Post on 19-Dec-2015
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991© 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
DEFENSIVE PARENTING: Keeping Your Family Safe - Defending
Against Allegations
Center for Development of Human ServicesInstitute for Community Health PromotionSUNY Buffalo State
Center for Development of Human Services
Institute for Community Health Promotion
SUNY Buffalo State
_______________________________________
Acknowledgement
This material was developed by the Center for Development of Human Services (CDHS), Institute for Community Health Promotion, SUNY Buffalo State under a training and administrative services agreement with the New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Disclaimer
While every effort has been made to provide accurate and complete information, the Office of Children and Family Services and the State of New York assume no responsibility for any errors or omissions in the information provided herein and make no representations or warranties about the suitability of the information contained here for any purpose. All information and documents are provided “as is,” without a warranty of any kind.For information about this and other training programs, please visit:
http://cdhs.buffalostate.edu
© 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991
© 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Identify allegation issues Recognize how foster parents can be exposed to
allegations Identify tools & skills that build a safe environment Assess individual needs for specific skill-building in
defensive parenting
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Risks of Fostering
Children with special needs/difficult behaviors
Families w/ substance abuse/domestic violence
High stress levels Lack of needed supports Isolation from team Lack of information Fear and frustration
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Risks of Fostering (con’t)
Allegations of abuse or neglect
New placements Disagreements with team
members Partnerships with birth
families Transportation Waiting at appointments Telephone messages and
no reply
Withdrawn, confusing, hostile or disturbing behavior of others
Teamwork Missed visits Overnight visits Unsupervised visits Supervised visits Agency staff turnover Multiple placements and
workers
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Risks of Fostering (con’t)
Supervising visits Building attachments Emergency placements PINS/JD Behaviors Discussing sensitive topics Working with child sexual
abuse Maintaining confidentiality Medical interventions New regulations
Marital discord Concurrent planning Refusing a placement Separation and loss Time management Unexpected expenses Inconsistent policies &
practices Lack of respite
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
The Child Protective Investigation
Complaint made to the SCR
24 hours to start an investigation
Determination within 60 days
– Unfounded– Indicated and closed – Indicated and opened-3%
of children in care
Removal- done by CPS when there is imminent danger
Anonymity of reporters Mandated Reporters Notification of Parents May interview the child in
school
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Incidence of False Allegations Against Foster Parents
Many more than indicated, e.g.,68% of 2,000,000 in 2000; I in 8 chance in 19971 in 4 chance in 2002
1 in ? chance in 2014
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
False Allegations
Naive allegation – young child confuses past and present or has difficulty separating reality from fantasy
Manipulative allegation – older child, youth or family want to change the living arrangement or punish the foster parents
Originate in an underlying need for control
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Reasons Abuse Might Occur in Foster Homes:
Children who’ve been abused or neglected display provocative behavior Foster parents get overwhelmed Pedophiles seek out access to children Older youth can be sexually attractive to adults
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Rules of Defensive Parenting
Get it in writing– Copies of agency policy,
placement agreement, school records, evaluations
Attend Service Plan Reviews
Use a log or calendar
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
A Guide to Gathering Information
Administrative Family Background Medical Information Education Personal Data Special Needs
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Gather Administrative Information:
Reason for placement Permanency plan: required services and foster
parent’s role in executing the plan Names, titles, contact #’s, email addresses of
those involved with case Visitation plan and schedule
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Gather Information on Family Background: Name child likes to be called
Names of siblings, parents, others Favorite family activities Usual home responsibilities Experience with pets Community of faith
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Gather Information on Educational History:
Child’s performance Child’s feelings about school Favorite subject(s) Least favorite subject(s) Favorite teacher(s) Extracurricular activities
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Gather Personal Data:
Food – likes and dislikes Sleep – bedtime, naps, rituals, concerns Fears Important dates and places Favorite toys Special friends and how to contact them Personal appearance – concerns with
dressing, favorite colors, style preferences
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Gather Information on Special Needs:
Anything with which the child may need help…
(learned as a result of gathering all the preceding information)
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Advocacy
“A process whereby you start something, change something, or stop something.”
Jacob Sprouse
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Small Group Directions
Disciplinarian, Stress Manager, Advocate or Emergency Responder:
1. Select recorder/reporter
2. Answer questions on worksheet
3. Be prepared to report back in 15 minutes.
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
The Advocate
1. What must you know to be successful?
2. When is it difficult to be an advocate?
3. How can you be an advocate to keep the child safe at home, on visits, at school and in the community?
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Tips for the Case Advocate
Put it in writing and keep a copy Address one concern at a time Know the “players” Keep the team informed Know the risks
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
The Disciplinarian
How is disciplining more “defensive” than punishing?
