Post on 27-May-2020
Bridging the gap through self-advocacy
Sexual Violence Track-Leader Guide
Peer-to-Peer: Bridging the Gap Through Self-Advocacy
Sexual Violence Track-Leader Manual Page | 2
© Vera Institute of Justice, Center on Victimization and Safety June 2017
All rights reserved. All rights reserved. The reproduction or use of this document in any form or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means in connection with instruction is permitted. Content changes are forbidden without the written permission of Vera Institute of Justice, Center on Victimization and Safety.
Funder Statement
This project was supported by Grant No. 2011-TA-AX-K004 awarded by the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice. The opinions, finding, conclusions and recommendations expressed in this publication are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Table of Contents 3
Emotionally hard 5
Class 1: Sexual Violence 101 6
Welcome 8
Class review 9
Icebreaker 10
Consent and sexual violence 12
History of the anti-rape movement 19
Rape culture 23
Closing 29
Class 2: Sexual violence and people with disabilities 30
Welcome 32
Class review 33
Icebreaker 35
Sexual violence and people with disabilities 37
Risks 40
Debriefing 49
Closing 50
Class 3: How can a peer supporter help someone who has experienced sexual violence? (Part 1) 51
Welcome 53
Class review 54
Icebreaker 56
The victim 58
How a peer supporter can help? 64
Blaming the victim 69
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Dos and don’ts 71
Story discussion 75
Closing 81
Class 4: How can a peer supporter help someone who has experienced sexual violence? (Part 2) 82
Welcome 84
Icebreaker 86
What to do when someone tells you they have been sexual assaulted 87
More things you can do 94
Closing 104
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EMOTIONALLY HARD
The topics that we talk about in this curriculum can be difficult for some
people to talk about and hear about. The emotional safety of the class
leaders and class participants is very important.
The class material can bring up bad
memories and cause people to get upset.
If anyone becomes too upset about the
material you are encouraged to get
assistance from someone you trust and
come back to finish the class at another
time.
Class 1: Sexual Violence 101
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CLASS GOALS
1. Define sexual violence
2. History of rape crisis movement
3. Learn how rape culture impacts victims
MATERIALS
NEEDED
Sign-in sheet
Computer with internet connection
Projector to show video from computer
AGENDA
1. Review of last class 5 minutes
2. Welcome and Icebreaker 10 minutes
3. Consent and sexual violence with video 15 minutes
4. Break 10 minutes
5. History of the anti-rape movement with videos 25
minutes
6. Break 10 minutes
7. Rape Culture with video 15 minutes
8. Self-check and closing 5 minutes
Reference: Page 7
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WELCOME
Class leader will need to find out if they are mandated
reporters. You can look up your local Adult Protective
Services program and whom is required to report by going
to the National Adult Protective Services website at:
http://www.napsa-now.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/
*If you find out that you are a mandated reporter you should
tell people this before the class. If a class member talks
about an abuse they may have experienced, as a
mandated reporter you would have to contact Adult
Protective Services.
Have class members take the pre-test before starting class
Welcome back everyone. Today we will be talking about
sexual violence. This can be a hard topic to hear. Be sure
that you use the plan you created last time if it starts getting
to hard. We always want to make sure that everyone is ok,
so if you need to leave the room for a while, feel free.
Any questions? Ok, Before we get started I wanted do a
quick review of our last class.
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CLASS REVIEW
5 minutes
Our last class was “The history of people with disabilities in
the United States” we learned about different periods in our
history. We discussed how when the pilgrims first arrived no
one with a disability was included. We talked about how
mental illness was seen as being possessed by demons and
how this thinking led to the Salem Witch Trials. We talked
about how as more people came to the United States,
Almshouses were built to house people and people with
disabilities were often among them. We mentioned that
several of those who signed our Declaration of Independence
actually had disabilities. We also learned that in the 1800’s
institutions and freak shows were common. We learned how
the thinking behind the Eugenics Movement was applied to
people with disabilities.
We then learned the disability rights, deinstitutionalization,
de-medicalization, civil rights, the independent living
movement and the self-advocacy movement all work to help
people with disabilities gain equality.
We ended up by talking about stereotypes; prejudice,
discrimination, ableism and audism continue today and lead
to society to normalize abuse against people with disabilities.
Reference: Page 8
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ICEBREAKER
Treasure Chest
Before we get started I wanted to do a
short exercise to help us get to know
each other a little better. This is your
personal treasure chest. What one item
would you put in here to save forever?
Tell us about the item:
Where did you get the item? (Was it a
gift or did you buy it?)
Is it something passed down in your
family?
Reference: Page 9-10
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Is the item worth more in money or in memories?
Would you ever give this item away? (Whom would you give it to?)
Would you ever sell it or throw it away?
Leader Note:
Leader can go first and then let everyone have a chance to
answer the questions
Leader Script
“Thank you everyone. Now I would like to get us started.
Does anyone have any questions before we begin?”
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Reference: Page 11
CONSENT AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE
15 minutes
Leader Script
Consent is giving a “yes.” That yes can be:
Spoken
Signed
Written
Reference: Page 12-13
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Using a communication
device
Nod of the head
However the person gives their “yes”.
The main thing is that the “yes” must be freely given.
Freely given means that the “yes” is not given based on:
Lies
Reference: Page 13-14
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Threats
Force
Bribes
Pressure
Reference: Page 15-16
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Before touching or any
sexual activity both people
need to give a “yes”.
That “yes” can be changed
to a “no” at any time. If one
person does not give a “yes”
or changes their “yes” to a
“no” the touching or sexual
activity must stop.
If it doesn’t, it becomes sexual violence. Sexual violence
uses sex and sexuality to:
Shame
Reference: Page 16-17
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Bully
Control
Create fear in another
person.
