PTTE 111

CARA ANDERSON’S BARTENDER SURVIVAL

GUIDE

An Easy to Use and Informative Guide

11-5-09

BARTENDING IS A HAZARDOUS PROFESSION

Sharp Objects (or at least they become sharp after you drop them and they shatter)

Drunken Stalkers

Tinnitus (losing your hearing due to obnoxious bands and loud dance music)

Sleep Deprivation

SHARP OBJECTS

Murphy’s Law of Bartending:

If it can be broken it will be dropped. Glasses Bottles Knives (Limes and Lemons!)

BARTENDER FIRST-AID

Stop the Bleeding: No one wants blood in their White Russian

Hide the Wound: Admitting Your Clumsiness is Far too Embarrassing

Exit Stage Right Band-aid up and Return to the Front!

DRUNKEN STALKERS

Alcohol + Testosterone = Troubles

There is a Distinct Difference Between Flirting and Stalking: Flirting doesn’t slur or spill beer on itself

Remember: They Think They’re Being Smooth

DON’T PANIC!!

Never Give Them Your Phone Number!

Smile But Don’t Encourage Them

Insist That You’re Very Busy

Relax: Most drunks don’t have much patience and it will be over soon.

TINNITUS

What did you say!?

Tinnitus is Often Caused By Prolonged Exposure to Loud Obnoxious Noise

Bands that Have Little Talent Use Volume to Hide their Flaws

COPING WITH YOUR DEAFNESS

Look at the bright side: you can’t hear the music anymore

Try not to talk so loud

Just nod, what’s the worst that could happen

SLEEP DEPRIVATION The Human Mind Needs Sleep

Symptoms of Sleep Deprivation include depression, loss of short term memory, irritability, loss of short term memory, tremors, hyper-tension, and a loss of short term memory.

Hours of Sleep

AlertDrowsyDillusionalUnconscious

THE END