Post on 28-May-2018
2017
Live Happier & Healthier
The benefi ts of Zumba
Losing weight through better eating
Overcome issues in your marriage
ALSO INSIDE:Donating Blood / Making change
permanent / Cut back on your drinking / Recover fi nancially
from the holidays
>>>>
>>
Southside New You is published by the
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Losing weight through better eating ..................4Overcoming issues in your marriage .................5Making change permanent ..................................6Why donating blood is important ........................7Zumba a fun way to get fit ......................................8
Recover from your holiday spending ..............11Finding a route to happiness ................................12Have better talks with your kids ...........................13How to cut back on alcohol .................................14
TABLE OF CONTENTS
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The younew2017
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4 NEW YOU 2017
NUTRITION
If you have resolved to lose weight in the New
Year, don’t fall for the latest fad diet.
Instead, focusing on nutrition and imple-
menting healthier eating habits is the best
(and safest) bet for ensuring weight loss success and
overall better health, says Dr. Dana L. Lindsay, med-
ical director of weight loss and wellness at Johnson
Memorial Hospital.
Lindsay said her organization holds to the philos-
ophy that fad diets simply don’t work. Sure, you can
eat only grapefruit every day and you will lose
weight. But, odds are, you will tire of it quickly and
fall back into old habits.
“Don’t make changes you can’t do for the rest of
your life,” she said.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, an
estimated half of all American adults – nearly 117
million people – suffer from a chronic disease that
is preventable, and more than two-thirds are over-
weight or obese. Most chronic disease, such as Type
2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease and high blood
pressure, are preventable with proper exercise, but
more importantly with healthy eating habits, the
CDC says.
Adopting healthful eating habits doesn’t mean
you have to purge your fridge of everything and
start over. However, it is important to read labels.
So where and how can you start to implement
more healthy choices? Start with protein, Lindsay
said.
“The traditional teaching is 45 to 60 grams of
protein a day,” she said. “But I tell people if they
want to lose weight push for more like 60 to 80
grams a day.”
Making protein a priority essentially takes care of
the question about portion sizes.
Protein acts as an appetite suppressant. Say you
have a meal of chicken, mashed potatoes and green
beans. If you eat the chicken first, you are less likely
to go back for seconds on the potatoes, Lindsay
said, because the protein satisfies the hunger mak-
ing you less likely to overindulge.
Many fad diets shun carbohydrates and fats. But
it is important to remember that the body needs
these, too ... but in moderation. Too much of a
good thing can certainly become a bad thing.
When you’re actively trying to lose weight, get-
ting a full 60 to 80 grams of protein in 24 hours
can be a challenge. Great protein-filled snacks and
foods include any kind of beans, nuts, yogurt, tofu
and cheese, Lindsay said. To make it even easier to
reach your protein goal, Lindsay recommends incor-
porating a protein supplement, like whey powder.
Whatever you do, do not skip meals because
skipping meals actually slows your metabolism
down. Eating three meals a day and having a
healthy snack in between, such as a piece of cheese
or a handful of nuts, helps regulate the body and
keeps your metabolism going.
“Say you have breakfast at 7 a.m., and you’re
hungry by 10 a.m. before lunch, what that tells you
is your metabolism is working, and that’s a good
thing,” Lindsay said. “It tells you your body is burn-
ing calories, and that’s why you are hungry. Eating
two meals a day is the biggest mistake you can
make.”
Avoid processed foods. The more “back to nature”
you get, the better off you will be, Lindsay said.
So what about sweets? To start with, avoid artifi-
cial sweeteners. These traditional go-to staples of
dieting actually fuel hunger and encourage weight
gain, not loss, Lindsay said. If a product says it is
low calorie, odds are it contains some kind of artifi-
cial sweetener.
Instead of substituting with artificial sweetener,
work to unsweeten your diet, she recommends. If
you’re a fan of sweet tea, use a half teaspoon of real
Choose the right foods to help you lose weight
By Jennifer WillhiteCorrespondent
nutrition, page 15
“The traditional teaching is 45 to 60 grams of protein a day. But I tell people if they want to lose weight push for more like 60 to 80 grams a day.”
— Dr. Dana L. Lindsay, Johnson Memorial Hospital
Nutritionists suggest consuming plenty of protein is one way to get your stomach to feel full, thereby reducing your desire to eat./ISTOCK PHOTO
NEW YOU 2017 5
MA
RRIA
GE
Marriage can and probably should
be comfortable, especially after a
few years. However, complacency
can also lead to laziness, especially
when it comes to open communication and striving
to work together while confronting issues that will
inevitably emerge.
“Because of day-to-day stresses like parenting,
household issues, sex, work stress and Internet-
fueled distractions, combined with different person-
alities and underlying core beliefs, married couples
can get into gridlock over problems that may come
up,” said Debbie Dukate, a counselor at Kenosis
Franklin Counseling Center. “At those times, nega-
tive thoughts start to take over positive thoughts we
have for each other and we start to lose our sense of
closeness. Trust and commitment might even be
affected.
“I’ve been married for almost 40 years and I’ve
experienced these things myself.”
Beth Johnson, clinical director at Stillpoint
Consultants in Greenwood who works as a marriage
and family therapist, agrees.