Reference: Page 18-19
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Sexual violence includes:
Sexual assault,
Rape, and
Sexual abuse
It can be:
Brushing against the
person in a sexual
way,
Forcing a kiss on
someone,
Removing clothes
without asking,
Reference: Page 19-20
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Forcing a person to
look at pornography or
Sexual touching/acts
you don’t want
Let’s watch a very short video to start our lesson on active
listening.
WATCH VIDEO
About 2 minutes
“What is consent?”
https://youtu.be/kJOKRYbgDh8
Reference: Page 20-21
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Ok, let’s take a ten minute break and when you come back
we will move on to the history around the anti-rape
movement.
HISTORY OF THE ANTI-RAPE MOVEMENT
(25 minutes with videos)
Welcome back. We are now going to talk about the history of the
anti-rape movement. I want to go back in a time a little further than
that to help you see how far we have come.
For a very long time women were considered property. As children
she would belong to her father. Then after she was married she
belonged to her husband.
Women could not get divorced. If her
husband had an affair the law protected
him. If the woman had an affair it was
different. She could be sold. Just like
cows and horses could be sold. The law
protected the men. This included laws
about rape. Rape was not considered a
crime against the woman; it was a crime
against the father or husband.
Reference: Page 22
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For a very long time women were not
allowed to vote. In the 1800’s they
began to fight for this right.
In 1920 women won the right to vote.
In the 1960-1970s women began to
fight for other rights. The women’s
movement wanted:
Equal pay,
Equal opportunities,
Removal of sexism in the media,
Abortion rights, and
To bring awareness to domestic
and sexual violence
Events were held to bring attention to
sexual violence. Women spoke about
their experience of sexual violence at
these events.
Reference: Page 23-24
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In 1972 the Bay Area Women Against Rape in Berkeley, California
opened. They provided counseling to sexual assault survivors.
They also went with victims through the law enforcement and
medical systems.
The first rape crisis center was also opened in 1972. The
Washington D.C. Rape Crisis Center began running a crisis line for
victims of sexual violence. There are now rape crisis centers
across the country.
The National Organization for Women (NOW) worked on changing
laws, like:
They helped to make it illegal for a spouse to rape his/her
spouse
They wrote a law that limited the use of a victim’s sexual
history in court (the rape shield law)
They made it unnecessary for there to be a witness to rape;
They changed the statutory rape laws from age 10 to 12; and
Changed what it means to consent
Reference: Page 25
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WATCH VIDEOS
About 8 minutes
“Learning Our Legacy, Part 1”
https://youtu.be/ah7T0Dyros4
About 8 1/2 minutes
“Learning Our Legacy, Part 2”
https://youtu.be/FhCnenjpg1w
Ok, let’s take a ten minute break and when you come back
we will move on to looking at rape culture.
Reference: Page 26-27
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RAPE CULTURE
(15 minutes)
Rape Culture is an environment where:
Rape is widespread,
Sexual violence is normalized and
Sexual violence is excused in the media and popular culture
(TV, music, jokes, advertising, etc)
Instead of seeing rape culture as a problem that needs to be
changed people in a rape culture think rape is “just the way things
are.” Let’s watch a short video that will help explain this.
WATCH VIDEO
About 4 minutes
What is rape culture? https://youtu.be/SupUmg566js
Reference: Page 28
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Ok, let’s now talk about what rape culture looks like. In 2012 a rape
happened at Steubenville High School in Ohio. The high-school
girl who had been drinking was publicly and repeatedly sexually
assaulted by her peers. The sexual assault was put on social
media, recorded on cell phones and bragged about on social
Facebook and Twitter.
Two students and high school football
players were convicted in juvenile court
for the rape of a minor. Some members
of the community blamed the girl for her
own rape and blamed her for casting a
negative light on the football team and
town. CNN announced the guilty verdict
but focused on the "promising" lives of
the rapists had been ruined, while
spending very little time focusing on
how the 16-year-old victim would have
to live with what was done to her.
This is an example of rape culture.
Reference: Page 29-30
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In 2015 Stanford University student
Brock Turner sexually assaulted an
unconscious woman behind a
dumpster. During his trial his father said
in the letter to the judge that the 6
months was “A steep price to pay for 20
minutes of action”.
Turner had originally faced up to 14 years in prison. He
was sentenced to only six months in county jail after being
convicted of three felony sexual assault charges and ended up
only serving 3 months.
This is an example of rape culture
Reference: Page 30
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In 2012, Todd Akin, a congressman
from Missouri was discussing his anti-
abortion stance and said, “Women who
are victims of legitimate rape don’t
usually become pregnant because the
female body has ways to shut that
whole thing down”.
This is an example of rape culture.
A 54-year old Montana school teacher
raped a 14-year old student three times
in 2008. He was given a 15 year prison
sentence on Monday with all but only
had to serve 30 days. Judge G. Todd
Baugh stated that the girl was “older
than her chronological age” and was “as
much in control of the situation” as the
middle-aged teacher who repeatedly
raped her.
Reference: Page 31-32
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This is an example of rape culture.
T-shirts with rape messages
“Keep calm and rape a lot”
“It’s not rape, it is a snuggle with
a struggle”
“If she says no, keep buying her
shots”
This is rape culture.
Reference: Page 32-33
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In 2013 Robin Thicke's song “Blurred
Lines” was released. The lyrics include
“Talk about getting blasted. I hate these
blurred lines. I know you want it, but
you’re a good girl. The way you grab
me. Must want to get nasty” the song is
talking about rape.
This is rape culture.
Advertising often crosses lines. This
Bud light bottle and vodka billboard are
examples.
This is rape culture.
Reference: Page 33-34
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These types of things are what make it so hard for victims to come
forward. They are examples of how we blame the victim. They are
examples of how rape is accepted as “just the way things are”.
CLOSING
5 minutes
I know this has been a difficult class. Before we end I want to
check with everyone to see if you want to process anything
we learned today. I want to make sure everyone is ok. If you
have any questions I will be around for a while after the
class. You can also ask them at our next class. Our next
class will be _______.
