Post on 25-Mar-2016
description
This newsletter is brought to you by counselor in Section B+
Shmoozel Leemanov
What’s happenin’?
I’ll tell you. First of
all we had a grand
Shmyonke.
Sunday was IHE
with someone who
was able to read our
minds, and magically
speak to the whole
camp without a mike.
We also took a grand
camp photo, which no
one has ever seen.
Monday we were
about to take another
picture, when they
chased us into Shul
and split us into two
teams!
That night we
w a t c h e d
s c a v e n g e r s
which had old
p e o p l e ,
Shvartzes and a
chicken.
Tuesday, the
first play had a
hooded figure and a
train.
The second play had
kings and Malochim.
Wednesday after two
Halacha chicken
skits, we dressed up
as patients, Indians,
Chinese and Arabs.
We walked in
t h r o u g h a n d
ambulance and 770,
and sang and
laughed the entire
night!
Thursday was the
grand trip with 90
foot water slides,
tornados and toilet
bowls.
The winners of color
war were announced
in the wave pool.
Now camp is ending
with playoffs in full
swing.
A Gut Yohr!
Looking for someone to
turn on a water park. Call
1-800-LAST-YEAR
Need a dictionary? Call 1-
800-IS-IT-GRAND-SCENE
-OR-SING
Still looking for someone to
help make this newsletter.
Call 1-800-TOO-LATE
Classifieds
My Endeh Reid
א טפח העכער Issue 6 שבת קודש פרשת ראה
מחנה גן ישראלב“קיץ תשע
ד“בס
How to meet a
deadline on time
453
When there was no
bathroom on the bus
689
How campers get to
work in PA & canteen
475
The meaning behind
Kie Kapisey
474
Entertain yourself on
a 10 hour bus ride
967
How to close a
suitcase
586
Gan Yisroel! Next
year in Eretz Yisroel!
596
Inside this issue:
A special thank you
to
OMZR
LTENB
For all their input!
the staff can have fun putting it
up during the night.
4) M a k e a r a f f l e b e f o r e
announcing the winners.
5) Don’t let the campers know
these rules.
6) If they found out, then make
them leave camp!
1) To keep campers calm during
the grand sing, have them run
around for an hour before the
grand sing to let out their
energy.
2) Make sure there is no red cloth
used throughout color war to
save a few pennies.
3) Have a lot of extra cloth so that
Halochos for color war
“Hellllllllllllloooooooooooooo! Open
up! Open up I said!” “who goes
there?”, “It’s me, the Shlemazal
from Yehupitz!”. “What?! The
Shlemazal from Yehupitz thinks he
can just come knocking on the door
of the king’s chamber like that? GO
HOME!”.
“Hey there king, how’s life?” “B”H
doing great”, “what’s your favorite
activity of the day?”, “learning
classes!”. “Learning classes?! Are
you crazy?”, “no I’m just actually,
thinking of why I was put into this
world. You see, in the beginning I
thought that sports is it all, then I
realized that the things that are
really going to stay with me are,
Guess what? Actually the things
that we Farbrenged about and
learnt! And that the Rebbe is
guiding me so lovingly – therefore-
in all my actions a Chosid I’ll strive
to be, that is the flame of Gan
Yisroel, which will burn in my
heart, from you I will never
depart!”.
Hey! How did he start talking to the
king all of a sudden? I thought they
weren’t gonno let him in?
Heheheheheheheh, you didn’t
realize that the king is in the field.
He’s not closed up in his palace any
more, he is accessible to all, even
the shlemazal from Yehupitz!
Yes! That’s what Elul (The new
Hebrew month starting this
Shabbos) is all about. The king is in
the field, out in the open, with no
doors and silver-foil faced soldiers
around him, you can go straight up
to him, and say: Hello I’m Mendel,
and I want to be close to you. And
guess what not only doesn't the king
send you flying, he actually smiles
at you with a big wide open smile,
and invites you straight into his
palace = Eretz Yisroel, more
precisely Yerushalaim, more
precisely The Beis Hamikdash,
more precisely The Koidesh
Hakodoshim, with the coming of
Moshiach, which by now, after that
amazing Color War – we know, IS
COMING, RIGHT NOW! ‘CUSE
THE SIMANIM OF GEULAH ARE
HERE, AND THE REBBE SAID
AS A NOVI THAT MOSHIACH’S
COMING IN A HURRY! Right here!
A N O V I M H I G I A Z M A N
GEULASCHEM! (Smile we won!)
Most people don’t really
understand what that is
supposed to mean, and they are
still trying to figure out an
answer to this question.
We here at A Tefach Hecher
were busy thinking of an answer
ourselves, and have come up
with the following solution:
When you throw something on a
bus that is moving forward, why
doesn’t it fly backwards?
Some say that it has to do with
the fact that the bus is
considered a room, and therefore
no matter what is happening
outside, the inside stays the
same.
The bus has four tires which are
connected to the bottom of the
bus, the middle of the bus is
connected to the bottom of the
bus, and the top of the bus is
connected to the middle of the
bus.
And that is why it doesn’t fly
backwards, it’s as simple as that!
Open up!
Science for Oholei-Torah’nicks
Page 2 א טפח העכער
This week we asked the following question to 1414 random campers and here are the results:
What is the definition of Chayus?
67% Punching the air
45% Shaking back and forth
87% Wild animals
0.1% Doing Mitzvos Mit A Bren
Most repeated chant of
the summer:
Kents Menashe(k)
ATH: What has to be done to
take care of you?
CJS: Well I need the help of
basically every staff member in
camp.
ATH: Until when do you need
to be taken care of?
CJS: I was hoping they would
finish taking care of me a couple
of days ago, but all the staff were
busy with color war and the
grand trip.
ATH: How are you now?
CJS: They finished during the
eighteen minutes before Shabbos
and I’m all ready to go!
ATH: Really?
CJS: I hope so!
ATH: Any final words?
CJS: All my final and first words
are going to be written all over
me.
ATH: What is your name?
CJS: C’mon you can’t figure it
out?
ATH: Really I could, but it
would be weird if I say it,
because usually the one I am
interviewing says it.
CJS: This time I’ll let you say it.
ATH: You are the Camp
Journal Shlita!
CJS: Good job! I hope you enjoy
me when I come out!
ATH: How are you?
CJS: Very good B”H! The staff
are giving me a lot of attention!
ATH: Did they always give
you attention?
CJS: Well in the beginning of the
first month no one thought about
me.
ATH: No one?
CJS: Maybe one head staff
member.
ATH: Who?
CJS: Mendy Marlow. He even
mentioned me to the staff by the
end of the first month.
ATH: What happened second
month?
CJS: They started giving me
more attention, but it wasn’t
until a week ago that I really
started getting taken care of.
An interview
Halacha of the week:
When Davening one
should remain in one
place.
Issue 6 Page 3
Explanations: 1) Imitating Ohel Mickey
2) After sandbox accident camper
found after spending days
underground
3) Practicing for the color war play
4) Trying to hide from the head
counselors