“From what I see, 80 percent of the time, people
in long-term committed relationships say they feel
like they’ve lost themselves or lost something within
their marriage, and that’s a very sad thing,” Johnson
said. “We put a lot of our value on our own security
and sense of belonging, based on being married.
That’s how, in our culture, we fit in. When that
sense of security is threatened, people either
become angry and reactive or get scared and pull
away.”
According to Johnson, a wavering sense of securi-
ty can begin to occur when people start to see their
spouse for who that person actually is.
“When you get to a certain point in any relation-
ship, even with yourself, you may start to realize
everything isn’t exactly like you had imagined or
even hoped for,” she said. “It’s not weird, but we
have to understand that.”
Experts say a loss of security within a marriage
can easily result in other relationship pillars being
slowly whittled away.
“The main killers of a marriage generally have to
do with a loss of trust and commitment as well as a
loss of fondness and admiration,” Dukate said.
“We all have conflicts and issues but when those
go unresolved, they eat away at the marriage.”
Overcome the hurdles that can trip you up
By Greg SeiterCorrespondent
marriage, page 15
6 NEW YOU 2017
Before making big changes, it’s good to understand that there are
five stages involved in preparing for permanent change, accord-
ing to Seattle psychologist Nancy Goldov, who references a
landmark study of what’s called The Transtheoretical Model of Change.
Stage One, the study indicates, is the “Precontemplation Stage.”
“In this stage, we don’t quite know what the problem is that needs
our attention,” said Goldov, who also serves as public-education coor-
dinator for the Washington State Psychological Association. “Is it that
we need to lose weight or need to select more comfortable clothes, or
is it a problem having to do with our harshness toward ourselves and
how to find ways to be kinder?”
In Stage Two, the “Contemplation Stage,” we acknowledge there is
a problem and begin to think about possible solutions.
As we proceed through this stage, we begin to think about the
future and start to get excited about the possibility of change.
Stage Three is the “Preparation Stage” and this is a good place to be
at the beginning of the new year.
In the preparation stage, we begin to plan action, but we still feel
ambivalence and need encouragement, Goldov said.
Stage Four is the “Action Phase.”
“This is when we overtly modify our behavior and surroundings. At
this stage, if we are on a diet, we don’t have cookies in the cookie jar.
This stage takes the greatest commitment of time and energy, but the
change is more visible to ourselves and others, which is very reward-
ing,” Goldov said.
Stage Five is the “Maintenance Stage,” where we are in the middle
of a strong commitment to maintaining change. New routines have
been formed, though we sometimes feel “nostalgia for our less-desir-
able habits,” she said.
Goldov said she encourages adoption of the 80/20 rule for main-
taining resolutions, which means to accept “that I will be able to main-
tain my resolutions about 80 percent of the time, and so I am not dis-
appointed when I am living in the 20 percent zone and I accept the
fact that I am human and not perfect.”
For more tips from psychologists on how to keep resolutions, see
this advice from the American Psychological Association: www.apa.
org/helpcenter/resolution.aspx
The five stages of permanent changeBy Christine ClarridgeThe Seattle Times
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NEW YOU 2017 7
I need to give blood. It’s been too long — just
about a year, I think. I certainly have a pint to
spare, a pint whose red cells will be replenished
at the rate of 2 million every second.
Blood is so amazing, I swear. But getting back to
my point, I need to give, not just because I’m in the
mood or because it sounds like the right thing to
do. No, I need to give because lives are on the bal-
ance awaiting my donation. Lest that sound like my
blood is something special, it’s no more special than
yours or your sister’s or the blood of the guy sitting
on the bus with you.
But it’s blood, and it’s rich with possibility and
with life.
Admittedly, I write on a fairly regular basis about
the need to donate blood. That’s because it’s an
evergreen topic; just because the blood needs are
met one day doesn’t mean they go away for the
next. In fact, the Texas-based Carter BloodCare
folks tell me this in an email:
“The critical situation is such that during the
week between Christmas and New Year’s (December
26 through 31), the blood transfusion requirement
by hospitals, for their patients, was much greater
than anticipated, even for this time of year. This has
contributed to the already challenging seasonal
efforts for routine blood collections.”
Lest you think (as I used to think) that blood is pri-
marily used for accident victims or those undergoing
surgery, it isn’t. Oh, those people need blood desper-
ately, but so do a lot of people you might not suspect.
Namely, those who have undergone bone-marrow
transplants, organ transplants, burn treatments and
— one of the most common — cancer patients.
If you’re afraid to give blood, I quite understand.
I used to faint at the sight of it, which bothered the
daylights out of me. Then I went to a therapist,
who, among other techniques, advised me to learn
all I could about blood, which really helped. How
could I be totally ooked out by something that is so
… so lifesaving and can tell us so much about our-
selves?
If you’re afraid of pain, please try not to be. I
think the most painful part (which lasts about as
long as it takes to dot an “i”) is the finger-prick to
make sure your iron level is high enough. You prob-
ably won’t even feel when the needle goes into your
vein.
Also, the whole process — from filling out forms
to donating to sneaking a package of graham crack-
ers into your purse and walking out the door —
takes no more than an hour.
All that said, here are my quick tips for a smooth
donation:
Drink a lot of water beforehand, and be sure to
eat a healthy meal. Think iron-rich foods.