Please complete the self-check on page 35 and if you need
to talk with me about anything, we can meet.
Class members can fill out their post-test before they leave
Reference: Page 34
Class 2: Sexual violence and people with disabilities
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CLASS GOALS
1. Learn how common sexual violence is for people with
disabilities
2. Learn what makes people with disabilities at risk for
sexual violence
3. Learn the effect sexual violence has on people with
disabilities
MATERIALS
NEEDED
Sign-in sheet
Computer with internet connection
Projector to show video from computer
AGENDA
1. Review last class 5 minutes
2. Welcome and Icebreaker 10 minutes
3. Sexual violence and people with disabilities with video
16 minutes
4. Break 10 minutes
5. Risks 24 minutes
6. Break 10 minutes
7. Debriefing 15 minutes
8. Closing 5 minutes
Reference: Page 40
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WELCOME
About 5 minutes
Have class members take the pre-test before starting class
Welcome back everyone. Today we will be talking about
sexual violence and people with disabilities. This is another
hard topic. Be sure to use your self-care plan if it gets too
hard. We want to make sure that everyone is ok. Feel free to
leave the room for a while if you need to. Before we get
started I wanted do a quick review of our last class.
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CLASS REVIEW
5 minutes
During our last class we discussed some basic things around
sexual assault. The first thing we talked about was consent.
We talked about how consent means that the person says
yes, in whatever way they can. We talked about how consent
cannot be given based on lies, or by using threats, force,
bribes or pressure.
We defined sexual violence as using sex and sexuality to
shame, bully, and control or create fear in another person.
Sexual violence includes sexual assault, rape and sexual
abuse.
We also covered the history of the anti-rape movement, we
talked about how women were considered property until the
1800s, and women didn’t have the right to vote until 1920. In
the 1960-70s women fought for equality and it was during
this time that women began to speak out against rape and
domestic violence.
Reference: Page 41
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Even with these issues coming out we still live in a culture
where rape is normalized. We call this Rape Culture. We
gave you a number of examples:
News media feeling sorry for rapist and not the victims,
Judges who hand down verdicts that do not punish
rapist for their crimes,
Politicians who degrade victims for their own agendas,
Musicians who write songs about rape and
The use of sex and sexual violence to sell products
Reference: Page 41
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ICEBREAKER
10 minutes
Time Travel
Before we get started I wanted to do a short exercise to help
us get to know each other a little better. Today I thought we
could do something a little different. If you want to write down
your answers there are some worksheets on pages 43 in
your workbooks.
On the other side of this door there is a
clock. The clock looks like this:
Anyone who stands under the clock can
travel through time. If you were to go and
stand under this clock, where would you
want to go?
Would you travel to the future? What
would you do once you were there?
Would you travel back in time? What
would you do once you were there?
Reference: Page 42-43
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Leader Note:
Leader should start. Once the last person talks the leader
can move on to talking about sexual violence against people
with disabilities.
Thank you everyone. Now I would like to get us started.
Does anyone have any questions before we begin?
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SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND PEOPLE WITH
DISABILITIES About 10 minutes
Leader script:
Some of the numbers we talk about today are scary. These high
numbers are part of the reason we hold these classes. Some of
you may:
Know someone who have been hurt by sexual violence or
Even have faced this yourselves
One thing we know for sure is that people with I/DD experience
sexual violence more often than people without disabilities1, it was
also found that:
One in four (25%) girls and women with
disabilities that got birth control had
been sexual assaulted2
This picture shows 4 people with
disabilities (using these wheelchair
symbols) and shows one of those pulled
down to show the one who was sexually
assaulted.
Reference: Page 42-43
1 Eileen M. Furey. Sexual abuse of adults with mental retardation: Who and where. Mental Retardation, 32, 3, (1994):173-180. 2 Dick Sobsey, Violence and abuse in the lives of people with disabilities: The end of silent acceptance? Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co. 1994
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Almost half (49%) of people with
disabilities have been sexually abused
more than 10 times3 (if you had 100
people who had been abused in one
room it is possible that 49 of those
people would have been abused more
than 10 times)
This picture show 100 people with
disabilities (using these wheelchair
symbols) and 49 of those 100 people
with disabilities pulled out to show how
many may have been sexual abused 10
or more times.
Children with disabilities are sexually
abused four times more than children
without disabilities4
Reference: Page 43-44
3 Dick Sobsey and Tanis Doe. Patterns of sexual abuse and assault. Sexuality and Disability, 9 (3), (1991): 243-259. 4 Patricia Sullivan and John Knutson, Maltreatment and disabilities: a population-based epidemiological study. Child Abuse & Neglect Oct;24(10), (2000):1257-73.
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Men with disabilities are sexually
abused four times more than men
without disabilities5
Now I want to play a quick video. Some of the words may seem
odd because this video was made in British Columbia.
WATCH VIDEO
About 6 minutes
“Violence against women with disabilities”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EovgP4YXjL8
Ok, I think this is a good time to take a ten minute break. When we
get back we will talk about some of the things that put people with
disabilities at a greater risk of sexual violence.
Reference: Page 45-46
5 Mitra, M., Mouradian, V.E., & Diamond, M. (2011). Sexual violence victimization against men with disabilities. Journal of Preventive Medicine, 41, 494 – 497.
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RISKS6 (30 minutes)
Leader script
Welcome back. Now we are going to talk about some things that
put people with disabilities at high risk for sexual violence.