How does the child’s history of abuse/neglect affect your discipline?
What should you know about the child? What should you know about yourself?
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Drawbacks of Physical Punishment
1. What does physical punishment teach?
2. What messages are given to the child?
3. How do these messages affect the child in care?
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Discipline teaches…
while punishment:
makes the child payhurts the child’s self-esteemholds the adult responsible
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
NYSOCFS Policy on Discipline of Children in Foster Care - Sec. 441.9, amended April 26, 1973 prohibits:
Depriving meals Depriving snacks Depriving mail Depriving family visits Room isolation Solitary confinement Corporal Punishment
Prescribing, administering, supervising discipline by anyone other than an adult
Any abuse or maltreatment of a child, either as an incident of discipline or otherwise
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Parental Attitudes of the Disciplinarian
Genuine care and concern for the child
Teaching without blame or insult
Parental self-assurance Honesty
Behavior focused Openness Separateness Patience Firm and friendly
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Emergency Responder
Examples that foster parents face How do these affect your life? What happens to children experiencing one? How can you best respond? What do you need to remember in an
emergency?
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Emergencies
Usually are accompanied by strong emotional reaction
Can be triggered by many different things Can be managed Children in care have more than their “fair
share”
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
3 STAGES OF AN EMERGENCY
1. Pre-Emergency; i.e., stressors “set the stage” for crisis (predisposing factors)
2. Precipitating Event; i.e., “the straw that broke the camel’s back;” “at the end of his rope, etc.”
3. Period of Resolution; i.e., working through crisis
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Behavior Phases of Children in Crisis:
1. Anxiety
2. Disorganized behavior
3. Physical acting out
4. Tension reduction
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Emergencies: Principles of Intervention
Stay calm Recognize alternatives Maintain a helpful attitude Release emotional energy Guidance Accept the solutions
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Helping the Child in Crisis
Assess the emergency Give help and assistance Use effective listening skills; i.e., body language,
clarify, paraphrase, use minimal reinforcers and open or closed questions, modify environment
Express interest Show affection (use touch)
© 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Reimbursements for Damages
NYS Regulation (18NYCRR Part 427) provides reimbursement as a special payment to foster parents for expenses not covered by homeowner insurance. In this state supervised, locally administered child welfare system, the LDSS decides whether or not and what amount to pay, within state specified limits (@$1,000/child over 2 yr. period).
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Documentation and Precise Descriptions
Child abuse (statutory vs. agency policy definition) Acceptable and unacceptable discipline Procedures for reporting & investigating allegations
against foster/adoptive families The child’s rights Problem, crisis & emergency, and reporting procedures Documentation requirements (formal vs. informal) Your family’s insurance coverage & liabilities
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Stress Manager
What irritates you about being a foster parent? What delights you about being a foster parent? How can you lessen the irritants? How can you strengthen the delights? What’s most helpful in managing your stress? What do you need to be a better stress
manager?
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Recognizing STRESS
General irritability Rapid breathing, shortness
of breath, excessive yawning
Pounding heart Dry mouth, excessive
throat clearing Impulsive behavior Rapid changes in emotional
state Inability to concentrate
Feelings of unreality, weakness, dizziness
Accident prone Fatigue, changes in sleep
patterns, insomnia Floating anxiety (tense and
fearful) Trembling, twitching, tics,
excessive blinking Easily startled by small
sounds Nervous laughter
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
More STRESS Symptoms
Speech changes: stuttering, unusual voice volume, laryngitis
Fidgeting, inability to sit still
Urinary and digestive tract problems
Muscle tightness, Change in appetite, binge
eating, cravings Skin rashes
Increased smoking, drinking, meds
Numb extremities Sarcastic, exaggerated,
combative or hostile language
Misperceptions and loss of perspective
Frequent illness, colds A pattern of lateness Regressive behavior
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Life with Less Stress
Be in the present Schedule leisure activities Develop a personal growth
plan Develop timetables Recognize feelings Express feelings in healthy
ways Keep realistic expectations Reduce intake of substances Say NO more often Encourage positive feedback
Prioritize: First things first. Be honest Agree to disagree Indulge in your delights Exercise Be task-oriented Build success into every day Build variety into your life Invite stress-reducing
opportunities Develop supports
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Reducing Your Liabilities
Recognize stress Establish clear role definitions and guidelines Review placement agreements Secure case-specific information Seek adequate financial support
Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Fostering as Political Parenting
Considerations: Type or length of placement Placing-agency style Confidentiality “The Whole Child”