Don’t watch! As nice as the technicians are — and
I have never had one who wasn’t — no need to feel
compelled to look at them when they’re talking to
you.
Talk. I turn into quite the chatterbox when I give
blood, probably because it takes my mind off liquid
being siphoned from my veins. Bless the patient
technicians, whom I ask about their families, their
jobs, the weather …
Stay at the donation site as long as you need to.
Load up on those graham crackers, the Powerade,
the little chocolate-chip cookies. If you feel light-
headed, tell someone.
Why it’s important to donate blood ASAP,
and how to make it a smooth donation
By Leslie BarkerThe Dallas Morning News
HELPING OUT
NY
xercise is good for you ... everyone knows that. The challenge, howev-
er, is finding a program you like and sticking with it, something fun
enough to motivate you to get up off the couch and go work out.
Zumba might be just the ticket. It’s a dance fitness program created by
Colombian dancer and choreographer Alberto “Beto” Perez during the 1990s. The
program involves dance and aerobic movements performed to energetic music. The
choreography incorporates hip-hop, soca, samba, salsa, merengue
and mambo. Squats and lunges are also included.
Promoters of Zumba often call it a “dance party” because
it’s not a dreary, repetitious exercise program. It’s fun.
It’s easy to find a program in Johnson County. It’s offered
through the parks and recreational departments in Franklin,
Greenwood and Edinburgh, as well as in area churches and for-
profit fitness centers. Most classes range from $4 to $7. According to zumba.com,
the program’s official website, 15 million people take a Zumba class. Classes are
offered in 200,000 locations in 180 countries.
“Zumba is designed first and foremost to be a fun, party-like atmosphere,
and is much less structured than the step-classes of the ’90s,” said Faith
Leininger, the instructor for the program at Greenwood Parks & Recreation.
“We begin every class by stating that there are no wrong moves in Zumba.
You let the music move you and as long as you keep moving, you will have an
excellent workout. It can take several classes to catch on to the individual
routines, but it is part of the fun, and nobody — not even the instructors — is
perfect all of the time.”
Angie Turnmire takes the morning class at Franklin Parks & Recreation
with her home-schooled daughters, Claire and Martina. Angie appreciates
having something to do in the morning to wake up the girls and get them
ready for a day of learning.
“I just turned 45, and I wanted to have something to do for me,” she said.
“I was invited by a friend and I was hooked. It’s a lot of fun and it’s easy to
teach when we get home. I also feel like I need to be a good role model,” she
added.
The daughters enjoy it, too.
“It’s kind of like a dance class,” Claire Turnmire said. “I took dance for
eight years. This keeps me healthy and I like doing it.”
Christa Martin, the instructor, said choreography for Zumba is more
involved than for aerobics, but students generally pick up the dance steps
after one class. She changes dances and music and adds new steps and rou-
tines to keep the class interesting. New students can join a class at any time
and follow along until they get the steps.
Leininger agreed.
“Show up anytime and know that the routines are designed for all experi-
ence levels and are quality, high intensity, easy to follow and fun. We have a
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8 NEW YOU 2017
Story and Photos By Amy MayStaff writer
FITNESS
Zumba allows you to dance yourself fit
“You let the music move you and as long as you keep moving, you will have an excellent workout.”
— Faith Leininger
E
Angie Turnmire takes the morning class at Franklin Parks & Recreation
with her home-schooled daughters, Claire and Martina. Angie appreciates
having something to do in the morning to wake up the girls and get them
ready for a day of learning.
“I just turned 45, and I wanted to have something to do for me,” she said.
“I was invited by a friend and I was hooked. It’s a lot of fun and it’s easy to
teach when we get home. I also feel like I need to be a good role model,” she
added.
The daughters enjoy it, too.
“It’s kind of like a dance class,” Claire Turnmire said. “I took dance for
eight years. This keeps me healthy and I like doing it.”
Christa Martin, the instructor, said choreography for Zumba is more
involved than for aerobics, but students generally pick up the dance steps
after one class. She changes dances and music and adds new steps and rou-
tines to keep the class interesting. New students can join a class at any time
and follow along until they get the steps.
Leininger agreed.
“Show up anytime and know that the routines are designed for all experi-
ence levels and are quality, high intensity, easy to follow and fun. We have a
100 percent judgement-free class and the only rules are to keep moving and
have fun,” she said.
No special clothing or equipment is required for the basic fitness class.
Most people wear sweat pants, shorts or yoga gear ... anything cool and loose
for easy movement. Wear athletic shoes that will allow you to move forward
and backward and side to side easily. Some students enjoy wearing belly
dancing hip scarves, which tie loosely around the waist. The shiny metal
coins make a jingly sound, which adds some fun and flash to the routine.
Dancing fits the bill as a fitness program, working the
calves, thighs and buttocks, core muscles and even the back
and arms. It also hones balance skills and agility. Martin said
doctors recommend cardiovascular exercise three times a
week for 20 minutes each session for good health and for
weight management.
“We go hard for an hour,” she said.
The Turnmires and Cindy Deal, another student, said they feel worked
out and sometimes a little muscle-sore after a class, but they also feel stronger
and fitter. It has even helped them maintain healthy habits outside of class.
Claire Turnmire said it helps her cut down on snacking.