Remember:
Nothing I say is meant to blame the person or their disability
The person who abuses is the one who has done something
wrong and the only one to blame
Any type of disability puts a person in danger of being hurt; this
danger is greater for people:
Who have intellectual and developmental disabilities,
Who have disabilities that make it hard to communicate and
Who have disabilities that make their behavior different7
Reference: Page 47
6 M. Ticoll, Violence and people with disabilities: A review of the literature (Ontario: L’Institut Roeher,
National Clearinghouse on Family Violence, Family Violence Prevention Unit, Health Canada, 1994), http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cnivf/publications/fvdisabliterature-eng.php; and Day One: The Sexual Assault and Trauma Resource Center, Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence and PAL: An Advocacy Organization for Families and People with Disabilities, Is your agency prepared to ACT? Conversation modules to explore the intersection of violence and disability (Advocacy Collaboration Training Initiative, 2004).
7 Patricia Sullivan and John Knutson. The relationship between child abuse and neglect and disabilities: Implications for research and practice. Omaha, NE: Boys Town National Research Hospital 1994.
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How society acts toward people with
disabilities
As we discussed in our class on the
history of the United States, our society
often treats people with disabilities:
Unfairly, keeping them from fully
participating in the community
As objects, as if they are not even
human
As if they are:
o Worthless,
o Weak
o Unstable
o Incompetent
The way people with disabilities are treated by others puts them in
danger of sexual violence because:
Reference: Page 47-49
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They are seen as easy targets
Not believed if they report sexual
violence
Not able to testify in court.
Can you think of other ways people may treat you that might put
you at risk?
Give the class a chance to answer before moving on
Reference: Page 49-50
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Isolation of people with disabilities
People with disabilities are often separated from other community
members and this puts them at risk:
People with disabilities may not
have contact with people other
than family, friends and those
providing care
People with disabilities may not go
to work or to places where they
can see other people
People who commit sexual violence like to choose people who are
alone.
People who are alone have a
harder time trying to escape.
When people are alone, it is
harder for them to defend
themselves.
When people are alone, there is
no one around to see what
happens.
Reference: Page 50-52
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Can you think of any other ways being isolated may put you more
at risk?
Give the class a chance to answer before moving on
Barriers: Barriers also keep people isolated and prevent them
from getting help:
No accessible transportation means:
People with disabilities are more
isolated, and
People with disabilities may not be
able to get to a place they can get
help
When the places that offer help are not
accessible, people with disabilities
might not get services
Reference: Page 53-54
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When a person has a disability that
makes it hard to communicate they:
May not be able to ask for help
May not be able to tell their story
The places that offer help may not have:
Interpreters
Assistive technology
When the information about help is not
written so that everyone can read it
people with disabilities may not even
know there is help available
Can you think of any other barriers that people might face that
prevents them from getting help?
Give the class a chance to answer before moving on
Reference: Page 54-56
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Depending on others for care: When
a person with a disability needs others
for their personal care, it increases their
risk of sexual violence
Compliance: A lot of times people who have been in institutions or
in special education have been taught to do what they are told.
They have learned not to say no. They have learned that it is safer
to just go along with what people expect then to stand up for
themselves.
This may make them:
Very trusting
Wanting to please others
Look for approval from others
Wanting to fit in
All of these things put them at risk for sexual violence.
No chance to learn about sexual violence
Many people with disabilities have not been taught sex education.
This means that they may not know:
The difference between a healthy
relationship and an abusive one
Reference: Page 56-58
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The difference between touches
that are ok and those that are not
The words for body parts, which
makes it hard to tell someone
what is happening
Lack of resources
If a person with a disability receives
benefits they may not have extra money
to:
Change caregivers
Have home security
Get away from the person hurting
them or move
Get other help
Can you think of how the lack of money may put someone at risk
or make it hard to get help?
Give the class a chance to answer before moving on
Reference: Page 58-60
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Others have control
When people with disabilities are not
allowed to control parts of their life it
puts them at risk because”
Whenever someone has power
over another person there is a
chance that he/she will not use
that power for the good of the
person
People who use sexual violence
against people with disabilities
take advantage of that unequal
power
Let’s go ahead and take a ten minute break. When you come back
we will take a little time to discuss as a group what we heard today
and yesterday.
Reference: Page 60
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DEBRIEFING
15 minutes
These last two classes covered topics that were hard. Let’s take
some time to talk about what we heard and answer any questions
you may have.
Possible prompts to get people talking:
What do you think of the numbers we shared today?
o Are they scary?
o How do they make you feel?
When we talked about the things that put people at risk, do
they make sense to you?
o Do you agree with them?
o Do you think that there are other risks?
When we talked about the rape crisis movement, do you see
any overlap in beliefs with the self-advocacy movement?
When we talked about rape culture, have you heard this term
before?
o Have you seen or heard about these things
happening?
Reference: Page 84-90
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CLOSING
5 minutes
I know this has been a difficult class. Before we end I want to
check with everyone to see if you want to process anything
we learned today. I want to make sure everyone is ok. If you
have any questions I will be around for a while after the
class. You can also ask them at our next class. Our next
class will be _______.
Please complete the self-check on page 62 and if you need
to talk with me about anything, we can meet.
Class members can fill out their post-test before they leave
Class 3: How can a peer supporter help someone who has experienced sexual violence? (Part 1)
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CLASS GOALS
1. Learn what you will be doing as peer supporters
2. Learn how their own experiences can influence how
they work with others
MATERIALS
NEEDED
Sign-in sheet
Computer with internet connection
Projector to show video from computer
AGENDA
1. Review last class 5 minutes
2. Welcome and Icebreaker 10 minutes
3. The Victim 15 minutes
4. Break 10 minutes
5. How a peer supporter can help 5 minutes
6. Blaming the victim with video 10 minutes
7. Does and don’ts 10 minutes
8. Break 10 minutes
9. Story Discussion 15 minutes
10. Closing 5 minutes
Reference: Page 64
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WELCOME
5 minutes
Have class members take the pre-test before starting class
During our last class, we talked about sexual violence and
people with disabilities. Today we will be talking about how a
peer supporter can help someone who has experienced
sexual violence. Before we get started I wanted do a quick
review of our last class.
