a month or two or moreLet them find the thing that they love the mostAnd give them a lot of opportunities to make it possible for them to explore
Feel so blessed if you have been able to have a childThere are so many people who can’tFor those of you who have children please realizeWhat an incredible privilege and blessing on you God did grant.
Deborah H. Collier * 2010(Dedicated to my other three children–Jeremy, Cody, and Bethany who have
brought so much joy into my life)
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Expressing My Love For YouExpressing My Love For YouIf I was asked to write downHow I felt about youI think there would never be enough booksTo give my love for you its due
You came into my lifeWhen the world looked so very, very darkAnd the first time that we metI knew in my life you would be a huge part
I’ve never felt this depth of loveI’ve never felt this joyAnd each morning as I awake,You’re there, my whole being to restore
I hope that I can be to youThe way you’ve been to me, so very realBut it seems so unlikely that I couldFor your love has brought me to a place surreal
To try and tell you in words how your loveAnd kindness have taken my breath awayAnd to express all these things and the depth of my love Would take a lifetime and a day.
Deborah H. Collier * 2010
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A Daughter Remembers A Daughter Remembers (Even Though You Were Faraway)(Even Though You Were Faraway)
You’ve always been there for meA force that was so strongAnd though I rarely saw youI always knew that I belonged
From all the things you’d taught meYou gave me great insightAnd all the choices I had to makeYou were still a guiding light
I knew that you were always thereWhenever I needed your strengthBut the times that I could see youStretched into greater length
I felt an uncanny connectionEven though you were farawayBut I always felt we had plenty of timeTo see each other at times along the way
How many times we’d spokenOf trips to visit we wanted to takeNever thinking that these trips we’d plannedYou may never again be able to make
One day I received a messageThat you only had a short time to liveIt reminded me of all the plans we’d madeAnd that they were still left to be filled
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How could your condition change so rapidlyA man so vibrant until that nightYou even played golf the day beforeBut you said you had already been shown heaven’s light
Soon after they told me you only had a few hoursAnd probably would not make it through the dayI knew that loosing you would be a hard cross to bearI was so grateful we’d said as much as we could possibly say
I thank God I took the time before you leftTo tell you how much you really meantTo tell you I loved you each and every dayMade me feel that our last days together were well spent
When a loved one is leaving usAnd they only have a short time to liveTake every chance that you can possibly findTo give them all the love you can give.
Deborah H. Collier * 2001
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Stay As Free As You AreStay As Free As You Are(LYRICS FROM AN UNSUNG SONG)
Go from here to there and back again and never look behindTake with you a piece of our life in the memories of your mind
Remember when you see me to wave as you pass byBecause if you don’t I think that I might cry
Stay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a starStay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do it
I hope life and good friends will always treat you wellAnd all your friends and family with pride can swell
I know we’ll always keep in touchTry not to hurry, please don’t rush
Stay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a starStay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do it
You’ve got so much to experience and your whole life ahead of youAnd I hope you’ll be happy and love you’ll find in all you do
Trust most people until they prove you wrongRemember it’s so important to always have a song
Stay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a starStay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do it
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You know a song can keep you free out thereAnd because you know this you shouldn’t have many fears
You’re such a beautiful person, a person with such good intentionsAnd because of this I believe you’re someone who will often be mentioned
Stay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a starStay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do it.
Deborah H. Collier * 2010