“I will think, ‘I just worked so hard. Do I really want to eat that doughnut
now?’” she said.
Leininger, who also works in real estate, has been doing Zumba three to
five times a week for seven years.
“I have always loved music, and Zumba includes all genres of music. Zumba
allows a person to get a solid, full-body workout while having fun and laughing,
and it really doesn’t feel like a chore like many other types of exercise,” she said.
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NEW YOU 2017 9
Christa Martin teaches a Zumba class at Franklin Parks & Recreation.
FITNESS
Zumba allows you to dance yourself fit
“You let the music move you and as long as you keep moving, you will have an excellent workout.”
— Faith Leininger
10 NEW YOU 2017You don’t need to be at a particular fitness level to participate.
Martin, who is also a personal trainer at Anytime Fitness, said
her students will generally adapt the dance moves to their own
needs and abilities. She recently had a student with knee problems
who was not able to do some of the hops. And it’s OK, Martin
said, to do what you are able.
“You can tone it down yourself or go as crazy nuts as you want
and jump around. I can also bring it down to a low-impact level,”
she said.
As the instructor, Martin also reaps the benefits of regular danc-
ing.
“I love to dance. When I was little I wanted to be a dance
instructor. I also taught Jazzercise for years. But this is pure dance
and very energetic. I love the Latin beats and steps. And I get my
cardio here,” she said.
Zumba has been adapted for new audiences since it was brought
to the United States in 1999.
“I teach Fitness Style Zumba, which is an hour of both very
intense cardio and strength work. I have specific songs that target
arms, abs, legs and some are simply cardio, designed to get your
heart rate up,” Leininger said.
For those who want to vary their workouts, Zumba Toning
incorporates weighted toning sticks that participants use like mara-
cas but function like dumbbells to act as resistance weights. This
class is also offered at Franklin Parks & Rec.
Zumba Step combines the Latin dance fun with the step aero-
bics, and Zumba Sentao uses a chair as a “dance partner” to add
more squats and bends. There is also Aqua Zumba, which is done
in a pool, and Zumba in the Circuit, which combines dance with
metabolism-boosting strength training for one complete workout.
For a less intense experience, there is Zumba Kids for the little
ones, Zumbini for toddlers and Zumba Gold and Zumba Gold
Toning for senior citizens.
Churches have also grabbed onto the fitness craze. Many church
lifestyle centers with fitness programs offer Zumba, although some
of them tone down the sexy hip movements and sometimes-sugges-
tive music. WholyFit, an exercise training and supplies program
available to churches, offers a similar version called “Baila,” which
is Spanish for “dance.” Other churches may call it Cardio Latin
dance.
Leininger teaches a Zumba class at the Gathering Place, which is
affiliated with Community Church of Greenwood.
“While I am mindful of some song choices, we don’t alter or
water down any routines or moves. Feeling the music, building
muscle, coordination and cardio stamina are all very empowering
things. I have seen women walk into class looking intimidated and
self-conscious. By the end of class they are swinging their hips with
their hands in the air and having a great time. Zumba helps people
feel free, gain fitness, and hopefully make some friends along the
way,” she said. NY
“This is pure dance and very energetic. I love the
Latin beats and steps. And I get my cardio here.”
— Christa Martin
Are you feeling worse for wear as a result of holi-
day overspending? You’re not alone.
In fact, more than one-half of consumers
say they spend too much during the holidays, according
to a 2016 survey by credit reporting company Experian.
“When the glow of New Year’s Eve wears off, many
of us wake up with the financial equivalent of a hang-
over,” said Carla Dearing, CEO of SUM180, an online
financial planning service. “We’ve spent too much over
the holidays and feel discouraged about our chances for
improving our finances in the new year.”
If you spent more than you expected, you might be
starting 2017 off in a financial hole. Don’t feel discour-
aged, though.
Here are several steps you can take to get your money
back on track.
ASSESS THE DAMAGE
Start by assessing the financial damage. “Look at
your credit card and bank statements to see where the
bleeding took place over the holidays,” said Brandon
Hayes, a certified financial planner with oXYGen
Financial. “Most financial institutions have reporting
tools on their website that allow for easy access to this
data to allow you to analyze your spending categories.”
If you’re married or have a significant other, your
partner should also examine his or her holiday spend-
ing. “If you didn’t set a holiday spending plan with your
spouse or family members, then it might be an eye-
opening exercise,” Hayes said.
Add up the total amount of credit card debt owed or
the amount drawn from savings. You could use software
such as Excel or even an online budgeting worksheet.
“Just gathering the data and seeing it in one place will
empower you to better align your spending to your pri-
orities and zero in on ways to save,” Dearing said.
CREATE A PLAN AND GET ORGANIZED
Next, it’s time to create a plan to pay down your debt,
rebuild savings or get back on track. You will need to
assess your overall money situation and what you would
like to improve in the new year, said Michael J. Hardy, a
financial planner with Mollot & Hardy.
“Many people don’t pay much attention at all to
what they are saving and spending — all the while, hop-
ing and dreaming for a stable financial future,” he said.
“This doesn’t happen without the proper financial
planning and follow-through, which all starts with sim-
ply being honest about where you stand financially.”
You can implement your plan by getting organized
with the help of technology. Hardy recommends using
free resources such as Mint.com or PersonalCapital.com
to get all of your financial data streaming to one easy-to-
read site. You can link financial accounts to these sites
to see how much money you have coming in, set a bud-
get and track spending.