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CLASS REVIEW
About 5 minutes
Leader Script
The last time we met we learned about sexual violence and
people with disabilities. We saw that people with disabilities
experience a high rate of sexual violence and are often
sexually assaulted more than once. Children and men with
disabilities are more likely to be sexually assaulted than their
peers without disabilities are. We talked about how certain
types of disabilities put people at greater risk, including
people with intellectual and developmental disabilities,
people who have difficulty communicating and people whose
disabilities make their behavior different.
The way our society acts towards people with disabilities and
how they see people with disabilities puts them at greater
risk. Other things that put people with disabilities at greater
risk are:
Isolation
Lack of accessible transportation
Inaccessible service providers,
Communication barriers,
Reference: Page 65
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Depending on others for care
Compliance
Lack of education on healthy relationships and sex
education
Lack of resources, and
Lack of control over parts of their lives.
Reference: Page 65
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ICEBREAKER
10 minutes
Before we start why don’t we go ahead and learn a little more
about each other by finding out about our best friends. You
do not have to use their real first name if you don’t want to. If
you want to write down your answers there are some
worksheets on page 67-68 in your workbooks.
My Best Friend
My best friend is [name or fake name]. We have been friends
for [number of years]. We met at [talk about how and where
you met]. We do things together like [tell some of the things
you have done together]. [Name or fake name] is my best
friend because [talk about why this person is your best
friend].
Reference: Page 66-68
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Leader Note:
Leader should start. Once the last person talks the leader
can move on to talking about how you can support someone
who has been hurt.
Thank you everyone. Now I would like to get us started.
Does anyone have any questions before we begin?
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THE VICTIM 8
(15 minutes)
Before we begin looking at the ways you, as peer supporters can
help someone who has experienced sexual violence, it may be
helpful for you to understand the effect that sexual violence has on
the victim. Sexual violence is very harmful. There can be long
lasting damage to:
The person’s body,
Their emotional well-being and
The way the person acts.
Remember: some people may experience these because of
sexual violence and some may not. Everyone’s reaction is
different. Some people may have these even if they have not
experiences sexual violence, peers should find out if what they are
experiencing is new to person since the sexual violence.
Effects on the person’s body
The person who was sexually assaulted can:
Reference: Page 69
8 Dick Sobsey, Violence and abuse in the lives of people with disabilities: The end of silent acceptance? Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co. 1994
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Become pregnant,
Get a sexually transmitted
diseases, and
Be hurt, bruised, cut, broken
bones, etc.
Sexual violence can continue to create problems with the person’s
body if they begin having:
Stomachaches,
Reference: Page 70-71
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Headaches,
Seizures and
Problems sleeping because of the
sexual violence
Emotional damage
The emotional damage that sexual violence causes include:
Reference: Page 71-72
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Depression,
Anxiety, panic attacks,
Low self-esteem, shame, guilt,
Fear, and the feeling that no one
can be trusted
Reference: Page 72
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These things can go on for years and years. If they get bad enough
the person may need to go to a therapist to help them.
Behavior changes
Behavior changes after a sexual assault is also common, for
example the person may:
Hurt him/herself or try to kill
him/herself
Not want to be around other
people or talk to other people and
start spending more time alone
Become aggressive towards other
people, and even try to sexually
abuse another person
Reference: Page 72-73
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This is a lot. While you may not be able to help with all of these
things, you can help with a lot. Ok, let’s take a ten minute break
and when you come back we will begin discussing some of the
things that you can do to help.
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HOW A PEER SUPPORTER CAN HELP?
About 5 minutes
Leader Script
If you remember back to the first class we talked about the role you
have as a peer supporter is to LISTEN and BELIEVE when
someone comes to you for help.
Be their friend.
When the person comes to you they
should not feel that they have to prove
anything.
They should be able to get your support
because they asked.
Reference: Page 74-75
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You should not:
o Question what they are
saying is true
o Blame them for what
happened
o Judge them for what
happened or what they did
or didn’t do.
Remember: You may be the only
person who believes what the person
says.
This is especially important for people
who have experienced sexual violence
because of what we talked about a
couple of classes ago, and that is rape
culture.
Reference: Page 75
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Loss of control: “Give back control” demonstration
Leader Note: Leader can demonstrate how a peer can give back
control to a victim. Leader should ask someone to volunteer by
coming and sitting in the front of the room, an empty chair should
be placed next to them; leader should have 2 glasses of water
sitting next to the chair. Leader should approach the volunteer as if
they are meeting for the first time.
Leader Script:
Leader approaches the volunteer,
stands by the empty chair, and says:
“Is it ok if I sit down?”
“Thank you” Leader sits down
“How are you today?” (Let the
volunteer talk for a bit)
Reference: Page 76
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“Would you mind if I took notes?”
(Wait for answer)
“I need to get my paper and pen, is it
ok if I go get those now?”
Leader stands up, goes to get paper
and pen, and comes back
“Is it ok with you if I have a glass of
water as well?” (Leader picks up their
glass))
“Thank you, would you like a glass of
water?” (If yes, hand the volunteer a
glass of water)
When someone has experienced something bad he/she might feel
a loss of control.
What did I do during the demonstration?
Answers to look for:
Gave the volunteer choices
Allowed the volunteer a chance to decide on and change
what the leader was doing
Allowed the volunteer to set up the meeting in a way they
he/she would be comfortable
Gave the volunteer control
Reference: Page 77-79
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You can give the individual who
experienced something back, some of
that control back. You can do this by:
Not telling them what to do
Letting them make their own
decisions
Remember you are not there to rescue
the person.
We want to help the individual take back
the power and control they lost from the
violence by providing them with the
information they need to do things
themselves.
Peer supporters can give the person
information, tools, resources, and the
chance to restore their own power
through support, community and by
celebrating their strengths.