“Use technology as your personal chief financial offi-
cer,” Hardy said. These sites will help you keep tabs on
your finances so you can reach your goals.
IDENTIFY EXPENSES YOU CAN CUT
To free up more cash to recover from holiday over-
spending and get your finances on track, Dearing rec-
ommends identifying two regular monthly expenses
that you can do without — and eliminating them. “For
one person, these may be premium cable and a too-gen-
erous data plan,” she said. “For another, they may be
extra spending on eating out. The point is to be mind-
ful and intentional about where your money is going.”
If you have holiday debt, increase monthly credit
card payments by the amount you save from cutting
unnecessary expenses. Set up automatic payments for
the beginning of the month so the money comes out of
your checking account before you have a chance to
spend it on something else.
GET MONEY BACK
You might be able to recover some of the money you
spent during the holidays by taking advantage of retail-
ers’ return policies. “Did you make an impulse purchase
that you regretted?” Hayes said. “Try and return that
item if you bought it for yourself.”
Nearly 60 percent of consumers planned to make
purchases for themselves while holiday shopping in
2016 and spend an average of $139.61, according to the
National Retail Federation. Luckily, many retailers have
generous return policies that give consumers up to a
year to return items. Even if you don’t have a receipt,
some stores can track down purchases made by debit or
credit card and give you a refund.
Even if you don’t have items to return, you might be
able to get cash out of the holidays by selling any
unwanted gift cards you received. You can sell your gift
cards on sites such as Cardpool.com and get paid up to
92 percent of the card’s face value. Be sure to put any
money you get toward debt repayment or savings.
CUT UP CREDIT CARDS
THAT FUELED OVERSPENDING
To get out of holiday debt, make sure you don’t go
deeper into debt in the new year. “Cut up credit cards
or department store credit cards that may have caused
you to lose control of your holiday spending goals,”
Hayes said. “The less credit cards you use, the easier it
will be to track where your money is going.”
However, don’t close the accounts of the cards you
cut up if you pay them off because this could hurt your
credit score. Your score is based, in part, on your credit
utilization ratio — the percentage of your available credit
that you’ve used, according to myFICO.com, the con-
sumer division of credit scoring agency FICO. If you
close accounts, you lower the total amount of available
credit you have. That will work against you if you are
still carrying a balance on other cards because your cred-
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NEW YOU 2017 11
FINANCESHow to recover from holiday spending
By Cameron HuddlestonGOBankingRates.com
finances, page 14
I’ve often said my fireplace is one of the
things that gets me through winter, and now
I have an explanation for why:
Hygge.
Hygge is a Danish concept that roughly trans-
lates to a feeling of coziness and conviviality, and
it’s gaining traction far beyond Denmark’s bor-
ders. Apparently the rest of us are starting to rec-
ognize not only that savoring life’s little pleasures
makes us happy, but that being intentional about
that pursuit is important to our emotional health.
Hygge, pronounced HOO-gah, is derived from
a Norwegian word meaning well-being. It’s is a lit-
tle hard to explain, because it’s a feeling, a you’ll-
know-it-when-it-happens kind of experience.
It’s dressing in yoga pants and curling up with a
book and a cup of cocoa. It’s putting away the
electronic devices and enjoying comfort food with
good friends.
For me, it’s spending an evening in front of a
crackling fire, preferably with people I love.
The pursuit of hygge isn’t limited to winter, but
winter is the perfect time for it. Dreary weather
drives us to seek warmth and comfort, and that’s
largely what hygge is all about.
The Danes certainly aren’t alone in knowing
how to make themselves at ease, but they’ve ele-
vated it to a priority. The very fact that they’ve
given it a name shows the conscious effort they
make to seek out an atmosphere of togetherness
and comfort, said Meik Wiking, author of “The
Little Book of Hygge” (William Morrow, $19.99).
Wiking is also CEO of the Happiness Research
Institute, a think tank in Copenhagen that focus-
es on well-being and quality of life. He thinks
there’s no coincidence that hygge-obsessed Denmark is consistently
ranked among the happiest countries in the world, despite its cold,
dark winters.
Now, Wiking said, hygge is sparking interest in societies like
ours, where wealth hasn’t necessarily translated into well-being.
We’re trying to find satisfaction in stuff, when we should be focus-
ing on experiences.
“(Our) societies have become richer, but we as
people have not become happier … and therefore
people are looking for new sources of inspiration
to improve quality of life,” he said in an email
interview.
“Danes are not the only ones who can have
hygge or identify it, but what is unique for
Denmark when it comes to hygge is how much we
talk about it, focus on it, and consider it as a
defining feature of our cultural identity and
national DNA.”
His hope is that other people will start talking
about hygge the way the Danes do. “Our language
shapes our behavior,” he pointed out, “and our
behavior shapes our happiness.”
So how can we add a little hygge to our lives?
Wiking suggests starting by creating what the
Danes call a hyggekrog, a nook in your home spe-
cially designed for getting comfortable. It might
be a window seat filled with pillows or a cushy
corner of a sofa, a place where you’ll enjoy snug-
gling up in a blanket and maybe reading or watch-
ing the world go by.