Reference: Page 79-80
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BLAMING THE VICTIM
About 10 minutes
Leader Script
Blaming the person who has been hurt
is common.
People do this because they like to think
that good things happen to good people
and bad things happen to bad people.
If bad things happen to good people
then no one is safe.
Often the person that was hurt will
blame himself or herself. This makes it
even easier to place blame on the
person since they are doing it
themselves.
Unfortunately, blaming the person for
the bad thing that happened keeps
them from getting help. It keeps them
from talking about it to others and
allows them to continue to blame
themselves.
Reference: Page 81-82
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News reporters, friends, family, defense
attorneys and even politicians will make
remarks about people who have been
abused that suggest it is the fault of the
person who was hurt and not blame the
person who committed the crime.
We are going to watch a short 5 minute video that talks about
blaming the victim called “She asked for it”.
WATCH VIDEO
About 5 minutes
“She asked for it”
https://youtu.be/dzwYptfRwTg
Reference: Page 82-83
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DOS AND DON’TS9
10 minutes
Leader Script:
When supporting someone there are
good things for you to do and say.
There are also things that you might say
or do that are not helpful. Let’s talk first
about the things that are not helpful.
You don’t want to say or do something that seems like you are
blaming the person for the abuse. Questions like these tend to
blame the victim:
Why didn’t you scream, fight or run?
Reference: Page 84-85
9 Keener A. Tippin. What to say and not to say: How to help a victim/survivor of sexual abuse. K-State Perspectives. September 2005 Retrieved from https://www.k-state.edu/media/webzine/Didyouhearyes/whattosay.html
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What were you wearing?
Were you drinking?
Why did you walk alone at night?
Telling the person what you would
have done is also not helpful.
Reference: Page 85-86
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Making the person tell you all the
details of the crime is not helpful.
It is also not helpful if you stop the
person from talking about the
crime if they want to tell you.
The most important thing a peer
supporter can say to someone who has
been hurt is:
"I'm glad you're alive."
"It's not your fault."
"You did the best you could."
"I'm sorry this happened."
Reference: Page 87-88
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Peer supporters need to be good
listeners. You can show your support by
standing close to the survivor and
touching them (with their permission) to
show you are there. This may be a hug,
or putting your hand on their arm.
You can help the person get help by
giving them phone numbers and
information about local programs.
The person may feel guilty. Remind
them that what happened was not their
fault. Tell them that no one asks to be or
deserves to be hurt.
Be honest, tell the person that it is not
going to be easy, most of what they are
feeling is temporary, and recovery is
possible.
Ok, let’s take a ten minute break and once you come back we will
read off some stories and talk about different responses.
Reference: Page 89-90
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STORY DISCUSSION
20 minutes
Leader Script
Welcome back, no I am going to read off a couple of stories. Once
I am done, some of you can read of the different responses. After
each response is read, we will discuss what makes the response
good or bad. Are you ready? Ok here is the first story.
“Mary tells you that a good-looking man
came on to her at work.
He was waiting for her when she
finished work for the night. He asked
her out for dinner and she accepted.
As they were walking to the restaurant,
they passed his apartment and he said
he needed to get his wallet.
Reference: Page 91-93
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Mary followed him to his apartment and
once inside he grabbed her and tried to
kiss her.”
Now I would like to provide some possible responses to Mary, can
someone read the first response?
Response #1: “You are lucky nothing worse happened”
What do you think about this response to Mary?
Is it a good response? Why?
Is it a bad response? Why?
This response suggests that what Mary went through was not
“bad” enough. That in order to get your support she needed to
suffer more than she did. This of course would not be true.
Can someone read the second response?
Response #2: “You went out with a complete stranger?”
What do you think about this response to Mary?
Is it a good response? Why?
Is it a bad response? Why?
This response is telling Mary that she did something wrong. It
blames Mary for what happened. Mary is probably blaming herself
so it would be better to let her know that it is not her fault.
Reference: Page 93-95
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Can someone read the third response?
Response #3: “I am so sorry that happened, this was not your
fault”
What do you think about this response to Mary?
Is it a good response? Why?
Is it a bad response? Why?
This response shows Mary that you still respect her. It sends the
message that you support her. It also shows that you are not
blaming Mary for what happened. It might also be helpful for Mary
to hear since she might be blaming herself.
Can someone read the last response?
Response #4: “That happened to me once; I kicked him and
ran away. What did you do?”
What do you think about this response to Mary?
Is it a good response? Why?
Is it a bad response? Why?
Comparing your experience and actions to Mary’s is not helpful.
Mary likely thinks that you are not really listening to her. This
response may cause Mary to think that she did not do enough to
make it stop.
Ok let’s leave Mary now and I will read off our next story.
Reference: Page 96-97
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“Mike comes to you and tells you that
yesterday his personal care worker
John came into the bathroom and
started to touch him while he was
peeing. I told him to stop and he
wouldn’t. When I was done I was able to
get away from him by going into the
other room”
He then said, “John was mad at me and
ignored me the rest of the day. I don’t
know what to do. It made me feel sick.”
Now I would like to provide some possible responses to Mike, can
someone read the first response?
Response #1: “Man, I didn’t know you were gay.”
What do you think about this response to Mike?
Is it a good response? Why?
Is it a bad response? Why?
This response is based on a myth. Sexual assault has nothing to
do with the sexual orientation of the victim. Mike may be
questioning himself, feeling weak for not fighting back. You want to
make sure he knows that this is not his fault.
Reference: Page 98-100
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Can someone read the second response?
Response #2: “Is John the tall guy that comes in the morning
or the short dark haired guy? I really like him.”
What do you think about this response to Mike?
Is it a good response? Why?
Is it a bad response? Why?
Asking Mike this question makes it seem like you are not really
listening to what he is saying. It also ignores the real issue, which
is that Mike was sexually assaulted
Can someone read the third response?