Then make a point of sharing that cozy feeling
with your friends and family. Maybe arrange to
play board games together on the first Friday of
every month, or plan to prepare a simple meal
together. “Any meaningful activity that unites the
group will knit everyone more tightly together
over the years,” Wiking said.
Certain elements can help you set the stage for
hygge, such as candles or soft lamplight, a fire-
place and things made from wood or other natu-
ral items. Throw on some warm, comfortable
clothes, indulge in something delicious to eat or
drink, and enjoy that good feeling.
While you’re experiencing hygge, live in that
moment, Wiking advises. Be grateful for it. Gratitude, after all, is
linked to happiness.
And happiness is what hygge is all about.
12 NEW YOU 2017
By Mary Beth BreckenridgeAkron Beacon Journal
CONTENTMENTDanish concept of hygge a cozy route to happiness
“(Our) societies have become richer, but we as people have not become happier.”
— Meik Wiking, author
NY
It’s a conversation we’ve all participated in, as a
parent, a child or both.
Parent: “How was your day?”
Child: “Fine.”
Parent: “What did you do today?”
Child: “Nothing.”
Kat Rowan is a talker. She wasn’t settling for one-
word answers from her two daughters. So she sent
them to school each day — elementary through high
school — with a handwritten note tucked in their
lunches. Each would pose a question Rowan would
use as a starting point for an individual conversa-
tion with the girls later in the day.
On Monday, Sept. 19, 2005, daughter Maurah
Steinmetz was asked: “How was your weekend?
What made it special? Did it feel like the best week-
end of the season?”
In all, Rowan, 51, a single mother and former
high school math teacher, penned 4,160 cards. They
now form the basis for TiffinTalk, a business she
cofounded with another former teacher living in
the Philadelphia region, Michael Friesen, 50, that
produces sets of cards intended to help users build
stronger relationships through face-to-face conversa-
tions.
That’s right. No texting. No cellphones. Or, as
TiffinTalk’s tag line puts it, “Tech Off. Talk On.”
Tiffin is a British and Indian term for lunch pail.
“We were brazen enough to believe we could be a
global company,” Rowan said of the business name.
In fact, TiffinTalk has been contacted by a dis-
tributor asking whether the company is interested
in doing business overseas. But right now, the
emphasis is on reaching its initial U.S. target mar-
ket — parents, young children, teenagers and adult
children as well as mental-health professionals and
their clients — and meeting the domestic requests
for other subsets of cards. The most pressing
demand is for a line designed for teachers, which is
coming soon, Rowan and Friesen said.
Others under consideration would help couples,
adult siblings, and businesses interested in improv-
ing communication among young employees —
“Millennials don’t talk, they text,” Rowan said.
Yet to expand its offerings, TiffinTalk needs to
build sales, said Rowan, who has spent close to
$80,000 in retirement funds as startup capital. The
company has not had luck attracting investors, who
are looking for opportunities in pharmaceuticals,
technology and biotech, Rowan said.
Since launching in March at the Psychotherapy
Networker Symposium in Washington — the largest
gathering of mental-health professionals on the East
Coast, where TiffinTalk got an enthusiastic
response — the company has sold a few hundred
boxes of conversation cards. Designed to last a sea-
son, a box includes 65 daily cards for $60. Refills
are $50. The full line can be found at www.tiffin-
talk.com
Much time between conception and launch went
into designing the cards, said Rowan, chief execu-
tive and creative director. Each includes space for
personal notes. And, in the case of the parent-child
line, they are designed by grade level, with vocabu-
lary that is appropriate for each stage and a differ-
ent theme each week.
For instance, a question for a preschooler might
be: “Can you make a sentence with the rhyming
words cap, map and tap?”
For a high school student, the theme one week
was “What can you offer the world?” One day’s card
included this statement by Chris Guillebeau, an
entrepreneur best known for the Art of Non-
Conforming blog: “Invest in people.” And the
TiffinTalk questions: “Why? How can you do this?
What’s in it for you? Can your investing in people
affect the world at large?”
Even the cards themselves are meant to stimu-
late. For the parent-child line, the card for each day
of the week includes one puzzle piece, with the full
picture exposed on the final day. The backs of the
cards are “no-parent zones,” filled with interesting
facts — the difference between penguins and puf-
fins, for instance — or fun challenges (Name words
ending in scopes.)
For the time-constrained, daily use is not manda-
tory, of course.
“The magic is what the card enables, and that’s
the conversation,” whenever it happens, said
Friesen, director of operations and technology.
Alicia Carey, a high school English teacher is so
impressed with what TiffinTalk has inspired in her
6-year-old daughter that when a friend asked what
she could get Dori for Christmas, “I said, ‘Would
you mind buying us the next set of TiffinTalk
cards?’”
Dori looks forward to pulling out the cards each
night at dinner. To her mother’s delight, “dinner-
times have gotten longer,” Alicia Carey said.
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NEW YOU 2017 13
PARENTINGHave better talks with your children
By Diane MastrullThe Philadelphia Inquirer
NY
it utilization will increase if you lower your available credit.
MAKE DOUBLE PAYMENTS ON CREDIT CARDS
The Experian survey found that nearly one-third of consumers who had
unexpected expenses in the holidays racked up debt as a result. Whether
you have holiday debt or other debt, it can keep you from building savings
and improving your finances, Dearing said.
To tackle it quickly, she recommends setting a goal to make double pay-
ments on your credit cards for four months. “You may have to sacrifice
small luxuries to do it, but you’ll make a big dent in your credit card debt,”
she said. “It will feel amazing, and you’ll see money being freed up for other
things — like increasing your 401(k) contribution.”
REBUILD YOUR EMERGENCY FUND
A survey by T. Rowe Price found that 14 percent of parents have used
emergency funds to pay for holiday spending. However, the purpose of an
emergency fund is to have cash to cover unexpected expenses — and the hol-
idays are far from unexpected. If you tapped your fund, you’ll need to quick-
ly rebuild it so you don’t have to rely on credit if a real emergency occurs.
“Your goal should be to have six months’ worth of expenses in a readily
accessible account for unexpected expenses,” Dearing said. “Start by quickly
replenishing at least two months’ worth of expenses.”
The key to reaching this goal is setting up automatic transfers from check-
ing to savings so you’re not scrambling at the end of the month to figure out
how to come up with extra money to set aside. “You may be surprised by
how doable this is,” Dearing said. “And you’ll feel a lot better, knowing
you’re prepared to handle an unexpected expense.”
BOOST RETIREMENT CONTRIBUTIONS
The T. Rowe Price survey found that 11 percent of parents have tapped
retirement savings for the holidays. Withdrawing money from a retirement
account will hit you with a triple whammy: a tax bill, a 10 percent penalty
on the early withdrawal and loss of compounding interest on those funds.
Even a withdrawal of a few hundred dollars could result in thousands less in
savings at retirement, according to T. Rowe Price.
To bounce back, you need to boost retirement account contributions in
2017. In fact, those who didn’t raid their 401(k) for holiday spending also
should boost savings. “Most of us are not maxing out our contributions, but
it’s the simplest and most painless way to save for retirement,” Dearing said.
“If your contribution increases your employer match, that will be basically
free money. Don’t miss out.”
The majority of employers that offer 401(k) plans will match employees’
contributions — typically $1 for every $1 the employee contributes, up to 6
percent of the employee’s annual income, according to Financial Engines.
But one-fourth of employees don’t contribute enough to receive their full
match and, as a result, leave an average $1,336 of free money on the table.
Increase your retirement account contribution in 2017 to get your
employer’s full match — if one is offered — to rebuild savings and secure
your financial future.
START SAVING FOR THE 2017 HOLIDAYS NOW
To avoid ending up with another financial hangover in 2018, use your
holiday spending data from 2016 to plan ahead for the 2017 holidays, Hayes
said.
“Agree well in advance on a maximum dollar amount for your spouse so
you aren’t trying to one up each other,” he said. “Decide on a dollar
amount for each family member, or better yet, pick a family member to
shop for so you aren’t stuck buying 10 gifts. More families today are experi-
encing the stress of the holidays so don’t be shy of bringing this topic up
with the rest of your family.”
If you know how much you plan to spend for the 2017 holidays now, you
can start setting aside a little each month in savings. Then, you’ll have
enough cash by the time the holidays roll around that you won’t have to
rack up debt or wreck your finances again to cover spending.
14 NEW YOU 2017
financescontinued from page 11
NY
Maybe your 2016 ended with a bang of
booze. If you nursed a holiday hang-
over, perhaps it’s time for a change.
Whether your family has an addiction history
that’s prompting a rethinking, or you are simply
questioning whether a cocktail should accompany
every night’s dinner as an appetizer, it never hurts
to re-evaluate health choices.
Dr. Indra Cidambi, psychiatrist and medical director
for the Center for Network Therapy in New Jersey,
which helps guide patients through detox, provided
some insight on the topic.
One clue it might be time for a change? If you
find yourself explaining that your alcohol intake is
a reasonable amount, whether to yourself or others.
“When we don’t want to do something, as
human beings, we justify,” she said.
This interview has been condensed.
Q: So, New Year’s resolution season. Is January a
good time to cut back?
A: It’s not a good idea to do something because
of the season, because that’s not why you should do
it. You want to really look at the whole bigger pic-
ture. Do I really want to do it? And if so, you need
to jot down at least three reasons.
Q: How do you decide if it’s time to drink less?
A: If I feel that my drinking has been impacting
my day-to-day life, other people are pointing out to
me, “You’re drinking too much.” That means the
functioning of that individual is being jeopardized.
The question is, should I be drinking, should I be
cutting down, or should I quit drinking?
Drinking alcohol in moderation or not drinking
at all would be the question.
Q: What is drinking in moderation?
A: The guideline is, one drink a day for women
of all ages and men older than 65 years of age. If it
is a man (65 or younger), up to two drinks a day.
Having said that, that kind of moderate alcohol
use is really unheard of.
Q: What is considered more than drinking in
moderation?
A: More than three drinks a day, or more than
seven drinks a week, for women and men over 65.
Four drinks a day or more than 14 drinks a week
for (younger) men.
Q: What are the pros and cons of going cold tur-
key?
A: (For addicts) cold turkey is very dangerous. You
really want to cut down mindfully, depending on
about how much and how long the person has been
drinking. Go to the primary care doctor. Be honest
about how many drinks a day you’ve been drinking.