Response #3: “Fire him. If someone did that to me I would
have my brothers go and take care of him”
What do you think about this response to Mike?
Is it a good response? Why?
Is it a bad response? Why?
This type of decision is not as simple as simply firing John because
Mike needs his help and would need to find a replacement. Telling
Mike what you would do is not helpful. Instead you should help
Mike to consider all of his options and choose the option that feels
right and safe for him.
Can someone read the last response?
Reference: Page 101-102
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Response #4: “What you are describing is sexual assault. No
one has the right to touch you without your consent. I know
about some places that can help you would you like to hear
about them?”
What do you think about this response to Mike?
Is it a good response? Why?
Is it a bad response? Why?
This response puts a name on what Mike is experiencing. It also
conveys that it is not his fault. It shows that you are listening and
supporting him. Putting the blame on the personal care worker,
where it belongs.
Reference: Page 103
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CLOSING
5 minutes
I know this has been a difficult class. Before we end I want to
check with everyone to see if you want to process anything
we learned today. I want to make sure everyone is ok. If you
have any questions I will be around for a while after the
class. You can also ask them at our next class. Our next
class will be _______.
Please complete the self-check on page 105 and if you need
to talk with me about anything, we can meet.
Class members can fill out their post-test before they leave
Class 4: How can a peer supporter help someone who has experienced sexual violence? (Part 2)
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CLASS GOALS
1. Learn about what to do when someone tells you they
have experienced sexual violence
MATERIALS
NEEDED
Sign-in sheet
Computer with internet connection
Projector to show video from computer
AGENDA
1. Review last class 5 minutes
2. Welcome and Icebreaker 10 minutes
3. What to do when someone tells you they have been
sexual assaulted 20 minutes
4. Break 10 minutes
5. More things you can do 25 minutes with video
6. Break 10 minutes
7. Videos 10 minutes
8. Self-check and closing 5 minutes
Reference: Page 134
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WELCOME
About 5 minutes
Have class members take the pre-test before starting class
Welcome back everyone. Today we will continue talking
about helping someone who has experienced sexual
violence. Be sure to use your self-care plan if it gets too hard.
We want to make sure that everyone is ok. Feel free to leave
the room for a while if you need to. Before we get started I
wanted do a quick review of our last class.
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CLASS REVIEW 5 minutes
The last time we met we learned about helping someone who
has experienced sexual violence. We talked about some of
the effects sexual assault has on a person like:
On their body (pregnancy, sexually transmitted
diseases, injuries)
Emotional damage (depression, anxiety, fear)
Behavior changes (hurting themselves, isolating
themselves, hurting someone else)
As a peer supporter your role is to LISTEN and BELIEVE.
When someone comes to you, as a peer you can be their
friend, avoid making them have to prove anything to you,
providing them with support and not blaming or judging them.
We also talked about how victims often feel a loss of control
and we demonstrated some of the ways that you can give
control back to the victim.
Blaming the victim is very common and as peers we need to
make sure that we don’t do or say anything that makes it
seem like you are blaming the person for getting hurt.
We talked about questions and things that tend to blame the
victim and are not helpful. We also talked about things you
can say and do that are helpful.
Reference: Page
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ICEBREAKER
10 minutes
Magical Bench
Before we get started I wanted to do a
short exercise to help us get to know
each other a little better. This is a
magical bench. When you sit on it you
can wish for anyone in the world (alive
or dead) to come sit beside you. Whom
would you want to talk to? Why did you
pick this person? What would you like to
talk to him/her about? If you want to
write down your answers there are
some worksheets on pages 109-110 in
your workbooks.
Leader Note:
Leader should start. Once the last
person talks the leader can move on to
talking about how to make an
environment safe.
Reference: Page 109-110
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WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEONE TELLS
YOU THEY HAVE BEEN SEXUAL
ASSAULTED 10
20 minutes
When we left off last time we had been talking about blaming the
victim. As a peer supporter you are there to listen and believe. The
victim is never at fault, the person who hurt them is the one to
blame. We are now going to discuss different steps you can follow
when working with someone who has experienced sexual violence.
First contact steps
Step 1: Encourage the person to speak freely and openly to
develop a trust between yourself and the person seeking help
Reference: Page 111
10 Boston Area Rape Crisis Center, Inc. (BARCC) Supporting a Sexual Assault Survivor. Forensics for survivors healing and justice (2015), retrieved from http://www.surviverape.org/forensics/supporting/professional-support Used with permission and Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault. (2011). Sexual assault advocacy and crisis line training guide. Denver, CO: Author.
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Offer comfort
Use the person’s name
Speak in a calm voice
Adjust your tone to the person’s
tone
Let the person know that it is okay
to go slow, to cry, or to repeat
him/herself
Be okay with silence or long
pauses, allow the person time to
think and get in touch with his/her
feelings, you can say something
like “It’s all right not to talk. Take
your time.”
Use questions or make comments
that encourage the person to say
more. Here are some examples:
o “If you would like to talk, I
am here.”
o “I'd be interested in what
you are able to say.”
o “I'd really like to hear what
you're thinking and
interested in sharing.”
Reference: Page 111-113
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o “How would you feel talking
about it?”
o “Sounds like you have some
feelings/thoughts about
this.”
o “How do you feel about
that?”
Step 2: Gather information about the
individual and the situation, this is not
about fact finding but rather an
evaluation of:
Safety – Find out the person’s
safety needs (physical and
emotional) and the need for
medical attention:
o Are you safe now?
o Do you want to call the
police?
o Are you hurt?
o Do you need medical
attention?
Reference: Page 114-115
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Type of victimization –You do not
have to know everything about
what happened but in order to
best help them there are some
things you do need to know, to
find that out you can ask:
o Has something happened to
you?
o Can you tell me about it?
o When did this happen?
o Was it someone you knew?
Level of crisis – find out which
decisions and issues need to be
addressed immediately, you can
do this by:
o Discussing and answering
their questions
o Encouraging them to
express their thoughts and
feelings
o Offering reassurance and
acceptance
o Problem solving, and
o Educating
Reference: Page 116-117
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Background – find out anything
that may change what you need to
do, for example:
o Is the person concerned
about their immigration
status?
o Does the person have
concerns about
employment, housing,
sexual orientation, or
disability issues?
o Have they been victimized in
the past?
o Are they feeling suicidal?
Step 3: Assist the person with safety
and/ or action plans, discuss and
answer questions, and provide support
for what the person needs and is
experiencing, such as
Reference: Page 117-118
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Emotional support,
Problem solving,
Education on sexual assault and
recovery, and
Offer resources
Step 4: Plan for what comes next.
Talk about what to expect
emotionally, physically and
behaviorally,
Discuss ways to cope, and
Offer information/education about
the different systems (medical,
legal, etc.)
Reference: Page 118-119
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Step 5: Recap your meeting, covering:
Any action or safety plans
created,
Resources and referrals given,
and
Your willingness to continue
supporting the person
Ok, let’s take a ten minute break and once you come back we will
watch a video.
Reference: Page 120
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MORE THINGS YOU CAN DO
About 25 minutes with video
Welcome back. Let’s watch a short video. I think it gives a good
summary of what we will be talking about next.
WATCH VIDEO
About 4 minutes
“How to help a friend in a difficult situation (sexual assault)”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otd7o34EuNU
Leader script:
Sexual violence takes away a person’s feelings of power and
control. You can help give him/her back their power and control by
letting him/her make the decisions about what steps they want to
take.
Making decisions is a simple and
important way to feel powerful
again.
Reference: Page 121
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Let the survivor decide:
o What to talk about
o When to talk
o The amount of detail to go
into
Help the survivor understand their
options,
Help them to find more
information,
Reference: Page 122-123
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Be respectful of a survivor’s
decision,
Accept their choices, don’t tell
them what you think in the right
decision,
Use language that supports your
confidence in the person’s ability
to make their own decision, for
example:
o Instead of saying “You
should go to the hospital”,
o Ask them if they think they
want to do to the hospital
Reference: Page 124-126
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Rape is a violation of the person. Help create a safe space for the
victim to voice his/her feelings by:
Listening,
Respecting his/her privacy,
Not telling their story to anyone
with their permission,
Staying with the person,
Offering to go with the person as
they take their next step, and
Reference: Page 127-128
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Without appearing over-protective
you do want to consider the
person’s immediate physical
safety by figuring out:
o If they need immediate
medical attention for injuries
o If the person has a safe
place to go
o If they have a safe way to
get there
o If there is someone that can
stay with him/her
o How to help him/her be safe
if they are not safe
People who have experienced sexual violence are afraid that no
one will believe them; you can make sure you let them know that
you do by:
Reference: Page 128-129
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Telling the person, “I believe you”,
Don’t ask questions that start with
“Why did you…” this sounds like
you don’t believe them,
Staying focused on what the
survivor is saying and what they
need,
Reference: Page 129-130
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Recognizing that a survivor may
not feel comfortable with physical
contact, and
Being aware of your body
language and the messages your
body language is saying
People who have experienced sexual
violence likely blame themselves, you
can:
Tell the person that she/he is not
to blame for the assault
Don’t just say, “It’s not your fault”,
put it in the context of what
happened, for example,
o “You did not ask for this to
happen, you trusted this
person”
Reference: Page 130-131
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If you remember, the other role you
have as a peer supporter is connecting
the victim to the programs in the
community. Being the “bridge”. To do
this you will want to provide information
about the programs available to help.
Leader Note:
It will be important for you to really understand the programs in the
community it is helpful for you to speak with people at these
programs, learn what services they offer, who they serve, take a
tour their agency, and even ask them to come co-teach with you.
Some of the programs available to help the person who has been
hurt include:
Rape crisis centers are programs in the community that help
people who have experienced sexual violence, they offer
things like:
o Advocacy,
o Crisis services,
o Outreach,
o Education,
o They can often go with victims to court, to the police
and to medical exams
o Medical assistance, and
o Counseling
Reference: Page 132
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Medical assistance can include:
o Treating injuries,
o Conducting a rape exam to collect evidence,
o Testing for sexually transmitted diseases, and
o Receiving the morning after pill (to help person from
getting pregnant)
Legal options include:
o Making a report to the police so they can investigate
the assault,
o Working with the district attorney if charges are filed,
and
o Victim assistance to help offset costs associated with
the assault
o Orders of protection when the person knows who hurt
them
Counseling:
o Individual counseling,
o Group counseling
o Especially helpful in the long term or when the abuse
happened a long time ago
Reference: Page 133
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Ok, let’s take a ten minute break and once you come back we will
watch a couple of videos.
Welcome back everyone. I want to show a couple of more videos.
The first is called “how to support a friend who has been sexually
assaulted”. I think it really is a good summary of what we have
talked about today
WATCH VIDEO
About 5 minutes
“How to support a friend who has been sexually assaulted”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qznXtees7g0
I mentioned that one thing people can do is have a rape kit done.
Rape kits are the collection of evidence from the sexual assault.
This video is a short overview of the examination and steps
survivors can take after a sexual assault.
WATCH VIDEO
About 5 minutes
“Rape Kits 101”
https://youtu.be/RVW2KqbL9HQ
Reference: Page 134-135
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CLOSING
5 minutes
I know this has been a difficult class. Before we end I want to
check with everyone to see if you want to process anything
we learned today. I want to make sure everyone is ok. If you
have any questions I will be around for a while after the
class. You can also ask them at our next class. Our next
class will be _______.
Please complete the self-check on page 137 and if you need
to talk with me about anything, we can meet.
Class members can fill out their post-test before they leave