For regular drinkers, if somebody is drinking
three to four drinks a day, they cut the drinking to
two drinks a day, one drink a day. Bring it down.
Say, “Today, maybe I will not drink. Let me try to
kind of quit my evening drink as soon as I walk into
the house.” Instead of going three times a week to
parties, cutting down and going once.
Q: Is it helpful to cut out one thing, like beer or
liquor?
A: One drink is one drink. People will say, “I no
longer want to drink hard liquor, I’ll only do red
wine or white wine.” It’s really the justification
again.
By Alison BowenChicago Tribune
ADDICTIONSYou’re drinking too much. How to cut back
NY
NEW YOU 2017 15
sugar and gradually decrease how much you use
over time. It can be done, Lindsay said. Believe it or
not, your taste buds can change over time no matter
your age.
“What I tell people is I would rather see them
put a half teaspoon of real sugar in their tea and
gradually decrease rather than use artificial sweeten-
ers,” she said.
If you love your Hershey bars, that’s OK. You can
still have them, but this is a good example of where
moderation comes into play. When you focus on
healthy foods first, you will tend to eat less of the
junk food in the interim.
It is common knowledge that water is at the top
of the list of good-for-you beverages, but coffee isn’t
bad for you either. But if you’re a fan of designer
javas, like cappuccino, you don’t necessarily have to
give it up. Simply save it as a reward for yourself on
the weekends instead of consuming it every day.
Essential to any healthy lifestyle, and to also
ensure you keep your metabolism motivated, it’s
important to keep moving. Exercise is basically
“icing on the cake” of healthful living, Lindsay said.
“Exercise is good and will help with weight loss,”
she said, “but what’s most important is what is
going in your mouth.”
nutritioncontinued from page 4
WWW.DAILYJOURNAL.NET
NY
Johnson believes that initial expectations for a
given relationship are at least partially based on
what she refers to as each person’s “A parts.”
“These are on display for all to see; and they’re
wonderful,” she said. “I’m talking about loyalty,
dependability, how we care for others and the fact
that we work like dogs.”
Conversely, “B parts,” as described by Johnson,
may be less desirable, accidentally or purposely hid-
den away and might not even emerge until a few
years down the road.
“B parts often include insecurity, a sense of being
judged, feeling responsible for something or maybe
even being scared,” she said. “It’s bad enough that
we don’t know the B parts of the person we marry
right upfront, but sometimes we don’t truly even
understand our own B parts.”
However, sooner or later, Johnson said, life will
intervene, and each individual’s B parts will rise to
the surface, sometimes following a traumatic event
like a death in the family, the loss of a job, or even a
child being born into or leaving the family. That,
she said, is when inner conflict begins to develop.
“Your A parts are saying that you need to talk to
one another, go out on a date and spend time togeth-
er while your B parts are saying ‘forget it,’ Johnson
continued. “At one point, the B parts felt safe. But
now they have more information and feel dicey about
things. So each person must become responsible for
feeling his or her own sorrow and frustration while
learning how to talk, trust and feel. Then, the A parts
can go out to dinner and have a marvelous time.”
Feelings of betrayal can also doom a relationship.
“We usually think of sexual betrayal in a marriage but
that’s just one aspect,” Dukate said. “It could involve
siding with parents, children or even friends instead of a
mate. A sense of betrayal could even be brought about
by the breaking of significant promises, feelings of being
disrespected, a lack of listening or criticism.
“Everybody has a lot of the same stuff going on,
so the question is whether a couple will work as a
team against the stresses of life or will they each do
their own thing.”
In short, Dukate and Johnson believe that in the
majority of cases, hard core, physical issues between
a couple that begin to arise after a few years together
aren’t necessarily the root of the ever present prob-
lem.
“Sure, sometimes something like money can be a
control factor, but it’s not really the issue. It’s what the
issue represents to each individual. So you have to
know what those issues strategically mean to people,”
Johnson said. “Money might really mean control to
one person while it means vulnerability to another.”
How can a couple prevent or minimize the
impact of hurdles that will inevitably pop up after a
few years of togetherness?
Johnson believes “courageous conversation” is
the key.
“Everybody has a public side and a private side,
and the private side may cause a person to do mean
stuff under the table,” she said. “In an argument
about buying a new flat screen television, the coura-
geous side must show up and realize that the argu-
ment might not be about the television but rather,
some other issue all together.
“People need to ask one another what they’re
feeling and reassure that other person that they can
be trusted. Each person needs to show up with their
whole heart and be willing to turn around and take
another view.”
Dukate agrees. She suggests doing the following
right from the start:
• Set aside time to talk about things that you like
and want to do together.
• Make a list of things you admire about your
partner.
• Say you’re sorry and mean it because there has
to be a lot of forgiveness in a marriage.
• Keep in close contact with each other and
understand it’s a warning sign when you find your-
self not even wanting to talk with the other person
in order to avoid a fight.
• Continuously work on your marriage and if
something gets gridlocked, go to counseling.
• Don’t give up. Most marriages can be fixed.
marriagecontinued from page 5
“People need to ask one another what they’re feeling and reassure that other person
that they can be trusted.”
— Debbie Dukate, counselor at Kenosis Franklin Counseling Center
NY
Jessica N. Gillespie, MDJaime M. Ranieri, MD
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